To allow DS(7) to make his own “breakfast” on the weekends?

[StolenChanel]

Just that really. DS doesn’t like typical “breakfast” meals like cereal, toast or eggs, and enjoys making his own meals. He’ll grab whatever snacks he can find from the cupboard/fridge and make what he calls a “snack platter” (we’re generally quite a healthy family so there aren’t really any sugary snacks for him to grab). This usually consists of things like crackers, breadsticks, fruits, yoghurts, or a cheese string/Babybel. This suits me just fine because I can’t be arsed with the rigmarole of working out what he wants to eat, DS is happy with his snacks and morning cartoons and I am happy to sit outside in peace with my coffee and a crossword.

However, DH works nights and comes home in the morning annoyed that I am sitting down with a coffee but “haven’t bothered to make DS breakfast”. So my question is, is what I’m doing lazy parenting or is DH being fussy?

Can confirm my 7 year old fixes his own breakfast, unless he's having something that requires the grill/stove.

He'll make himself toast, fruit, yogurt with berries on top, cereal with either milk or yogurt, or sometimes a pain au chocolat.

Maybe get in some different mini cheeses and some fancy fruits as a weekend treat?

Otherwise it course he can get his breakfast himself.

This is great! hes being independent and what he is eating is fine, better than a bowl of coco pops! (but thats also fine obvs) I would be impressed if it was me tbh

Sounds perfect. Dd been making her own breakfast since 5 or 6... cereal in bowl and a drink. Great for independence.

I work weekends, my 6 year old doesn't get up till I'm practically ready to leave. She helps herself to brioche, Yogurts, cheese sticks, milk and an apple. Works for us and she loves her picnic style breakfast.

Good for you @StolenChanel, you're not going to have a lazy teen who is incapable of cooking for themselves. You might have one making you gourmet meals on his way to being an excellent chef instead.

7 is more than old enough to be getting their own breakfast, especially as mostly that would be cereal.

I think it's fine as a weekend treat but not good enough or healthy enough for every day.

Why not?

Of course it's not questionable. It's absolutely fine. What are you basing your last statement on? (Hint: nothing that the OP has said.)

And that's why your children will turn into lazy irresponsible adults who can't do anything as mummy always did it!

My 8&6 year olds make their own breakfast every morning and have done for ages. Your DH needs to unclench

I can’t understand the posters who would insist on make the breakfast for a child who actively wants to make his own. Or who would put everything out on the side just to be doing something (and cause extra work).

If your child enjoyed having breakfast made for them on the weekend that would be another thing (although it’s nice to encourage some areas of independence). But it sounds like he doesn’t even want that!

Your DH sounds like he can’t bear to see you sitting down, which is a very unpleasant trait.

I used to make pancakes for my sisters and I when I was 7. Kids that age can be very capable.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with him getting food out that doesn’t even need cooking?

@SusieBBB the OP said it's just at the weekend. I think if it's every day ideally a parent should be making them something a bit more filling and nutritious than just a UPF type yoghurt and breadsticks type affair. So porridge, eggs etc would be better. But the OP said it's just weekends so it's fine.

This seems quite ignorant and old fashioned. Teaching a child independence is better parenting than just handing a child everything they need, or doing everything for the child, in my opinion! I’m a teacher and teaching children how to do things by themselves is far superior to doing it for them. Why on earth would it be better if OP was laying everything out for her child, when he is capable and able to gather it himself, and will have a sense of pride and achievement after doing so?

I think it depends on what they eat the rest of the week. I think it’s much better than a bowl of coco pops. I am a big fan of letting kids eat what they want.

Nothing wrong with a 7 year old making a snack plater for breakfast if they enjoy doing so. There is no cooking involved and Crackers , fruit , yogurt and cheese sounds good. Who says it has to be cereal or toast. My child same age will get a plate and get crackers, fruit and cheese too for snacks and sometimes do his own breakfast , putting weetabix and milk in a bowl just because he wants to do it on his own. Don't see anything wrong with it at all.

Your job as a parent is to slowly teach/allow your child to do more and more things for themselves over the years so that they can be a fully functioning adult. 7 is a perfectly acceptable age for doing their own breakfast.

Mine have been making their own breakfast since they were 5 or 6, I think they started with cereal. I then started teaching them how to use the toaster, how to make a sandwich, then how to put some food in the oven (chips etc) how to boil pasta, how to chop veg, how to handle raw meat etc and now my three teenagers could easily make a decent meal if I asked them to.

It all starts with these little bits of independence with making breakfast or a sandwich, doing everything for your child when they are capable of doing it themselves is very unhelpful to them.

As long as you know what he is having and the content and portion is sufficient and suitable for his age then what is the problem?

he isn’t using hot things that would be unsafe without supervision
he isn’t eating anything that he shouldn’t be having for a meal (like junk food)

in fact it is good that he is learning to be independent and responsible but in a safe age appropriate way!

We’re in the U.K. We have family-centred dinners but not breakfasts; we all have different morning timings and routines.

An independent 7 year old sounds great to me. As he's at home he can always have more to eat later if necessary, unlike on school days.
You can always sort out the fridge a little so that there are lots of appealing options on the lower shelves that he can see. If he had a very sweet tooth I might be tempted to limit the more unhealthy options by putting most of them high in cupboards.
The only problems we used to have were when DC tried to pour milk or drinks from large cartons, we often left milk in a smaller jug so it was easier for them. DC used to warm things in a microwave or a toaster, but I'd perhaps be more anxious about using a kettle or a grill.

If DH is that annoyed let him get DS breakfast when he returns from work. See how long that lasts. If your Son is happy & getting a healthy breakfast then it's a no brainer to encourage him to see to himself so you have a peaceful morning coffee.

I think you are doing great op, teaching independence from an early age is a gift to our children. I do sometimes wonder if parents who do everything for their children are afraid of the loss of dependence on them, which is very unhealthy. My ds was getting his own cereal from the age of about 5. Didn't have the money for a fridge full of goodies, but he could open the fridge and help himself to a yogurt or babybel from a very young age.

I was coming home from work to a bowl of home made soup, made by him, when he reached age 12! He has long since left home but still invites me for a meal a couple of times a week so he can try out new recipes on me!

I think you may need to sit with your dh and reassure him that your sons independence is a good thing.

I agree. I can't see anything wrong with the boy's choice for breakfast. We often have Greek yogurt and fruit or a selection of cold meat and cheese for breakfast. I'm not sure why porridge or eggs would be a superior choice.