To allow DS(7) to make his own “breakfast” on the weekends?

[StolenChanel]

Just that really. DS doesn’t like typical “breakfast” meals like cereal, toast or eggs, and enjoys making his own meals. He’ll grab whatever snacks he can find from the cupboard/fridge and make what he calls a “snack platter” (we’re generally quite a healthy family so there aren’t really any sugary snacks for him to grab). This usually consists of things like crackers, breadsticks, fruits, yoghurts, or a cheese string/Babybel. This suits me just fine because I can’t be arsed with the rigmarole of working out what he wants to eat, DS is happy with his snacks and morning cartoons and I am happy to sit outside in peace with my coffee and a crossword.

However, DH works nights and comes home in the morning annoyed that I am sitting down with a coffee but “haven’t bothered to make DS breakfast”. So my question is, is what I’m doing lazy parenting or is DH being fussy?

So when is dc going to be old enough to put a few cold snacks on a plate and eat them? Compared to choosing the same range of things but controlled by an adult? Is there some magic age when you think that’s okay? 8? 10? 18?

Some children like to be independent , some parents like them to exercise responsibility and choice within safe parameters. Those children have a good chance of becoming responsible adults.

I think it's great he can do it himself and if it suits you why not. My kids have been making themselves breakfast since the age of 5/6 in terms of cereal. My 10 year old has not long start to make toast / sandwiches. They've always loved doing it themselves. No thanks mummy I can do it! Even if there was a few spillages along the way 😂

It's great OP. Mine were doing this from much younger. It's nice for everyone to have some relaxing out of routine mornings.

If he was asking you for breakfast and you didn't make then that's something else.

What's the difference in you getting it out the cupboard and laying it out for him to choose, rather than him choosing from the cupboard?

🦇 💩

A meet in the middle thing?
Make a box of vegetable sticks, cut some ordinary cheese into cubes and keep in boxes in the fridge. DS is happy that he has a choice of snacks, DH is happy that you are putting in some effort , you and your purse are happy that DS is happy at a slightly lower price.

DH is gonna be mega pissed off in 2 years when DS decides making pasta and pesto is the perfect breakfast.

It depends on the individual child doesn't it. Some are still very young at 7 especially if they haven't been allowed the freedom of trying to do things for themselves . Others learn faster.

It’s all very well getting validation on Mumsnet, but we’re not your DS’s other parent, your DH is and he gets to express why he is unhappy with what he is eating.

They are 7 this is absolutely fine

You know, deep down, if this is not good enough parenting OP. You're just looking for validation. If my child liked a 'snacky' breakfast, I'd be putting out on the side a selection of things, with a plate, while making my coffee. Then telling DS his breakfast was ready on the side in the kitchen, he can choose what he wants

😂😂

No wonder some kids turn into useless, helpless teens who've no idea what to do when they're not spoonfed everything in life.

You do understand that this child is 7, not 7 months? Letting them collect their own selection of snacks or breakfast or whatever is totally normal and to be encouraged to help them gain independence.

Creating a buffet so your little precious doesn't have to strain themselves by opening the fridge...well, good luck with that approach.

Is the problem the food he's eating or the fact that he's putting it together himself?

Why would you not want your child able to select a reasonably healthy meal from the fridge without handholding?

Children benefit from making their own choices and acting independently within safe boundaries.

Sounds good to me. I would definitely let him carry on.

Come on😂😂😂😂

My DD also dislikes 'normal' breakfast choices. She (12) has been sorting her own out for the last couple of years after many, many breakfasts I have made her that she has left and helped herself to other stuff instead.

It's perfectly fine for your son to sort his own snack plate out, it's good actually. Make sure you keep filling the fridge with suitable choices for him and let him have at it. You're raising an independent lad that will be able to function when he is older without his mum doing everything for him.

Definately not lazy.
In fact I think it takes a lot more patience to allow kids loose in the kitchen when they are trying to be independant.

Your DS actual used a plate! Gold star 🌟

If DH doesn't approve what stops him from preparing breakfast for DS?

@Highlandspringg 7 not really that young to start with cold snacks. DS is 10 nearly 11 he's just come into the kitchen and put veggie sausages in the air fryer to have with beans.....I've already fed him toast but turning into a preteen bottomless pit. I will keep an eye he doesn't burn himself but he can manage.

Its good end encourages breakfast. The only reason my DB wouldn’t allow his son (my DNephew) to do this is he can be a bit of a gannet. But he’s allowed to get cereal and milk and toast by himself, he’s 6.

My then 7 year old used to do this - he’s 8 now. I’m normally in bed tho as he is a super early riser (think 6am and Im Up at 7am) - he makes porridge or toast/ has cereal and watches cartoons etc.

Your DH is an arse who seems to think your job is to wait on your sons every need when really what you're doing is genuinely helping him be independent

All my 3 kids started getting their own breakfast at some point around this age. Older one age 10 mainly as I was sorting a baby at the time. Then he sometimes helped his sister age 4. Youngest child probably started around 7. Oldest was 17 then. Middle one was 10. She just did as she seen. Youngest one then went through a phase age about 14 when she'd make tea for me every day! She loved cooking and baking. I felt more terrible then than about breakfast... but she did really love it. Changed her whole eating habits. Went pescatarian for a while and really enjoyed her food and everything about it. No negative effects here

Nothing wrong with what you are doing.

Do you have any German genes in your family? Crackers or bread with cheese/cold meat fruit etc snacky type stuff is a perfectly normal German breakfast.

I don't think I made any of my children breakfast past the age of about 5 🤣

Yanbu breakfast is always help yourself here, we have a lot of sports clubs and activities and the kids have different tastes plus not everyone is hungry at the same time. Younger dc tend to have cereals but teens make eggs or porridge or sometimes just cold cook chicken wrap. I'll always offer what I'm having and if cooking teens will offer to make it for the younger siblings but 'do your own thing' works best for us on weekend mornings.

1. What's stopping DH making "cheese cubes"?
2. What's stopping DS making "cheese cubes"?