AIBU to not want to call my daughter’s genitals her vagina?

[BabyEl]

I know, I know, I know….we live in a enlightened age. I know it’s all the rage but vagina just doesn’t sit well with me.

my daughter has started to ask ‘what’s this’ pointing at her ‘bits’ and we need an answer soon!

i know all the arguments, I know “that’s what it’s called!” And “you call an arm an arm” etc but 1) that’s not what it’s called (technically that’s just the inner passage) and 2) when do people really use the word vagina?

do you say “my vagina is a bit sore today” or “oh yeah hubby, my vagina feels so good”

also vulva? No one says that anywhere.

do let’s put those arguments to bed.

secondly, “if you don’t use the real names and god forbid a crime occurs, the case could collapse due to incorrect name use”

I’ve seen this one a lot but I’m sceptical. Is our CPS so dull and dim witted that they will reject a child testimony because she failed to use medical grade terminology? I mean, maybe…? Is there any evidence of this happening?

anyway, I’d don’t like it. I don’t like front bottom, fanny or fufu either. I’m looking for something but not those and not the V word…

am I being unreasonable?

Yabu its not shameful its a body part i have 2 girls we say vagina although my eldest did call it pagina for a while and I didn't always correct her as it was cute

Parents should choose as they wish, and other parents who make a different choice should not get offended.

When I was little it was always referred to as fairy, it's what all the kids in my area said too. Don't ask me why 😂

I was so proud the first time the nursery key worker told me through crimson blushing at handover that there had been a slight mishap with a friend and a piece of play equipment and 3yo Little Jumpstart shouted 'ouch you hit me in my vulva!' So proud 😂

It amazes me that so many Mumsnetters use and teach their children all the correct terms but apparently will flap around like headless chickens if a child uses a word like "privates"

Surely training around safeguarding/disclosure issues deals with 'euphemisms'.

If people responding to a wee girl saying her cookie or flower has been touched by her Uncle may have a problem that's not about daisies or biscuits there's a gap.

We used to call them willy and winnie. DC did know the correct names for them though. Friend then had a baby girl called Winnie - eeek!

Fanny.

While I told all my kids the proper names (and as a single mother of a young boy he was well aware of periods by the age of 4) I used "your/my privates" Personally I feel that it reinforces the message that they are, well, private.

We always referred to our daughters genitals as her vulva since she was tiny. I don't remember having a word when I was younger so had no reference point and that is the proper name so why not just use it?

I must confess it is occasionally referred to as china here after a story about a little friend earnestly advising you mustn’t wear undies to bed as you need to let your china breathe!

I can’t get too worked up over ‘incorrect’ names and struggle with the insistence that this will delay important medical treatment. Surely if you don’t understand what a child means you just ask them to point where it hurts??

We say vulva, I find that it's no longer true that nobody says it but I know my mum wouldn't have said it when I was little. So I think YABU to be so annoyed at what feels like attempts to lose the shame and embarrassment related to saying certain body parts.

my now 35 year old daughter still refers to her vagina as her hoohaa. Her teen daughter does also but they both do it out of fun. They know the name and use it if needed (gyno) I will never forget about 5 years ago my daughter texted both myself and her dad... OMG ..don't know what to do.. Doctor cannot find my coil to remove (her hubby passed his test after vasectomy) MY HOOHAA ATE IT!!!! MA!!! yes my family is strange. She also messaged her brother lol.. ps.. she DOES know the difference between vulva and vagina..she just uses hoohaa for the whole area lol.

Yep 👏
We say 'vulva' in our household.

What a bizarre bizarre post. It’s a vulva. Which is what we call it.

what do you mean ‘no one calls it a vulva’?

so weird

I don't care what anyone says, and I haven't read the thread at all, but 'front bum' and 'back bum' worked for us until they were old enough to understand. They're adults now and it hasn't caused them any harm!

When I was little my mum always called mine a 'Luby' which makes me feel a bit strange, considering I had a teacher in HS called Mr Luby.

My little boy aged 2 refers to his private parts as a Willy. I've always referred to my private parts as a 'Fairy' or 'foofy' to my little boy when hes seen me in the shower and asked me "mummy, wheres your willy?" I don't know why, I just always have. X

The pervasive use of 'vagina' for the entire female groin area (aka vulva) is internalised patiarchy - the focus being on the part of our bodies that provides male gratification and faciliates reproduction

I think we can manage to say vulva

No one i know uses penis, vagina or vulva when speaking to their small children. Literally no one. OP, choose one of the various words people have suggested and it will be fine. YANBU of course.

Also teach your DC about which parts of themselves are just for them and that’s the safeguarding aspect covered while they’re little.

FFS, just call it a vulva, that’s what it is and there’s nothing wrong with the name. Why all the angst? If we all just started calling a spade a spade there would be none of this ‘well, I don’t like the word’ ‘nobody calls it that ‘ (well, they do, because that’s what it’s called. Imagine if we all just went ‘arm? I don’t like that word, let’s call it waggler instead because that sounds better’

Commonly referred to as a 'nunny' where I live, boy's tend to be a willies generally.

Unfortunately the non English oriiginating nanny friend of ours nicknamed the child in her charge Nunny; we had to explain in the local area this was unwise to be calling out in public. She was only aware of fanny and foo foo and not correct terminology. Hence proving it to be be an issue.

Currently at DDs age correct names seem to be considered hilarious, along with the words bum, poo and poo- face which are all a huge joke. School therefore refer to them as 'privates ' which they use to teach and reinforce the ' privates are private' rule.

@Purposefullyporous

😂😂 are your knees & elbows not knees & elbows in your house??

What do your children call their ears & nose?

But as this thread has shown, there are infinite variations and not all are obvious. If a child said their uncle was round at the weekend and they played with her china/luby/fairy, you might just take that at face value. I've never heard those used as euphemisms and wouldn't instantly link them.

😂 nooooo now the song is going around my head

My mom asked me once if I bought a new car because my son told her I had a vulva... Still prefer to use the correct terms and I like the way vulva sounds better than vagina anyway.