To not know whether the school are at fault in how they dealt with my 16 year old and 10 months old very academic but immature Autistic daughter after she acted out due to her disabilties.

[Battlehorse]

DD is an extremely bright 16 year old who obtained 9 grade 9 s at GCSE this year. However, despite being academically very able feel is emotionally immature for Sixth Form. This in no small part due to her autism, meaning at times she can exhibit emotional outbursts that can not be predicted or mitigated for.

The school my daughter attends is a girls grammar school which highlights achievements of its pupils in magazines, newsletters and in the local media . This meaning in August, the school took the obligatory pictures of their high attaining pupils getting their GCSE results and putting the pictures in the September/ October newsletter.

DD who is very unsure of herself or her self worth, viewed the newsletter online.
This caused her huge emotional distress which led to her swearing at the head of Sixth form and running out of school in a state of anguish. The school have told her to stay home until Thursday. DD called me on her phone outside the school premises to pick her up today.

I can't help thinking the school in printing her name and picture and encouraging her to take 4 A Levels have not taken in to account her learning disabilities. This totally against my wishes for her that she takes no more than 3 A Levels and also be allowed three years for her Sixth Form study.

The school have been aware of her Autism diagnosis since she was 13. However, due to her high academic ability she does not have an EHCP, though the school previously have acknowledged they have a duty of care. This being the reason why a unofficial two day stay at home notice has been given, rather than as a potential suspension sanction against her.

She may not get a foot into any employment door whether that be in professional or menial workplace. This being the reality of living with Autism as a disability whether that be Low or High Function forms.
Hence, the reason why over 90% of those deemed High Functioning over an IQ of 70 (many of these people having IQ's of 120 and above) are locked out of the jobs market or working part time in menial jobs far below their abilities.

This is a topic for another day,
Ask my daughter on a different day, she might have stated a desire to be a Fireman.

I know heaps of people with autism who work. But all of them were raised to know that certain behaviours were unacceptable. DH and I both have autism and have been successful professionally (albeit in supportive work places). Don't write her off, but equally don't indulge her. If she is capable of getting 9 x9 at GCSE then she is more than capable of learning basic behaviour rules (eg not swearing).

You need to help her manage emotions and build resilience OP. I would suggest you are her first port of call for now if she is upset about something so that you can hopefully talk her down. This is how I would handle it with mine with ASD.

She is very upset about her photo and name being advertised - that is not unreasonable even if she gave permission at the time because for one she didn't know what the photo would look like. I understand her upset if she has low self esteem and/or thinks the photo is awful.
The photo has already been published but lots of people don't bother reading emails or school newsletters so the chances are most people haven't seen it or didn't even take any notice of it.
It is not acceptable to swear at someone, but huge guilt and shame about it aren't helpful either. Next time she needs to phone you if possible before tackling something very upsetting by herself so you can discuss how to handle it together.
She needs to think about what she wants to happen - would she like her picture removed? It is not unreasonable to ask the school to remove the picture.

It is not reasonable for the school to force her to do 4 A-levels. She should be allowed to drop Chemistry if that is what she wants. If they don't allow that then her options are to disengage with chem and concentrate on her other subjects or to leave the school. She can disengage with chemistry, and then drop it at the end of the year. She will not need to wait till 20 to go to uni and she needs to do her A-levels in the normal time frame. Taking a year out after them is a good idea though and choosing a uni that is nearby would also be a sensible choice.

My biggest concern is what has been going on for your dd in the last 2 weeks? It sounds like she might be struggling with the jump from GCSE's to A-levels? Missing the nuance in Eng Lit when you have ASD is not surprising and I wonder if Eng Lang might be a better choice for her?

This isn’t about my daughter- I don’t have a daughter.

My son will melt down in anyone’s presence- big burly man or not. That’s the point, he can’t control it. If he is melting down and you try and interfere with him in any way he will scream and run away- into roads or anything. He knows cars=run over=bad but it isn’t within his control.

But is your ds being verbally abusive @needleprick? Also his needs sound different if he is unable to keep himself safe re risk of running into traffic.

If the school policy is for students to take 4 A levels then why on earth choose a grammar school? This set up sounds highly unusual, the vast majority of schools do 3. It's strange to pick a school and then complain about very specific requirements of that school.

It sounds like a difficult situation for the OP and the later posts sound more reasonable and understanding of the wider issues. But the bottom line is: no one should have to tolerate being sworn at by anyone else whatever their particular neurodiversity.

And no one can be a mind reader and predict an emotional reaction from a young person which they and their own parent can't predict.

It's also rather tiresome when a few people try to shut down others' views with 'oh you've obviously got no experience of autism.' You have no clue what experience others have, in their personal or professional life. I have plenty of experience and I also take employee well being extremely seriously and no employee should have to tolerate verbal aggression. Just because a few individuals are cool with it, does not make it ok .

Right, it turns out serious safe guarding issues have been raised with regards to the go home until Thursday notice from the now on a disciplinary Head of Sixth Form.
He also exacerbated what actually happened in his office admitting to the Head that DD had not actually personally swore at him but after she left his office. The Head nor DD's form tutor had no idea that she was not on the premises today and was therefore illegally removed from classes . The Head of Sixth Form had actually informed nobody or even written anything done. Thus, the Head is absolutely appalled with what happened yesterday.

It also appears that the newly installed Head of Sixth form had took it upon himself to remove significant amounts of DD support that she has had from year 7. This facilitating in the last 10 days or do a dramatic drop school work and emotional behavior. For obvious reasons cannot go into details anymore.

The school do get extra funding for DD and as the Head noted have a significant duty of care towards her . The school and governors acknowledge the needs of my DD means a three year Sixth Form study period is appropriate. However, this means perhaps bringing in a FE College to undergo a Level 3 course relevant to Journalism alongside 4 A Levels, This being because the Head believes DD should take 2 A Levels at the end of Year 13. The use of Year 14 (which has been funded in exceptional circumstances before ) could be used for the other two or at least be available for potential pitfalls in Year 13.

The Head of Sixth Form had made no notes about DD's absence or stay at home order.

I am a bit emotional hence the mistakes...

Sounds a right mess OP and your DD has very much been let down.

I still question the wisdom of 4 A levels plus a level 3 even if it is over 3 years. Will she still be studying alongside her peers and learning the content in the first two years?

Indeed.

It's a total mystery why there is a teacher retention crisis

Your DD doesn't have an EHCP but the school do get extra funding for her? How does that work?

This sounds madness OP. 4 A levels and a random college course on top of this just to fill 3 years (which will be funding and Guided Learning Hours related not child focused at all).

Surely you should be pushing for just the standard 3 A levels as part of a provision for her needs?? From what you tell us about your DD, I cannot see how adding another BTec type course will be helpful to her .

I teach some who claims they are doing a 3 year A level route. It's not working out. They keep taking English, dropping it, taking it and, frankly, faffing.

We should count the number of times that the schools' signifcant duty of care is mentioned compared to her moral and ethical duty to ensure that her daugther treats the teachers with the respect they deserve.

ps there is NO WAY you would be told the HOSF is 'on disciplinary'.

I find it strange that you perceive that your daughter has the maturity of an 8 year old yet shes able to select a very specific career path that would require a huge amount of interpersonal sophistication to do well and is being supported to go down that route

Agreed, it would be a huge breach of confidentiality

It clearly sounds a dreadful school with all the updates....

The school have acted correctly and reasonably. Your daughter does not have learning disabiiities. You might want to look up what a learning disability actually is. There’s a big difference between a learning difficulty and a learning disability.

I think your daughter has the right to choose her A-levels… then 3 A levels is enough. However has the school agreed over 3 years?

Autism is no excuse for her swearing at the teacher. She is lucky to have 2 days off non sanctioned. She should apologise and understand that’s it’s not acceptable

How is it better to swear about the teacher outside of his office? If I did this with my boss, I'd probably lose my job. Stop making excuses OP and support your dd by making sure she is not over stretched and knows that actions have consequences.

The extra course is being added because students need to go a certain number of Guided Learning Hours for schools to get funding. This is nothing to do wit the DD's needs. The simplest route is 3 A levels in two years and then a year out before uni.

I know , it really paints a different picture doesn't it ...