AIBU to not want to call my daughter’s genitals her vagina?

[BabyEl]

I know, I know, I know….we live in a enlightened age. I know it’s all the rage but vagina just doesn’t sit well with me.

my daughter has started to ask ‘what’s this’ pointing at her ‘bits’ and we need an answer soon!

i know all the arguments, I know “that’s what it’s called!” And “you call an arm an arm” etc but 1) that’s not what it’s called (technically that’s just the inner passage) and 2) when do people really use the word vagina?

do you say “my vagina is a bit sore today” or “oh yeah hubby, my vagina feels so good”

also vulva? No one says that anywhere.

do let’s put those arguments to bed.

secondly, “if you don’t use the real names and god forbid a crime occurs, the case could collapse due to incorrect name use”

I’ve seen this one a lot but I’m sceptical. Is our CPS so dull and dim witted that they will reject a child testimony because she failed to use medical grade terminology? I mean, maybe…? Is there any evidence of this happening?

anyway, I’d don’t like it. I don’t like front bottom, fanny or fufu either. I’m looking for something but not those and not the V word…

am I being unreasonable?

It’s vulva, not vagina

Yet nobody in real life says this and the op’s dd does have a vagina so it depends which bit she’s pointing at.

we say foof or foofoo and willy for pennis. Fairly standard in our area amongst dc friends.

Yes you are BU but I think a lot of people feel that way. I've always intermittently called referred to my daughter's parts as 'her bits' or her vulva or vagina. She knows the real names for her body parts. Shes six now and will say the same 'her bits' or vagina (but referring to the whole area)

My son equally normally says Willy, but knows it's actually penis and he's only 5

When they are taught this when they go to P1 (in Scotland) they are told it's called a vulva. Lots of girls then go home and tell their parents they have a Volvo. Doesn't answer your question but always makes me laugh

Dd1 has managed very well moving from foofoo as a little girl to vagina in biology class with no difficulty.

Whats wrong with fanny? Tbh if you aren't happy with the 'medical' terms it's probably the closest colloquialism that's on par with 'willy'. I agree 'front bottom' is absolutely ridiculous. I've got boys and I haven't yet gone into detail with this with mine so far I've just said that girls have got different private parts.

See post

Front botty. Back botty.

I used the correct terms with my daughter. Wasn't ever an issue. They're just words 🤷🏻‍♀️

I used vagina and penis from the start with DS. Can't bear the silly names like "foofoo" and "willy" and what other words are there to use really? "Fanny"? Grim.

We use foof for day to day needs, but my kids also know the proper terms too.

All good things should have nicknames. 😁

Or yes as pp said foof is an OK if slightly silly colloquial word. Still teach the medical terms but in every day use most people use slang.

Sorry to disappoint, but I say vulva 🤷🏻‍♀️ my (young) kids do too, just like they say penis and testicles. Although admittedly they do struggle a lot with the word 'testicles', but that's because it's tricky to say when you're little!

What’s the girl version of Willy though?

when I was young it was Fanny, but that just sounds gross now.

Urgghh. This is the worst!

we just used to say privates as children, it’s frustrating that there isn’t a female version of Willy that feels comfortable to say but everything knows what it means

My dd says vulva

We say penis and vagina/vulva. That's what they are.

Eventually, nicknames will happen as they get older I imagine but I think it's important for young children to learn and know the actual names, as it is for any other body part.

Foof then I guess. Or just private parts.
Bum is same for everyone then there's girl private parts and boy private parts.

Vagina is a word. Why wouldn’t you want your child to know it? What’s the issue?

In regards to safeguarding it's examples like a child tells a teacher that someone touched their cookie/flower etc. That doesn't sound like a disclosure of sexual abuse so is likely to be dismissed. If they say vulva or vagina then there's no uncertainty.

Oh this is the worst! It's not a bottom!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be uncomfortable with terms that we weren’t raised with. For me I’m ok with vagina but it’s vulva I can’t do. I know plenty people who do use vulva though. For me vagina refers to the area enough and later on they can break it down more anatomically. DD called it her ‘bagina’ for a long time which was cute!

Anyway, you don’t want to use the word. I think what you want is a female equivalent word of ‘willy’. Commonly used but not some nonsense word like foufou. I don’t think that exists for women. Sometimes I might say ‘your bits’ but to me that means vagina and bum when I’m asking them to wash themselves.

I do know in professional life that words like ‘flower’ can be a barrier to children reporting harm. You may know they call it flower for example but a nursery worker may not and a small child saying something about a flower could be easily bypassed but correct terms draw attention.