AIBU to rehome our much loved dog?

[Fluffy2023]

I need some impartial advice before I potentially make a terrible choice so hit me with your honest thoughts please. For context, I have a dog who we have owned from a pup. He was brought home and lockdown happened the following day which meant no socialisation or training classes. This meant after lockdown, he was terrified and fear aggressive to dogs and people. We did take him to multiple training classes when things re opened, however this made him more scared. We have always managed his fear aggression by keeping him away from visitors and worked with a behaviouralist, making him slightly more calm. We have also had a baby who is now a toddler and our dog is scared and lashes out at the toddler whenever he is in the same room. We are now in a position where the dog is living in another room to the family and we feel this isn't fair on him. He gets walked and love and attention but not as much as we or he would like. We have found a possible suitable match for him (pending a home check and that the new owner wants him after initial meeting).
I'm in bits, is it more cruel to send him away, or to keep him with us but living in a separate part of the house? We have tried things with vet advice including medication but no improvement. My main worry is that even with checks, his new home might be cruel or dishonest or give him away again when we can keep him, but just not as close to us as he would like. Any advice appreciated.

@Ames74 - small dogs are often used as bait - especially aggressive ones.

He definitely needs to go elsewhere. Would you consider rejoining to a rescue? They would then be able to work with his issues before rehoming to somewhere that's a good match. I've seen dogs with issues being moved between homes, just making things worse.

Nope they will just let their fighting dogs tear it apart.

This, be very careful.

Much better to rehome in this case, this breed is a one person dog and will be unhappy living separate from their ‘person’. Your baby needs to come first. You need to find someone who understands the breed though.

Please don't get another animal. They require attention, care, training, especially dogs. You had an ideal opportunity during lockdown to do all of that- it isn't difficult , you can find it all online, not rocket science- and you didn't bother.

They use smaller dogs to get the dogs used to killing other dogs. They have them rip them pieces and them move up to bigger dogs.

Lockdown is a pathetic excuse really. A lot of people manage without training classes and don't end up with aggressive dogs. I don't think dogs are the species for your family.

Rehome for the dog and your child's sake.

Why does anyone actually want to own these horrible little dogs? I've literally never met a nice one.

Well, it really boils down to your child or the dog, doesn't it? Even a small dog is capable of inflicting injury. It was a small dog (not ours) unmuzzled in a public place that bit my then 3yo daughter on her face. A cm or two up and she could have lost her sight. She grew up around a beautifully natured Staffie (my sister's) without incident, but since the bite she's always been terrified of smaller dogs. She's nearly 8 now and still remembers it.

If you have someone prepared to adopt it, it's a much better outcome for everyone, including the dog. As long as they're completely aware of the behavioural problems and are prepared to give the dog all the loves, care and attention it needs.

The most responsible action would be to have the dog PTS, not rehome it

There's a reason the rescues pts very aggressive dogs with bite histories. There are not homes queuing up for these kind of food. The fact that you might have found one should be ringing very loud alarm bells.

Finding a home for it online is absolutely mad. You don't know that person, you can home check and get a glimpse of whatever they want you to see for half an hour and then you'll never see your beloved dog again. You'll have no idea whether you actually have given him to a good home or not. But i guess your conscience will be clear that you didn't put him to sleep and that he's still alive somewhere - whether he's suffering or not, who knows?

People lie. He might end up on the lap of someone who knows exactly how to solve all his issues being loved and cuddled forever.

Or he might end up with someone who will use him as bait for dog fighting. I dunno, i wouldn't take that chance with an animal that i love. The only way id rehome would be to a friend or family member, or pts.

You need to find a couple who maybe don't want children. Maybe a rescue could help you find the right people. Maybe a muzzle would help in the mean time. It would stop him making contact, while allowing him to be around his family. Hiding him away is a no no when socialising dogs.

@Ames74

Do you not understand dog fighting?

It's just weighing up what's best for our dog as well as our toddler.

I do mean this kindly - but you have to accept that they aren’t two equal claims in this. You must put your child’s safety first.

You hear so many stories about people who’ve been incredibly vigilant about keeping their kids and dogs separate. Until - one day, when you’re just not thinking about it….. The phone rings. Someone turns up at the door unexpectedly. There’s a smell of burning from the kitchen. And you forget. Just for a few seconds - but enough time for a dog to bite and cause a child to be disfigured or seriously injured. I know someone who went through something similar and the worst of it was, he knew it was his fault. And anyone could have done it; he was usually very careful. Awful situation all round.

Given that the breed rescue won't take him, you need to have him put to sleep. Re-homing with random strangers is far too risky and euthanasia will be the likely outcome for this dog anyway if he goes to a household with other dogs.
Please don't consider getting another puppy.

You utterly failed this dog. Do not get another.

Lockdown is not an excuse, plenty of good dog owners who knew what they were doing managed just fine. You just wanted a cute puppy and didn't bother finding out how to train and care for it properly.

Put the dog down, it is the last and probably only kind thing you could do for it. It will either be sold on Gumtree by you to a 'family' (they can be pretty convincing) who will use it as bait in an opening round of a dog fight. Or passed on to another idiot who has no clue and put down anyway.

Unless you are in the local area of a fantastic rescue like 'Raven's Rescue' then the poor thing stands no chance.

Hopefully you researched having children a bit more thoroughly.

You are doing the best for your dog and your family. x

bespoke chihuahua rescues they won't accept him with his behavioural issues

This is the message Loud and Clear . A specific rescue who will not accept him even though they know that this breed has unattractive traits .

new potential adopter could be an Animal Hoarder . Your dog will be one of many

I love animals and have a distant respect for dogs (not my favourite animal) but really the best option for your dog , you , your child and most importantly , your DOG , is to have him euthanised .
Animals don't care about the future . But his here and now sounds fraught and grim.

Just want to amend my previous comment - are the new potential owners via a rescue who will do thorough checks? If not I would not be confident sending your dog there. Go through a legitimate resuce.

Animals don't care about the future . But his here and now sounds fraught and grim.

This. Why are you so adamant about not having him put to sleep? He is not enjoying his life now with a safe family he is familiar with even after professional help. How do you expect him to love life living somewhere else with strangers and strange dogs.

So what? A chi is knee high to a toddler.
As is a Labrador to me.

Poor dog. How many others are living lives like this I wonder?
Anyway, moving forward - a specialist breed rescue is the way to go.
https://www.chihuahuarescue.co.uk

Make this your first port of call. You obv need to put your baby first. But you owe it to your dog big time to get this next move right. But I think you know that.

Your post has made me very sad.

Oh, and if they take your poor dog, please give the charity a decent donation when you leave him there. They'll be getting you out of a hole and deserve a helping hand.

Oh I've just read the specialist rescue won't take him? Crikey. Ignore me.