AIBU to not want to drop work colleague home most days?

[Supermummy88]

Good evening everyone.

I just need some advice. I started my new job about a year ago and one of my colleague’s who lives in my area needs a lift back home at least 3/4 times a week. It’s not hassle for me because I have to go past her house to get to mine. However, at the end of the working day I’m in a rush to get home as I’ve got very young children who have activities after school etc. However, she always takes her time getting her stuff ready and talking to everyone before we leave. This ends up delaying me by 15/20 mins every time. I know it doesn’t seem like a long time but I have to rush home, get kids ready for their activities etc so that I can get them there on time, so for me 20 mins late makes a big difference. I do sometimes say that I need to leave bang on at a certain time, but she still delays it and is never ready on time. In a way I miss just being able to go home and not waiting for anyone. AIBU? I don’t want to ruin my working relationship with her!

Don't wait, just go! If she wants a lift, she goes when you do!

If you say you need to leave at a certain time make sure you do!

This is actually very rude on the colleagues behalf! If you say you have to leave at a time then if they are not ready then just apologise and say I can't wait, kids are waiting, I'll see you tomorrow!

If you don't mind giving her a lift I'd be honest with her, you need to leave work straight away so if she's not ready to go, you'll have to leave without her.

If you don't want to do lifts just simply say you can't do it any more. I was in this situation and I just said I couldn't do it any more.

Stop waiting for her. Say "I need to leave bang on time because of after school activities. I can't wait for you." If she's not ready when you are, just go without her. Your car, your rules.

What a shame you've just started your new daily goat herding hobby that starts immediately after work.

Spell it out firmly and clearly. I have obligations time wise and if you’re not ready to go when I need to leave, I can’t give you a lift. Meet me at the car at x time, unfortunately I won’t be waiting in future.

This is not working for you.
You have children waiting for you.
She is rude, entitled and disrespectful.
This is not working for you.
You are being used and a mug.
Tell her that you will be leaving on the dot and will not have this discussion again.
Better again tell her you simply are under far too much pressure and do not need this at the end of your working day.
So rude!

you have told her and she is still being inconsiderate and rude. this would really annoy me.
Does she give you petrol money for thr lifts?

say it one more time super clearly “I have to leave at 4 on dot to make sure Timmy makes his football club tonight. I can’t wait if you are late”
and then leave on time.

OMG that would put my lights out!
She is an awful selfish person. She should be glad of the lift and be running to the car.
I would start saying you are not going home and run on yourself. That must be so stressful. Think it is a mum thing in the evenings every bloody minute is important.

Hell no. "I'm going now if you want that lift!" as you walk past where she works on your way to your car. Do not wait for her. Give her one more chance and if she delays you, just say you won't be able to give her a lift again as it's important you leave promptly as you have family commitments after work. If she isn't ready at X time, you cannot wait. She's doing it because you've let her. Once she knows her lift depends on her being ready to go when you are she'll be ready.

I get where you are coming from.

I actually need the drive home to get my head straight and Into gear for family activities, tea etc…

I think you’re going to have to be blunt with her. If you don’t want to say a complete blanket ‘no’ then say

The only day I can do this is a Tuesday. But I must leave at 3:30pm and no later as I have kids commitments. If you’re not in the car I will still have to go!

I have a friend I give lofts to: I tell her straight she needs to jump out when we get there - no talking!!

She’s quite good to be fair.

I would probably tell a little lie and say that the after school clubs are threatening to fine for late pick ups so you have to leave at that time regardless of whether she's ready or not. I am not that great at being assertive though, hence the little lie.

I can’t believe you’ve been waiting for her. Stop, leave the minute you want to and if you’d rather ditch the hassle of wondering whether you’ll have to chivvy an adult along so you can drive her home for free just tell her you can’t give her lifts anymore. You’re more important in your life than she is, your kids are more important than she is. She’s taking the absolute piss!

Is it possible for you to get public transport for a month or so? So you can drop giving her lifts? It is annoying and intrusive and irritating and invasive giving people regular lifts isn't it? It's a real tie.

Even if you are going that way anyway, it's still shit having to keep doing it. There is literally nothing you can do except say you don't want to do it anymore. (Or, as I said, stop going to work in your car...)

Some people have the cheek of the devil - getting regular lifts from someone indefinitely. Sort your own bloody transport. I'm not a fucking taxi!

Just be honest and tell this person you haven't got time to faff about. If they carry on just get off home I'm sure they'll manage. You're not responsible for them getting home.

Is it possible for you to get public transport for a month or so? So you can drop giving her lifts?

Is this a joke?

Fred, I need to be clear. If you want a lift you need to be out of here promptly at 5.01pm with me. If you want to say goodbye & have a chat with people that's fine, but I can't wait around while you're doing it.
I have children to collect from and deliver to activities, I need to feed them and we have to get homework done and kit ready for the next day. My evenings are packed and with nights drawing in I'm not having my kids waiting in the dark for collection because you've spent 20 minutes getting out of the office.

I hope that's clear because I'm not going to nag you - after all you're not one of my children - if you're not ready to go I will leave without you.

Best said Iin front of a couple of witnesses so when you inevitably leave because Fred is nattering others will say that you warned him

Just tell her straight, I need to leave at X time from work, if you’re not ready to leave then you’ll need to make your own way home.

Then five mins before you’re due to leave say (loud enough for everyone in the office to hear!). I’m setting off in 5mins Sue, are you coming now? If she’s not ready literally walk out say, I’m going now like I said, see you tomorrow.

Why are you the one worrying about ruining the working relationship?! She's the one being rude and inconsiderate.
I'd tell her you can't do it anymore, she's had her chance and she ruined it

15-20 mins waiting for her? No! If anyone aaa giving me a lift (and I can’t imagine being comfortable with that weekly let alone multiple times a week), I’ll be ready by exit/ agreed waiting place 5 mins before agreed time so that I don’t inconvenience them any more than already am.

You don’t need to tell lies, offer excuses or give any reason. She wants a favour, those are the terms. There’s nothing unreasonable or unpleasant about saying it like it is.

Just say at lunch that you’ll meet her by the car at 4 (or whenever) and if she’d like a lift to meet you there.

Mary, I'm leaving right now if you want a lift be at my car when I'm leaving.

Then leave without her. She is being so selfish.