Why is mumsnet so sexist?

[Lovefromjuliaxo]

Been on here a few months, and while it’s nice to see women sticking up for woman, it’s crazy how sexist some people are on here. I’ve seen threads telling a women to leave her partners name off the BC as revenge because he’s cheated, I’ve seen posts saying “not surprised about huw Edward’s, no men can control themselves” and other numerous anti male threads and posts.

im a female for reference.

curious to see peoples opinions

YABU- it’s not constantly sexist on here
YANBU- it is constantly sexist on here

Edited to quote

Ive been reading here for years. People saying “all men are like this” are so rare in my experience, so I’m not sure where you’re seeing this.

@Fluufer but some women can be bitchy though can't they? I'm not the one pretending to be outraged at that just because I'm a woman and you might be right when you say that men don't get called bitchy for voicing an opinion, I call them cunts. I think my point was that when a woman calls another woman a "cool girl" or a "pick me" that is a woman trying to shut another woman up by insinuating they are defending men so the men will like her all while saying that it's men trying to constantly shut women up. I can also be incredibly bitchy btw and I will not deny that but I'm not sat here pretending I'm perfect. I also realise it's a lot easier to come across as bitchy or nasty when it's online and that doesn't necessarily reflect what anyone is like in real life

Women on here talk about the personal experiences and feelings about men's abuse of women which is reported on the news every day.

EVERY DAY.

That is not sexist. It's just the truth.
Even my 15yr old DD sees it.

And here you are, calling out other women for having the temerity to have views and opinions on it.

The term bitchy is sexist. You're not using the quote function, so I can't be bothered to go back and find exactly what you said in the first place, but I was not disputing the fact that women can be mean. Calling women "bitchy" is sexism - you can't tell other women to be nice whilst in the same breath using a misogynistic slur.

Isn’t it mind boggling when you realise that nearly all crime is committed by men?
It's 75%. Its the majority but I wouldn't call it nearly all.

There is also more to men than crime. Why dies every time sexism is mentioned, it comes down to crime. I would highly hope that a large minority of mners have not been the victim of a crime.

We also have to remember than men are more likely to be victims of crime (by other men) than women.

But women are bitchy and calling other women pick me's is the height of bitchyness because I agree it's just a derogatory term used to shut other women up because you don't agree with them.

Because 1 in 4 women are affected by domestic abuse and 1 in 3 by sexual violence. Crime stats depend on the nature of the crime. Men are responsible for the vast majority of violent crime including rape and homicide.

@Fluufer I'm not telling other women to be nice lol I don't give a fuck about what some women want to call other woman I was pointing out that on here some posters say that it only comes from men and it's a way for men to shut women up while completely ignoring the fact that by them calling another woman a "cool girl" is just another way to shut a woman up and make her feel like she is betraying her sex and is only defending a man because she wants his attention and wants to ride his dick. Sorry for not quoting, it won't let me quote you if you have quoted me in your reply

Just click quote. It's not hard, then we can actually see what you're responding to.

Why are women "bitchy"? Do you know the actual meaning of the word? And I wouldn't use "pick me" or similar either. Both are sexist terms. Which was my point, and which would be clear if you could see the post I was responding to.

I can't tell you why women are bitchy but my guess would be that it's part of the men hurt eachother with violence and women hurt eachother with words thing because we are the less physical sex.

It is unfortunately true though that women snipe at eachother and put eachother down in really nasty and cruel ways using only words and this behaviour is not often observed with men, which is why it is referred to as bitchyness, because it's a female behaviour. Obviously bitch comes from female dog which is why it is a derogatory term for a female.

It seems like you're eager to tell me there's a true definition of bitchyness that I have never heard of but that is the general social understanding and use of the term.

I didn't see the post you were referring to because there are pages and pages of posts and you didn't quote, I was simply agreeing with @Ihopeithinkiknow that bitchyness is a thing and it has been rife on this thread as has accusations on being a pickme.

It's this kind of behaviour that makes women not want to hang around in female only spaces. And women can't be vile to eachother then expect to not be called bitchy because it's just not cricket.

It's not true that all women snipe at each other and are 'bitchy'. That's a gender stereotype. You're simply parroting misogynist crap because you're not a critical thinker.

A critical thinker wouldn't make sweeping generalisations in a misogynist society without questioning why they think that way. They'd also think about unconscious bias and confirmation bias.

I've met plenty of men who make snide remarks and put other people down. I've met plenty of women who don't behave that way.

Oh I think men hurt with words just as often as women do. They use violence as well, not instead. But they don't often get called "bitches" do they?

Given the epidemic of violence against women and girls, I don't really care about hurty feelings some men may have a result of women talking about it.

As Reddit is a hotbed of woman hate. Which allows literal rape subreddits but not gender critical stuff, the more I really detest people trying to suggest women are just as bad.

You're very naive @Smurf1993 Do you think all the young boys who are bullied because they've got the wrong trainers, haircut, are socially awkward or bad at sport, or gay..do you think that the other boys just walk straight up and give them a kicking without so much as an insult? Ever heard of banter? The way men verbally attack each other disguised as humour? Ever heard men moaning about their boss or their wives to each other? Ever read a thread where some poor woman's partner has destroyed her self esteem with his comments about her weight? Ever been out walking and heard men shout verbal insults at women or men they percieve as weaker/inferior/weird from their vans? Men absolutely inflict physical hurt on each other and on women, but its not instead of the verbal attacks, its as well.

Thanks for the insults. I'm a scientist, I think critically for a living.

Think what you want I really don't care but I don't see the level of nastiness seen in women only spaces happening in mixed sex spaces or between men out in the world.

My lived experience is that many women are extremely nasty in a covert spiteful way than men typically are not. Of course men do and say mean things, but I don't see them sneer at eachother the way women do, I see them fight and move on mostly.

To acknowledge differences in males and females behaviour is not sexism.

@Fluufer I told you it won't let me quote a post with a quote already on it and I already know what I'm responding to lol I'm responding to you and what you have said so why do I need to quote what you have said because surely you already know what you have said.

A huge number of male suicides are also in prison..... & why are they in prison in the first place? Yes, violence. They're their own worst enemies.

No, they would get called a dickhead or something which is usually used to insult men instead of women.

There are plenty of male specific insults for typical male behaviour so I don't see your point.

That behaviour is not bitchy, it is abuse which is totally different.

I never said men aren't bullies are abusers, I said they tend to be less bitchy.

You've never heard of 'banter' or bullying between men which consists of name calling and belittling comments? You've never heard of emotional abuse, of a woman's self esteem and confidence being destroyed by a man? You've never heard of street harassment where women are called names and subjected to animal noises or criticised for their looks? You've obviously never been bullied by a man.

You've only experienced women being snide and spiteful and all men being kind and courteous. That snide, spiteful behaviour would include you obviously as you're female, right? There are no exceptions to your observations.

I could put with men’s lack of self control in debating and immaturity, if it stopped there. Unfortunately it doesn’t.

98% of adults arrested for sexual offences are men.

Would that we lived in a world where women and girls did not fear men. A world where we were confident that our daughters (and sons) were not in danger of being attacked by a man.

Everyone else is doing it, so perhaps reach out to MN. It makes the conversation very hard to follow. Or copy and paste.

Why is name calling different for men?