AIBU to rehome our much loved dog?

[Fluffy2023]

I need some impartial advice before I potentially make a terrible choice so hit me with your honest thoughts please. For context, I have a dog who we have owned from a pup. He was brought home and lockdown happened the following day which meant no socialisation or training classes. This meant after lockdown, he was terrified and fear aggressive to dogs and people. We did take him to multiple training classes when things re opened, however this made him more scared. We have always managed his fear aggression by keeping him away from visitors and worked with a behaviouralist, making him slightly more calm. We have also had a baby who is now a toddler and our dog is scared and lashes out at the toddler whenever he is in the same room. We are now in a position where the dog is living in another room to the family and we feel this isn't fair on him. He gets walked and love and attention but not as much as we or he would like. We have found a possible suitable match for him (pending a home check and that the new owner wants him after initial meeting).
I'm in bits, is it more cruel to send him away, or to keep him with us but living in a separate part of the house? We have tried things with vet advice including medication but no improvement. My main worry is that even with checks, his new home might be cruel or dishonest or give him away again when we can keep him, but just not as close to us as he would like. Any advice appreciated.

If you are worried about people asking about the dog and judging you, don't. No one really cares about the dogs people have. If someone asks you can say, oh little barky face she's gone...what a lovely dog you have!

There's a lady near me who has several grumpy chihuahuas that she's rescued in similar circumstances and they live the life of Riley.
I think you should rehome- there are quite a lot of elderly/less mobile people who would like a small dog, no children around and the dog would be at home more. That would probably be a great set up for your dog.
Only you know, but do you think he'd enjoy a quiet adult only home with less exercise?

And would you ever forgive yourself if the dog managed to harm your child ? Sadly keeping the dog can’t be an option in your position.

Finding a willing person with experience of dogs with behavioural issues is the best option as he will have a far better life with someone like that than being kept separately in your home away from the family - that actually will do little to improve it’s behaviour or quality of life and many dog lovers and owners might actually see as cruel.

I think your last resort would be residential training. It will cost a lot of money but at least look into it. I couldn't rehome my dog for the same fears you have. You don't know how well they will be looked after.

Please don't take this the wrong way, I understand you love your dog, but it really needs a home with people who understand how to look after the breed/this particular breed trait.

You can't blame lockdown for the issues. You really can't.

Have you tried a breed-based rehoming organisation?

I say this because the breed Association for my Aussie dog has a re-homing person where only this breed is accepted, assessed and prepared for re-homing.

https://www.chihuahuarescue.co.uk/#:~:text=At%20Chihuahua%20Rescue%20UK%2C%20we,be%20cherished%20and%20cared%20for.

Cross-posted with @harrumphh 🐕

He's going to a home that has other dogs? He has fear based aggression towards other dogs? There would be no question for me, I'd have him euthanased. How on earth can he feel happy and relaxed with these dogs and unknown people around him? These are his worst fears and you're willingly putting him in that situation. The poor little soul. You've tried very hard with him but this sounds crazy. It's just not fair.

Have you considered muzzling him when he is around your toddler? There are some very good muzzles that can be quite comfortable. Is it ideal? No. Is it better than keeping him locked away all the time or re housing him? Quite possibly.
We had a dog once who needed to be muzzled around other dogs. She acclimatised to it very quickly. We made sure to have it off when she was in a safe space. She could drink etc fine in it.
Maybe with more exposure to your toddler without so much heightened tension that you are afraid of her biting him things might settle a little.

Why would you have him euthanised over just finding a better home with someone who can actually train and support him properly instead of using lockdown and half-heartedness as an excuse?

Ultimately, your human child has to come before your beloved pet dog.
They cannot co exist safely in the same home. The dog will always be a risk to the toddler, and that canot be allowed to be the case.

Chihuahuas are divas, yippy, temperamental, bossy, nippy, and they just generally hate people. They’re pills.
They aren’t fond of children or sharing with other pets and they demand that you cater to their every whim. They get cranky when they don’t get their way. They’re just cranky, period.
I doubt having him around other dogs would have done much good, honestly.
I’ve had Chihuahuas - one on one. As long as they get their own way, there won’t be trouble (they aren’t really that bad, but almost).
I have a friend who has a Chihuahua — it’s 10 and it still growls & barks at me & won’t let me anywhere near it. Forget about petting it. But it’s glued to her - they’re a pair if there ever was one.
I think they’re adorable because they’re so bitchy, but they also don’t make very good family pets. They’re more of a one-person type dog. And this little dog is about 10 inches long. Tiny.
I’m really sorry you’re having to go through this. I hope you find a good home for your little guy and I hope he fits in wherever he goes.
Your kids are what matter and the Chihuahua will always think he’s #1 in the pecking order.
Better to send him to the farm than to argue with him.

“our dog is scared and lashes out at the toddler whenever he is in the same room. ”

why are you passing this risky animal on to someone else?

get it euthanised for the safety and well being of everyone, including the dog.

Incredible that this needs to be said.
but apparently it does!

I will never understand people who put a DOG over a CHILD.

Please PTS. He sounds miserable and could bite someone at the new home you have found.

THIS

Put your CHILD first and rehome or euthanise the dog.

I can’t believe you would expect your own child to share a home with an aggressive animal. Seriously.

We too have a lockdown pup and I know its not easy at all. Luckily mine just now thinks every animal is to be played with , thinks sheep and cows are just bigger versions of himself so cant be off lead and has absolutely no recall and hates the car - all traits we can live with

However you have a snappy fearful dog

Yes you have to re home . If you can not trust a dog around a child, you cant have both and obviously the child comes first

However I would advise going through a rehoming centre for the breed if at all possible rather then someone who says they can cope.

Those calling for the dog to be PTS , please wise up. Plenty of dogs who have behaviour issues can be sorted with the right home - hence my advice to use a rehoming centre. In this case we are talking about a toy dog, a dog that can easily be handled and taken out of a situation without the threat of being mauled to death.. Whilst I understand all too well that any dog going for you is scary and can be painful, in this dogs case we arent going to be needing police marksmen ( yes I was attacked by a corgi and have the scars still )

Rehome that dog. Tomorrow if possible

Honestly you have created this situation by failing to train your dog properly. It’s been years since lockdown and you’ve failed to sort this out. Now you want to get rid of him and let someone else fix it.

People who love their dogs don’t get rid of them, they work on any problems. So as you don’t love the dog it’s probably best if you let him go to a better home.

Exactly this.

It wasn't lockdown, {Plenty of lockdown dogs met up around us} it was likely poor breeding and inherited temperament.

Probably a puppy farm where very young pups weren't socialised properly with people and kept in an outbuilding.

Puppy farm dogs are renowned for being of poor temperament and fearful.

We had a dog that was absolutely hopeless with other dogs and anyone who visited. It was a pain in the arse but we managed but as pp have said the problem is your dog plus a young child. It must be incredibly stressful day after day managing that and a worry that your dog may snap at your LO. I would contact the breed rescue and take their advice. There will be retirees who would take your dog on and as an only dog in an adult only home they would be showered with love and affection in a very low stress environment which may just transform your dogs behaviour. Doggy isn't going to get stressed by other dogs or kids if there aren't any around. And you would know that someone is getting companionship and affection from your (ex) dog.

I also think PTS, a dog that lunges at a toddler is not safe. He’s unlikely to cope well with multiple other rescue dogs all with their own issues. I’m a vet and we see this a lot, it’s understandable that you're desperate for him to have a good life but I really don’t think a house full of other dogs will work for a small dog with that level of fear aggression.
You do sound lovely though and I’m sorry you’re in this position

You mention him being fear aggressive to other dogs. Why is he matched to another home that has other dogs?

Who matched him?

That said, the most important part is that he lunges and your child. This dog has to go.

I’m quite surprised you are even asking this, of course the dog needs to go! Can you imagine the guilt if it bit and scarred your child’s face?