AIBU to rehome our much loved dog?

[Fluffy2023]

I need some impartial advice before I potentially make a terrible choice so hit me with your honest thoughts please. For context, I have a dog who we have owned from a pup. He was brought home and lockdown happened the following day which meant no socialisation or training classes. This meant after lockdown, he was terrified and fear aggressive to dogs and people. We did take him to multiple training classes when things re opened, however this made him more scared. We have always managed his fear aggression by keeping him away from visitors and worked with a behaviouralist, making him slightly more calm. We have also had a baby who is now a toddler and our dog is scared and lashes out at the toddler whenever he is in the same room. We are now in a position where the dog is living in another room to the family and we feel this isn't fair on him. He gets walked and love and attention but not as much as we or he would like. We have found a possible suitable match for him (pending a home check and that the new owner wants him after initial meeting).
I'm in bits, is it more cruel to send him away, or to keep him with us but living in a separate part of the house? We have tried things with vet advice including medication but no improvement. My main worry is that even with checks, his new home might be cruel or dishonest or give him away again when we can keep him, but just not as close to us as he would like. Any advice appreciated.

If the dog is that aggressive and fearful it needs put to sleep, not rehoming.

It sounds like an awful situation and you obviously can’t keep the dog so you will have to rehome it or have it pts. Dogs are usually quite practical and they tend to like the person who feeds them, so trying out a new home might be worth a shot. The fact that these people are willing to take on an aggressive chihuahua means they are either clueless or massive dog lovers. Hopefully it is the latter.

its not fair to keep him separate and it’s not fair on the child or the dog to let them be together. He needs a home where he can integrate with the family. You aren’t the first or the last person to buy a lockdown dog and be in this situation. The only solution now is to rehome him, dogs do adapt very quickly. I assume the new owners are aware of his anxieties? Last thing you want is him passed from home to home

Eventually your child will open the door and the dog and child will clash. I’ve had dogs for 50 years and honestly, I would not keep the dog. It’s a disaster in the making. And the dog’s anxiety is off the scale. It’s a miserable way to exist. If vet support hasn’t done anything, you cannot help him. Either give him away with full disclosure - if you can’t, your only other option is a decision you don’t want to consider.

You could still walk dogs during lockdown. Could he not have socialised then? To answer your question, keeping him with you but locked in another room is cruelest.

Are those recommending PTS reading the posts? The breed is well known for this behaviour and there could have been the same outcome whether it was lockdown or not. They aren’t really great with children. There’s one in my walking group, it lunges at everyone, other dogs (large) are terrified of him. He bit one of the ladies when she stupidly tried to pick him up after his owner climbed over a gate. They do not need PTS for this. People who understand the breed won’t be put off at all knowing that he’s fearful around people / children. It’s not exactly uncommon for the breed. I’d think a home with no other dogs, one owner is probably best for this dog. I definitely think you should rehome via the specific breed charity mentioned as they will be able to find a good home and help new owners with the issues. You can always ask that they rehome via you if the need came up so you can at least ensure he / she has a good home. It’s not easy when you love the dog and just want the best for him.

To be honest even without lockdown most chihuahuas are anxious yappy things.

You need the get rid of the dog for the sake of the child! You can’t keep a vicious dog in the same house as a vulnerable little toddler!

I’m not sure if your dog is fear aggressive of other dogs it’s a good idea to rehome with other dogs. If there is a specific rescue for your breed I would go down that road.

This...

Just ensure dog goes to good new home!

I think you should rehome the dog - the lead up is your fault but that’s another issue - BUT I don’t think you should just find someone yourself. I think you should seek help from a charity eg Dogs trust who can vet the person etc. Don’t just hand him over to someone else. He also has quite complex behaviours that require not just any random person. And this will be traumatic for him so he will have trauma aswell. Please don’t just hand him over to a random person. And also please don’t get another dog….

There's nothing wrong with responsibly rehoming a dog to a family where the dog will be happier. It happens even with the best will in the world. You have a dog who is reactive to your toddler - that's a disaster in the making for everyone. You're doing the right thing for the dog as long as the new home is experienced with the breed and this issues and aware of and can handle his dog on dog behaviour.

If you're going to re-home your dog, please do it through a proper breed rescue or at least via a charity who can do background checks etc. on the new owners. You can normally keep your dog at home with you while they do all their checks - don't just give him to some random person on the internet.

Fully aware of this, and wouldn't consider another dog due to feeling so guilty. As any other new dog owner, we had the best intentions, however, this hasn't panned out despite trying our best.

If he's a dangerous dog it would be kinder and more responsible to have him euthanised.

I think you're right to re-home him. Your main thing concern about this seems to be what would happen to him afterwards. Could you ask the breed rescue for help, not to take the dog in but in doing a home check for you or even just in going through the things you need to be looking out for in a new home? This could give you more confidence in whatever decision you make.

I appreciate that you know this dog well, but I home check for a rescue and their standard list of things to look at includes things I wouldn't necessarily have thought of myself. If the dog I'm checking for has particular issues then the rescue will chat to me about additional things to find out.

If the dog is fear aggressive to other dogs, i think it's a terrible idea to re-home it to someone that has other dogs. That's a timebomb waiting to go off.

I know someone who had a fear aggressive dog. They couldn't cope anymore so they rehomed it with full disclosure that it must never be around a child. New owner ignored that, the dog bit a child and got passed off to a new home. God knows where it is now or how many other people its bitten.

I think the kindest thing to do with a dog that's so stressed it can't cope with normal life is pts. At least their future is assured, and the dog doesn't know anything about it. He just goes to sleep.

Thank you I have gone through the proper channels but been advised from charity's and bespoke chihuahua rescues they won't accept him with his behavioural issues. I've found this new potential adopter online and have a lot of concern around this. I will carry out a home check first.

This is a really helpful post thank you and I had not thought of this. I will definetly contact them and ask for some advice.

@Fluffy2023 think about it logically - why would anyone legitimately want to take on a fear aggressive and reactive dog and put it in a home with multiple other dogs?

You would be failing your dog to let him go to somewhere like that. A chihuahua would stand absolutely no chance if he got attacked.

I had sympathy until you said you’d found a new home online.

No. If you loved your dog you would not rehome to a random off the internet - who if you have been honest and admitted to the dogs various issues would have no interest in a dog like this other than in dog fighting.

If you rehome your dog this way, you don’t love him.

If a charity won’t rehome, PTS. Best thing for the dog anyway - clearly it’s a complete mess and tbh with a dog like a chihuahua it won’t get any better. Poor thing must be miserable and traumatised.

Don’t get another dog.

Before anything else, start muzzle training immediately. It's essential to get the correct muzzle size to avoid discomfort, and properly condition the dog to accept it. For help with these please find advice on the Muzzle Up, Pup fb page (link below). Yes a small dog seems much less threatening than a large one, but even a kitten could cause significant eye damage from a scratch, and it's not worth any potential injury to your toddler.

Everyone has different ideas of how to define aggression and I personally believe there are only 2 ways a dog is truly aggressive. Either someone has trained them to attack for no reason other than to cause harm, or the dog has a genetic predisposition/neurological issue causing this behaviour. Everything else I believe is reactive behaviour and almost always comes from a place of fear.

I may be totally off because it's impossible to assess from just a few short descriptions but amongst many other things it sounds like your dog never got the exposure needed to build up his own confidence, was probably quite comfortable in his own little safe bubble at home until a screaming baby came along, and has never been able to adjust to the unpredictability of a tiny human. If he's living every day way over threshold this will be extremely stressful and miserable for him. I'm unsure why your vet offered medication unless they believed there was a neurological problem. Training will only help if there is consistency - and by consistency I mean you have to start from scratch, eliminate all triggers and very slowly build up at your dog's own pace. This would be hugely time consuming and require a lot of adaptation which may not be realistic with your family situation. Is your child/environment the main trigger? Keeping them separate may not be enough if he can always hear a noisy toddler and is never able to properly decompress and relax.

I think this is 100% a rehome case and not euthanasia. In the right environment this dog could be completely different. How did you find these potential adopters? It sounds like you have a lot of reservations which might mean already it's not a good fit. As others have said, try to go through a rescue who will do checks to ensure adopters have relevant experience to cope with this behaviour and an environment that would best suit him. He may not necessarily need to be an only dog, it depends on many factors such as the temperament of other dogs and how slowly owners would integrate him into the family.

Chihuahuas are not naturally fiesty, yappy, mean dogs. They have breed characteristics and tendencies like any other but it's the way so many people treat them that often enables and enhances this behaviour. Things like (and I am not implying these are things you've done OP, just generally speaking) picking up and physically removing the dog from situations they don't even get a chance to process themselves and make their own decisions on how to react, or encouraging all sorts of guarding behaviour through praise at the wrong time. They need freedom to explore and express what it is to be a dog and be able to think for themselves, or they end up a ball of anxiety and feel the need to defend themselves from everything.

If you are still considering keeping him or want more advice on rehoming you can find lots of help on the fb group Reactive and Aggressive Dog Support Group (link below) from people who have been in similar situations. I know it would be very difficult to let him go and only you can decide what is right for everybody. I wish you all the best and hope for a happy outcome for everyone 🐾

https://www.facebook.com/groups/muzzleuppup/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1106588519404354/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT

How is your fear aggressive dog going to live in a house with other rescue dogs that presumably have their own issues?

I could have written this. We were in mostly the same situation. Only ours was a rescue we had six months before lockdown hit. She was fine until babies turned into toddlers and we had to manage it in the same way at home. Separate areas, constant vigilance. Until we couldn't anymore. Just be aware the rehoming process takes ages due to cost of living people not taking in animals etc. We worked with a charity and it took them five months to find the right fit. It was the right decision for our family but the guilt hits hard sometimes. Best of luck.

I don't think they'll be using a chihuahua for dog fighting.