To not know whether the school are at fault in how they dealt with my 16 year old and 10 months old very academic but immature Autistic daughter after she acted out due to her disabilties.

[Battlehorse]

DD is an extremely bright 16 year old who obtained 9 grade 9 s at GCSE this year. However, despite being academically very able feel is emotionally immature for Sixth Form. This in no small part due to her autism, meaning at times she can exhibit emotional outbursts that can not be predicted or mitigated for.

The school my daughter attends is a girls grammar school which highlights achievements of its pupils in magazines, newsletters and in the local media . This meaning in August, the school took the obligatory pictures of their high attaining pupils getting their GCSE results and putting the pictures in the September/ October newsletter.

DD who is very unsure of herself or her self worth, viewed the newsletter online.
This caused her huge emotional distress which led to her swearing at the head of Sixth form and running out of school in a state of anguish. The school have told her to stay home until Thursday. DD called me on her phone outside the school premises to pick her up today.

I can't help thinking the school in printing her name and picture and encouraging her to take 4 A Levels have not taken in to account her learning disabilities. This totally against my wishes for her that she takes no more than 3 A Levels and also be allowed three years for her Sixth Form study.

The school have been aware of her Autism diagnosis since she was 13. However, due to her high academic ability she does not have an EHCP, though the school previously have acknowledged they have a duty of care. This being the reason why a unofficial two day stay at home notice has been given, rather than as a potential suspension sanction against her.

YABVU
And you aren't even answering questions, nor responding to posts. Many posters have lots of ASD awareness. What exactly is it that you want OP? To just sound off, suggestions?
Swearing at staff is not ok, have you talked to dd about her photo in the newsletter. The whole A'level's over 3 years seems unnecessary. Have you spoken to her HoY and Senco about moving this forward?

Op:

"when the photograph was taken in August at results day she was fine with it and in a other world. She probably would not have given it a thought to whether it would be published at times, she lives in the minute at times. Obviously has she gets older and more experienced with life, coping skills will be acquired which will enable her to deal better with issues, "

No. She's 17, in year 11. They mature a little in those 2 A'level years. Before say Uni.

But she can learn to drive, get a job, be thinking about uni. Op is babying her. She swore at staff, lives in the minute, but she has years???? To learn social skills and coping mechanisms ?

No she doesn't, she doesn't have that long, this won't be tolerated in the workplace or at uni. She needs to mature quickly, learn skills and coping strategies. Are you autistic yourself OP? What have you put in place to help her, learn these things quickly?

That's a massive generalisation. There are plenty of autistic people who DO understand consequences. I am one of them.

OP has anything like this ever happened before? What are you particularly worried about with the jump to A levels? I thrived at A level because I was doing the subjects I loved and the study was more in depth..

OP you’re not going to get a hugely helpful response here. You need to speak to an SEN advocate who can help you to navigate your daughter’s rights in school given her disability.

Sending her home for two days without any formal process isn’t legal and won’t help her in the long run.

Please contact SEN SOS or similar.

the OP’s daughter could be mentally 8
Someone with learning disabilities that made them mentally 8 would not be studying A levels.

Autistic children don’t respond to “consequences”
Not true. Some children with learning disabilities don’t understand consequences. But this isn’t a characteristic of autism.

Autism also causes children to be cognitively and emotionally behind their peers, usually substantially
What a load of nonsense people are posting on this thread. Autism doesn’t necessarily affect intelligence. Lots of autistic people have normal or superior intelligence.

OP I have autism and it doesn’t mean you can go around verbally abusing people. You need to assist your daughter in learning to manage her emotions and behaviours otherwise she’ll struggle to have a normal life. The world outside school isn’t going to adapt to her (beyond “reasonable adjustments” and sometimes not even that). She needs to learn coping strategies. This sort of behaviour won’t be tolerated in the workplace, so even if she achieves a degree she won’t be able to keep a job unless she can learn to behave appropriately. If her disability means she can’t behave appropriately then fair enough, but that will impact upon her life and her options.

Expecting schools to make reasonable adjustments is one thing, but it doesn’t mean bad behaviour should be ignored/ excused. In the real world, people cannot use autism an excuse for unacceptable / illegal behaviour. A young man we carefully nurtured at a school I worked in, was arrested for assaulting a police officer when he refused to leave a burger bar( which was closing and wouldn’t serve him). The police didn’t have to make adjustments for him, yet in school we’d run rings around giving him the benefit of the doubt, time out, places to cool down etc. I wonder why we bothered as he wasn’t learning how to cope in the real world.

I get that, op, it was explained to me a good many years ago that having learning difficulties means just that, difficulty in learning, for any reason. It doesn't automatically indicate a low IQ, a conclusion most people jump to.

it is possible if she studies for 2 subjects year 1, adds in a third the following year but only has to sit two exams and then only has one subject and one set of exams in year 3.

takes the pressure off somewhat

You say she's "over remorseful". I'd suggest maybe she's appropriately remorseful, and you're the one who's minimising.

She swore at a teacher. Actions have consequences. It's not like she's been permanently excluded. This gives her a chance to regulate and reset. The school should do a positive back to school meeting with her, then you all move forwards.

I wonder why we bothered as he wasn’t learning how to cope in the real world
I saw this a lot when I worked in education. Pupils repeatedly got away with behaviour that wouldn’t be tolerated outside of school. Then they ended up being ostracised, unemployed or even put in jail because they’d never been taught to behave appropriately.

I see this too.

No wonder teachers leave.

She may be 'overly remorseful' due to her autism - but if she wants to be taking A levels in a mainstream school (and presumably then go on to university/ a career) then she needs to learn appropriate responses. It's no help to the teacher that the dd is now desperately unhappy that she swore at them. No one should be disrespected like this.

And yes like many others on this thread, I have experience of working with young people with autistim and other challenges: it's a cheap shot to just tell those of us who are saying the dd's behaviour was unacceptable and that time out from
School is appropriate, just don't understand autism. We do. We also know it's not an excuse to treat others badly. Besides, if the dd is overwhelmed and now feeling an over the top emotion of remorse, she probably needs time to decompress and regroup so time off school is likely meeting her needs

Surely they asked permission???

plus full name?

this sounds weird

Regarding the swearing - she misbehaved. She apologised. School might sanction

has this really never happened before ?

And school I think is acting unlawfully. She should be suspended - not given time off.

Probably don’t want if logged on league tables

There are a bunch of complaints in your post, most of which don't seem to be particularly connected and you aren't particularly clear on.

Unless you or your DD never consented to her image to being posted or have made an explicit request not to post her pictures, the school was utterly blameless in treating her like the other high-achievers. You can't expect the school to anticipate your DD's upset when neither you nor her were able to. Do you really want them to exclude her from positive things alongside her peers on the off chance that it sets her off unexpectedly days later?

Academically it sounds like she's very strong. While there are certainly programs for students to do A levels over 3 years when appropriate, that is not a reasonable accomodation at a grammar school. And 4 A-levels is perfectly reasonable given her GCSEs unless she has been opposed to it or she starts struggling. It's possible for her to drop a subject but she can't just pick up a new one if she doesn't start struggling as you seem to expect.

Asking her to stay home is a sticky subject and I'm no expert on the rules around exclusions post-GCSE so I won't opine on that. But it does sound like they're trying to make an allowance for her autism by not formally disciplining her while also not just ignoring behavior that shouldn't be ignored. As usual this thread is full of the two extremes, either completely ignoring the role of autism in emotional control or saying silly things like "autistic children can't associate what they've done with the consequences." The truth lies somewhere in the middle, so if you think a different consequence is more appropriate, suggest it. Either way I would focus your energy on working with your DD on what to do instead the next time she's angry, and work with the school to put a plan in place if needed.

4th paragraph

Amazing how people are quick to jump in without even bothering to read the OP! The OP clearly uses the term 'learning disabilities'

OP it may not be possible for her to take 3 years because schools aren't allowed or insured to have anyone over 19 on roll. They may be able to claim an exemption but it may not be granted so you need to seek clarification on this.

I think it's important for there to be consequences for bad behaviour, even if there are mitigating circumstances for that behaviour. Otherwise children learn that they will be accommodated for acting out, when in the real world, acting out is going to severely limit their opportunities, relationships and general progress.
However, I think that from now on you should clarify with the school that photos of your child are not to be published without express prior consent from you and your daughter.

That might work, but has increased potential for timetable clashes as the year 12 and year 13 schedules won't necessarily be compatible. Also if any of the subjects require field trips or residentials of some sort, then make sure she starts those first, as they sometimes get scheduled in exam season, as staff with exam classes have less teaching load then so need less cover.

I work in a college and have taught two students who sat their A-Levels over three years. They both had an EHCP though, which I think was needed to arrange the funding. I don’t think the college would have agreed without this in place as they wouldn’t have been able to sort funding for the third year. They studied two subjects the first year and then added on a third subject in year 2. So it definitely is possible, although I imagine it might be easier to arrange at a college than a school sixth form.

What is the school actually registered with the DfE for? It's not as simple as just saying 'I want her to spend 3 years on her A levels', the school is likely registered for 11-18. It may be possible for another year but may require permission from above the school itself, there may be funding implications, and I still don't see how the logistics would work. Unless she's simply repeating a year somewhere along the line, for some subjects, it would require a bespoke, perhaps 1:1 teaching arrangement.

Quite frankly the OP seems to be full of demands about what the school 'should' be doing (even somehow expecting them to predict an emotional response in the dd that the OP and dd couldn't themselves) and wanting a complete restructuring of A levels which is not a reasonable adjustment.

And I'd bet good money that if the school had turned round and refused the dd taking the 4 A levels she wishes to, and insisted she stick at 3, the OP would be on here complaining that the school were blocking the dd from achieving her aspirations!

You just can't win with some people.

Did you give consent for her picture to be taken and published? We have to fill out consent forms at the beginning of each academic year; I thought all schools have to have these.

OP you have said some things in later posts that imply you also have autism, is that right?

It seems like you are struggling to navigate this transition as much as your child.

I think it's time to engage with the school to discuss support and a plan for your child if she is to stay in that setting. They will have supported her/you more in the five years of compulsory schooling to GCSEs. Sixth form is different and it needs to be the right place for her.