Why is mumsnet so sexist?

[Lovefromjuliaxo]

Been on here a few months, and while it’s nice to see women sticking up for woman, it’s crazy how sexist some people are on here. I’ve seen threads telling a women to leave her partners name off the BC as revenge because he’s cheated, I’ve seen posts saying “not surprised about huw Edward’s, no men can control themselves” and other numerous anti male threads and posts.

im a female for reference.

curious to see peoples opinions

YABU- it’s not constantly sexist on here
YANBU- it is constantly sexist on here

You think it's sexist here? Have you seen the rest of the internet where women are routinely threatened with rape and murder?

Rules of Misogyny:

12. Women’s ability to recognize male behavior patterns is misandry.

Can you link. I've not seen anyone say those things

Oh, and probably the first 3 as well:

1. Women are responsible for what men do.

2. Women saying no to men is a hate crime.

3. Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.

edited to fix formatting

By ‘sexist’ do you mean why women call out misogyny?

Maybe the fact that 97% of murderers are men.

Come back when the majority of murderers are women and maybe we’ll take you seriously, JULIA.

I think you need to frame it that society is fundamentally sexist - against women. We are 2nd class citizens, in a patriarchal society.

Women are aware that the game doesn’t look like it’s going to change any time soon, so how do you play with the systems and rules established by men.

People type stuff from their own experience. If they've been let down a few times then it's going to come out in their posts. It's a safe space to vent, and there's a lot of generalising. I don't think the posters who write "men are bastards" or similar really believe that ALL men are; they're just sympathising with what another poster has written about their own shitty experience with a man.

Yep, when Tatiana Spitzner was murdered by her husband, men on UK chat forums were debating whether she had cheated on him which would have justified her murder.

www.hrw.org/news/2018/08/16/trail-broken-promises-brazils-women

Congrats bet ya a really cool girlfriend who just clicks better with men ain’t ya 🙄

I was on a thread the other day where the OP was unhappy at the family’s relocation abroad. One poster said she should just take the kids and come back to the UK, otherwise known as kidnap. When I and others pointed this out and imagined the outrage if it was a man posting the same thing, was asked “What do I suggest?”. Well, not a crime that is punishable by a few years in prison. Just because the OP is a woman doesn’t make her right/absolve any criminality.

Isn't every poster just giving their own opinion based on their own experience?

“not surprised about huw Edward’s, no men can control themselves”

Have you read about Dominique Pelicot’s trial and how easy it was for him to find over 50 men in the local area to rape drugged wife?
This may just give us a glimpse of how easy it is for many men to commit such crimes when give the opportunity or seemingly given “permission”, in this case by the husband of the victim.
Whilst I do not for one minute believe my DH/DB/DS would ever ever ever do something against women or girls, I am sure the same was true about Giselle Pelicot and her children.

I think given some of the threads on here which describe absolutely horrendous treatment of women by men, and also the way women are treated in society, a lot of the vilefication of men is justified.

But I agree with you that some of the hatred directed indiscriminately at ALL men is unjustified.

Similarly I don't agree that ALL women behave well. And the excusing of some behaviours just because someone is a woman is just as bad as the vilification of ALL men.

"I’ve seen threads telling a women to leave her partners name off the BC as revenge because he’s cheated"

Have you? Really? Or was that the thread where the guy wants to fuck off abroad and has shown he's a devious cunt so its absolutely logical to not have his name on the BC?

Women noticing that the majority of violence and sexual assault is carried out by men isn’t sexist.

Famous men being found out to be pedos, abusers, cheats and general arseholes is no longer surprising. That isn’t sexist. That’s basic pattern recognition skills.

Obviosuly not ‘your Nigel’ but men as a class are not covering themselves in glory at the moment. Whether it was always thus and our modern society is just shining a light on it, I have no idea. I like to think my granddad’s generation had more class tbh, but their life experiences will have shaped their attitudes too.

Ahh those poor ickle menz
bless

And anyone saying "no man can help themselves" get pulled up on that so stop chatting absolute nonsense.

As for leaving a man off the BC, this is generally suggested when a man is abusive and likely to use his parental responsibility to manipulate the OP via their child. Giving the child the man’s surname when you’re not married is just stupid, why give him that honour?

And naming him as the father when you don’t trust him not to abuse that right is even more stupid.

a women to leave her partners name off the BC as revenge because he’s cheated

And you think that's solely due to the fact that the partner is male?
Can you think of any other reason why someone might suggest this?

Saying 'all men are like this' is obviously sexist, but also obviously an over-generalisation. And while not all males offend sexually, 98% of sexual offenders are male, so there is a HUGE correlation here between being male and being a risk for sex offences.

I'm surprised you think giving one example of a post means that an entire forum of millions of people is 'sexist'. Do you think that, too, might be an over-generalisation?

Well women don’t usually kill, rape, threaten, intimidate, stalk etc…or generally behave like massively entitled dickheads.

So if it quacks like a duck…

Id suggest maybe MN isn’t the place for you if calling out misogyny and the general shit women suffer at the hands of men upsets you “Julia” - maybe try Reddit.

I wish I had a pound for every time someone (probably a man) says, "well would you say that if the sexes were reversed?" and actually thinks they are making a reasonable point.

The fact is that in a patriarchal society men have been taught they can behave far worse than women, and often get away with it.

Men commit around 99% of all sex crimes and the vast majority of violent crimes. Obviously not all men are bad guys, but there have been studies that show a frightening number of men would commit rape if they thought they would get away with it.

Of course women are going to talk about these things on a site aimed mainly at women. That's not sexist, it's just facing up to reality.

I’ve seen threads telling a women to leave her partners name off the BC as revenge because he’s cheated,
I think you have misunderstood. It is fuck all to do with revenge and everything to do with not having someone who doesn't care about you having control over where you live, or if you can go abroad, etc. These are life changing decisions which you are handing over to someone who doesn't even like you.

I see threads all the time on here saying all, ALL men are bastards, not a single good one out there. Mmmmhmmm. Riddled with anti men posts. Oh wheres the evidence to back up my ludicrous claim? It's here <gestures to bollock-all>

No

I’m on Reddit too.