AIBU to not want to call my daughter’s genitals her vagina?

[BabyEl]

I know, I know, I know….we live in a enlightened age. I know it’s all the rage but vagina just doesn’t sit well with me.

my daughter has started to ask ‘what’s this’ pointing at her ‘bits’ and we need an answer soon!

i know all the arguments, I know “that’s what it’s called!” And “you call an arm an arm” etc but 1) that’s not what it’s called (technically that’s just the inner passage) and 2) when do people really use the word vagina?

do you say “my vagina is a bit sore today” or “oh yeah hubby, my vagina feels so good”

also vulva? No one says that anywhere.

do let’s put those arguments to bed.

secondly, “if you don’t use the real names and god forbid a crime occurs, the case could collapse due to incorrect name use”

I’ve seen this one a lot but I’m sceptical. Is our CPS so dull and dim witted that they will reject a child testimony because she failed to use medical grade terminology? I mean, maybe…? Is there any evidence of this happening?

anyway, I’d don’t like it. I don’t like front bottom, fanny or fufu either. I’m looking for something but not those and not the V word…

am I being unreasonable?

Abusers typically invent innocuous terms to make it less likely that abuse is uncovered - knowing the correct name reducers the chance of that.

Well this is one of the weirdest, and most questionable, threads I've seen in a long time

Brainstorming names for your very young daughters genitalia on an online forum, and inviting others to do the same.. Does nobody else see how fucking weird this is?

MNHQ what the hell are you allowing on your platform??

Seen quite a few things on here lately that made me wonder if incels wrongens and weirdos have infiltrated MN. This is definitely one of them.

It’s a parenting forum, and this is a legitimate parenting question.

When I was little the term was "gee" as in "Aww my gee" when you are riding a too tall bike with a crossbar or "I'll kick you in the gee if you say that again". It wasn't classy but you have to call it something. Nuts would have been the boy version.

As a child I just used to say my privates or private area.

I've always been brought up calling it privates. My dd 9 calls or her private parts. I think that's obvious to anyone else if she needs help. With my son who is now 11 I've always said willy. Both children know the official names.

YABU. It is basic safeguarding.

The real terms gor our genitals are nothing to be ashamed of and I personally use them for myself. I began using them to make a point when a man started giggling at the word "vulva" and I decided to never stop.

"Pretty" names like foof are ridiculous.

Plenty of people say vulva. We sat vulva. You cannot really be pointing at a vagina, it is inside.

Why are you fixating on needing to read about disturbing SA cases? It's as if you're desperate to prove people wrong rather than just use appropriate terminology for your vulva/vaginally. GROW UP

Sorry but both vagina and vulva are horrible for children to say.
If they say vulva they might as well be saying shit or piss in my opinion, it's the same kind of adult kind of feel.

We call it front bottom. If you don't call it vulva or vagina I think your child will be just fine!!

Also, if you have an issue with the word willy or noony, whatever people call it that's not the "proper" words - why is that??

OP seems to be adopting this faux naïveté that she's never heard of the wrong word being used has caused issues in SA abuse cases and asking for links, I'm not sure this is a genuine post.

You think it's ridiculous to be very concerned or detailed about using accurate words?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Girls have both, and sometimes it is vagina

No. It would be like saying urine or faeces. My issue with using the wrong words are that it is juvenile and instill shame around normal bodies and normal bodily functions. I don’t lie to my kids, and I don’t want to perpetuate misogyny. Front bottom is puerile. You’re a grown up (I assume).

I hate this argument that if enough people use a word incorrectly it becomes correct. It eliminates perfectly good words for things, like "nonplussed", however in this case if you call an entire area of the body "vagina", you miss out on the nuance and knowing the names for all the constituent parts. And you'll never change the meaning of vagina, because it's an anatomical term and we need specific terms for each part of the body.

@ISpyNoPlumPie - my advice to you would be to chill out a little, stop worrying about this and maybe find something else to devote your thoughts to. I'm sure your children are saying the words you don't want them to say in the playground, and they will be just fine..

My username is from fucking Home Alone, but alrighty

How is vulva horrible for children to say? It’s literally what it’s called. My 4.5 year old calls it that, because that’s what it is! Can’t understand why I’d teach her anything else. She also knows I’m growing her sibling in my uterus/womb rather than my tummy - I’m a midwife, you wouldn’t believe the number of women who don’t know their own anatomy aged 30+.

Quite. I've never met a doctor or gynaecologist,male or female who use correct names.

Vulva is what my DC have always used as that's what I've told them it's called 🤷‍♀️

Oh FFS!

No it’s still important in terms of potential disclosures. You might be fully trained, but there are many many people who volunteer or work with children in less intense settings who might not make the connection between a child saying “my minnie” or whatever and that being their genitals.