Why is mumsnet so sexist?

[Lovefromjuliaxo]

Been on here a few months, and while it’s nice to see women sticking up for woman, it’s crazy how sexist some people are on here. I’ve seen threads telling a women to leave her partners name off the BC as revenge because he’s cheated, I’ve seen posts saying “not surprised about huw Edward’s, no men can control themselves” and other numerous anti male threads and posts.

im a female for reference.

curious to see peoples opinions

YABU- it’s not constantly sexist on here
YANBU- it is constantly sexist on here

The birth certificate advice is very sensible. Especially where there is doubt over the father's commitment, babies should have the same name as their mother. She is the one who is likely to stick around and do the lion's share of the care. It's often easier to have the same surname. Saying this isn't sexist, it's what is statistically most likely to happen.

In any case, in most committed relationships even where the parents are not married or don't share a name, the mother will usually agree either to give the baby the father's name or hyphenate both their names.

In the cases where a new or prospective mother is uncertain and asks on here for advice, it's usually a battle of hope again experience. The father has proved himself completely useless/selfish/abusive but she is clinging to hope that by having him on the birth certificate/giving the baby his name, the father will be encouraged to play an active part in his child's life. And why not? It's quite a burden to come to terms with having a new, precious baby who you adore and who is your life and knowing that in reality their other parent doesn't give a shit. Whereas the voices of experience on here are saying, look, think 5 years down the line, when he's fucked off for good and you can't remember what he looks like, do you want your child to have his name and for it to be a constant presence in your family life? You can always change names later or he can apply for PR if actually he does stay involved and make a positive contribution.

Mumsnet reflects what so many women here and their children have suffered at the hands of men.

Not sexism - reportage.

Women are more likely to be suicidal and depressed. As pp said, men choose a more violent way to die and are so more successful a lot of the time.

I don't think I have EVER seen a post on male suicide where women have posted 'what about the women' though? Can you say the same when ANYTHING is posted about women?

We've had 'menz' on this thread.

In regards to the latter, more than 40% of the killers in these crimes were mothers, with fathers making up about 57% of those who killed their own offspring, so much more equal.
You need to break it down further. Men tend to do it when they are already abusing the family in some way, women do it when their mental health is shot and unmanaged, even if they've tried to access help. Back to male violence again.

leave her partners name off the BC as revenge

You've made that up. Because you're the sexist one.

I always laugh at the idea that it’s ‘hate’ to leave a man off a birth certificate, like a woman not just handing him what he wants and him having to sort it out himself, is some kind of world ending horror.

pro woman is not anti men.

That can be understandable in the first instance, yet the sort of threads we see frequently also contain an OP who plainly tells posters, multiple times, that they have made an incorrect assumption and that is not what they are seeking help with. The tone of the replies is battering the OP with 'knowledge' they are 'certain' of, and often the OP, having repeatedly defended her own reality as the person who actually knows her partner and her life in context, is told she is wrong or simply ignored – all so posters can get their own voices and biases heard. It's highly demeaning to the OP when not only is the evidence not there, but the OP is confirming that the evidence is not there or any evidence has been misinterpreted.

These are the problematic threads, and they do absolutely nothing to help the woman in question.

I think MN is often pretty anti men, but I suppose it’s one of the few places where women can express their views without being shouted down by men.

That said, I find the double standards irritating. A frequent one is that if a woman gains loads of weight then her husband should still fancy her, and if he doesn’t then he’s a bad unworthy person. But if a man gains weight and his wife doesn’t fancy him any more , she should leave him because he’s a fat slob. I’ve seen that one time and again.

It's pretty sexist to take one or two posts you don't agree with and label all women the same because of them.

Try harder next time.

I bet Julia is racking up a lot of cool girl points over on Reddit with this 🥹

@Feedable I am not familiar with the rest of the internet so I can't comment.

Wow, are you in for a treat. I'm sorry you haven't been able to fully experience the world wide web. Is this due to browser difficulties or parental controls?

Once you find your way off Mumsnet, you'll find that pretty much the entire rest of the internet is full of men threatening women with rape and murder. If you're uncomfortable being here, on one of the few sites where that doesn't happen, you have almost unlimited possibilities to find a place more suited to your temperament. Don't waste any more time!

"Yes, A LOT of women on here just hate all men purely because they are men."

That really is bollocks. Mumsnet is full of women bending over backwards to justify men's appalling behaviour.

"double standards" can only exist in an individual or in a defined group. You can't accuse thousands of random posters on a forum of double standards because some have one opinion and others have another!

👏👏👏👏

@ DickEmeryYou may not intend to but your post comes across as trying to chase away from MN a poster who does not agree with you. Are you trying to do that ?(because it breaks talk guidelines if you are).
MN is a broad church and embraces posters regardless of their sex, marital status and number of children ( or lack of them)

Do the double standards the other way also annoy you just as much? Like a man who does a tiny amount of parenting, being described as a good dad, when the same would never be said about a mother? Be honest with yourself, and if it does why do you only mention the double standards against men?

So you’re on Reddit too, yet it’s Mumsnet you complain about as sexist?
😂🤣🤣😂🤣 😞

Clearly you think “sexism” against men is the only type that’s objectionable.

Oh bless your sensitive little heart @Feedable , of course not. I just feel so sorry for anyone who doesn't realise what the internet has to offer. Have you considered a computer literacy course? They can help you with accessing digital content. I know it can be daunting to learn new skills but there's so much more to the internet than mumsnet!

Bit off tangent, but that Reddit used to be a great chat amongst calling out bs (like MRA infiltration). Now it’s all ‘MN hates men and are all TRANSPHOBBBESSS’ over any discourse on women’s rights, blatant inequality and general throwbacks from the patriarchy.

It's not sexist. It's just not male centric, which is apparently the crime of the century for some.

Not surprised to see you being called the "cool girl" or the "pick me" girl for asking a question lol, I am a women and I think women are fucking great but if any woman wonders why we get called bitchy sometimes then just reread most of the posts on here lol. That's not to say that all women are meant to be lovely and polite because I'm definitely not but I don't claim to be sticking up for women while slagging them off at the same time because they don't agree with me.

Some of the subreddits available, I challenge you to find anything this hateful here:

r/Rapekink
r/abusedsluts
r/degradingholes
r/snuffrp
r/slaveauctions
r/ropedancers
r/barelylegal
r/misogynyfetish
r/brokenfucktoys
r/womenintrouble
r/rapeconfessions
r/strugglefucking
r/rektwhores
r/cryingcunts

You are slagging other women off for disagreeing. You just called them "bitchy". Hypocrite.