AIBU to rehome our much loved dog?

[Fluffy2023]

I need some impartial advice before I potentially make a terrible choice so hit me with your honest thoughts please. For context, I have a dog who we have owned from a pup. He was brought home and lockdown happened the following day which meant no socialisation or training classes. This meant after lockdown, he was terrified and fear aggressive to dogs and people. We did take him to multiple training classes when things re opened, however this made him more scared. We have always managed his fear aggression by keeping him away from visitors and worked with a behaviouralist, making him slightly more calm. We have also had a baby who is now a toddler and our dog is scared and lashes out at the toddler whenever he is in the same room. We are now in a position where the dog is living in another room to the family and we feel this isn't fair on him. He gets walked and love and attention but not as much as we or he would like. We have found a possible suitable match for him (pending a home check and that the new owner wants him after initial meeting).
I'm in bits, is it more cruel to send him away, or to keep him with us but living in a separate part of the house? We have tried things with vet advice including medication but no improvement. My main worry is that even with checks, his new home might be cruel or dishonest or give him away again when we can keep him, but just not as close to us as he would like. Any advice appreciated.

This. They are well known as troublesome, aggressive dogs. Everyone thinks that,because they are tiny, they are sweet and cute. They absolutely aren't.

Sorry, but this is complete bullshit.

Chihuahuas are just one of many dog breeds that require proper knowledge and training to own.

They are wonderful dogs when trained properly. Our rescue chihuahua has all of her KC good citizen awards. People often come up to her and say 'Oh I usually don't like little dogs but she's lovely'. She loves children and has helped quite a number of them get over their fear of dogs.

Because they are such small dogs they just need extra training when they are puppies so that the world doesn't seem so scary. Lots of positive reinforcement for giant hands approaching their heads, and socialisation with lots and lots of dogs of different sizes.

But they get such a bad reputation because idiots who can't be arsed with putting any work in, but have intelligence enough to know they don't want to fuck up a dog big enough to kill them, get chihuahuas and raise them badly. You see some of them tormenting and scaring them on social media for fun.

A fear reactive dog is a fear reactive dog, no matter its size. It's just that chihuahuas, due to their size, need more work than others on that.

Sorry to hear you are in this situation OP. Chihuahuas can be very intense dogs. They are clever and territorial and due to massive overbreeding they can have some really undesirable traits, in particular, anxiousness and fear aggression. For this reason i would not buy a chi puppy or recommend that. They are not massively tolerant dogs so i wouldn't recommend them with small children either. Most need quit a bit of mental stimulation and company. There reason for living is to be a companion so being separate, even with walks, will be distressing for the dog. Rehoming sounds like a very good idea.

I don’t think the type of person rehoming “problem” dogs on line will much care. They ll show OP a nice home with nice people. It’s all a front. It’s how dog fighters operate. And desperate owners fall for it every time. Fighters say their only problem is getting enough dogs for bait. Please don’t do this OP.

Im usually the last person to say this but pts is kinder . Rescues are overwhelmed there is no option to deal with dogs with issues.

I think you need to go through with it, your home isn’t suitable for the dog. Fear-aggressive dogs and toddlers are an explosive mix and one or both will pay the price at some point.
And I’m speaking as one of those nice people that takes on dogs with mega-issues, but there’s not a chance I would do it with young children around.

Rehome but please do not get another one if you are not willing to commit to a dog for it’s entire life.

PTS seems drastic for a young, healthy dog who is exhibiting absolutely typical breed characteristics

Please PTS your poor dog, I can’t believe if you love your dog as you said, you are prepared to send it to someone you meet online and please don’t get more puppies, I have seen this story too many times, couple get a cute puppy, they don’t put the work or boundaries and then when kids come, let’s get rid of the dog

I think you’re doing the right thing for everyone, for him to live with someone who will embrace his flaws and have time to work with him is ideal. Just in future wait to have a dog until you’re done having babies to avoid this in the future. I’d also wait until children are 7-9 dependant on breed.

I would rehome through a rescue as direct rehome.

We have a dog thats fear reactive but no kids, we are experienced and he has been fucked up by his previous owners. We live in a very specific way, we go on holiday or out for over 4 hours, and my mum (rescue owner) cares for him, if she doesn't or can't we don't go. We only go to walk in very remote areas or paddocks. Visitors are difficult but manageable - its more dogs, and deep down he can and wants actually mix if introduced after a really long time as he is so so scared. We have another dog who is his bestest friend.

Children we knew would be off the table after adopting him and will probably be infertile when he goes, but he would not have been rehomed to just anyone.

This is the type of commitment that is required for a fear reactive dog that has had all the training and just are what they are. Mine isn't bad with people and is over loving after intial meet but I would never let him near a child - they make high pitched noises and they are small. It is good you have recognised this.

Those who are saying pts - you don't know or have not met the dog. He is clearly fine with the resident adults but not children. There is always a place for dogs - obviously if they are rabid thats a different matter. Slow introductions to new owner and rescue back up are strongly recommended.

THIS. I have have chihuahuas all my life, my first ones were nightmares because we didn’t raise them right, now in later life I have a chihuahua who is the most well rounded dog you would ever meet, they’re incredibly intelligent and affectionate if raised right!

They are well known as troublesome, aggressive dogs.

They only have a bad reputation because people think small dog = no need to bother with proper training. A well-bred, properly trained and raised chihuahua is no more likely to be troublesome and aggressive than a Labrador.

But they're small and cute and fit in handbags so lots of people don't bother. Then, like OP, they find themselves with a tiny, terrified animal who has no choice but to snap and snarl in order to keep scary things away.

I mean, if I was only six inches high, I think I'd find the world a bloody scary place too, especially if I found myself living with a family who hadn't done anything to reassure me or to help me see the world in a more positive way.

I meant to add, the same applies to lots of the small terrier breeds too. People don't research or look at breed traits, they just go by looks and size.

You need to think about what is best for the dog, not what is best for you. Rehoming him may feel like you've done right by him, but it's not - it's just assuaging your guilt. I'm sorry to be blunt but it's true. Even if this new home is legit (I bet its not), he'll be miserable and stressed. PTS is the kindest thing for HIM.

PTS? Fuck me. NO. Rehome or manage the situation.

There are much worse fates for a dog than falling asleep peacefully in the presence of their humans.

I think it would be a good idea to ask for regular email updates for about a year or so see how things settling and no problem occurs !
I rescued a chi chi of a family same kinda problems he was a scared little thing be he fitted in so well into our family our kids weee teenagers at the time and they doted so much love on him he is lovely dog now .
previous owners asked for updates via email we have had him 8 years now and he’s perfect for us he’s weird but we love him x

Rehome but try the breed rescue first or other reputable rescues.
I'd be suspicious as the why the person you have found wants to rehome your dog and I'd be worried by the fact they have dogs already and haven't realised presumably that this is going to be a problem for your chi.

Thank you for the balanced advice. We have muzzle trained him yes im in 2 minds as to keep him but keep the muzzle on but also questioning is that not cruel too ? Lots of weigh up.

When we take on an animal it is our duty to put them first. This animal is suffering and rehoming (where he'll possible be used as bait) is prolonging his suffering. its not right to do that just so that we humans can make ourselves feel better.

Putting an animal first by killing them. Of course. How stupid of me.

I love dogs, and think rehoming should always be a lost resort.

You need to rehome your dog. It’s not safe for your child and it’s not fair in the dog.

Quite. So fed up of people anthropomorphising animals. It's why there are so many completely ill mannered dogs with no boundaries around, people think you have to raise them like children.

you think it's better to leave them suffering?

Is it better for the dog to move on to another home where it may well be equally as scared and aggressive, to then be moved on again and maybe again? Does that sound like a happy and fulfilling life for it?