To allow DS(7) to make his own “breakfast” on the weekends?

[StolenChanel]

Just that really. DS doesn’t like typical “breakfast” meals like cereal, toast or eggs, and enjoys making his own meals. He’ll grab whatever snacks he can find from the cupboard/fridge and make what he calls a “snack platter” (we’re generally quite a healthy family so there aren’t really any sugary snacks for him to grab). This usually consists of things like crackers, breadsticks, fruits, yoghurts, or a cheese string/Babybel. This suits me just fine because I can’t be arsed with the rigmarole of working out what he wants to eat, DS is happy with his snacks and morning cartoons and I am happy to sit outside in peace with my coffee and a crossword.

However, DH works nights and comes home in the morning annoyed that I am sitting down with a coffee but “haven’t bothered to make DS breakfast”. So my question is, is what I’m doing lazy parenting or is DH being fussy?

As a parent of a child with food and eating issues who is under a dietician I really rate ice cream! Good quality ice cream has cream and fruit and calories which my 5 stone 14 year old really needs. Happy days when I could get an ice cream milkshale into him before school complete with ground almonds, cocoa powder and blended berries. No longer though as he went off it salfy.

I'd definitely encourage 7yos to make their own breakfast.

My 8yo wanted a cooked breakfast. I don't cook meat and her dad wasn't up for it. She cooked under his supervision. As a teen she can and does cook anything.

If the kid was helping himself to chocolate ice cream and cake DH would have a point, but as it is he definitely doesn't. Tell him DS has a healthy breakfast and is perfectly OK, and don't let him tell you how to parent.

I bet he’s delighted with himself too. Win win. Tell ur hubby go f* himself

My 7yo often makes herself crumpets in the morning before I've peeled myself out of bed. And porridge with her 10yo sister's supervision. I think it's great all round.

Great idea

My 7yr does the same sometimes

Might get some rice cakes or cereal in a bowl or grapes /blueberries etx or grated cheese or a brioche or croissant

She enjoys getting - if she asked me to get I would

This response made me laugh. IMO the OP is demonstrating excellent parenting. The child has a perfectly good breakfast and (even more importantly) is learning independence, responsibility, how to take initiative. Most children can sort their own breakfast at 5, it's unremarkable for a 7-year-old.

@StolenChanelyou're happy, your DS is happy. If your DH has some bizarre objection to this sort of breakfast, he can step in and produce eggs benedict or whatever he considers appropriate. It's definitely not up to you to make breakfast. Though TBH it would be a shame for all sorts of reasons for your DH to insist that DS stop making his own breakfast. He should keep his beak out.

That's great and build his confidence in the kitchen so when it's time to fly the nest he can cook etc and not be clueless.

It's great and to be encouraged. Does he tidy up after himself too?

My DD hates toast, cereals etc as well. She usually has some fruit, milk, yoghurt, cheese, olives etc. I’d love it if she had some eggs but thats not happening. Personally I feel that’s a pretty nutritious breakfast. I get it for her because she’s still little but tbh if she started sorting herself out I think we’d both be pleased with the growing independence.

Would also point out that in many places in the world some cheese, bread, olives, labneh, bit of honey are considered a perfectly normal breakfast.

He sounds anxious about food. I'd have a chat about it with him at a neutral time and place, away from the house preferably.

Does he think it's the thin end of a wedge towards obesity and poor health? Does he think cooking/eating=love and therefore you don't love you son as much? Is it a secret sexist belief that boys should be waited on hand and foot? Does he think the boy will literally starve and waste away if he has a snacky breakfast 2xweek? Does he feel resentful the he "makes an effort" to cook dinner and you "don't" with breakfast? Is there an age at which he would be happy to accept his child wants crackers for breakfast - and what age is that?

It's so difficult to give any advice when you don't know what's driving his beliefs/feelings.

As long as he is not in danger great work, however he must clear up after himself.
There are parents on other posts who are worried because their DC go to university and cannot look after themselves.

Teaching your child to be autonomous is super important, and as long as your ds has enough to eat, and it’s healthy, then it’s a win-win situation.
My ds will be 18 soon, and believe me, the time goes so very fast that it’s good to teach these things while you can!
As an aside, both my kids have got their own breakfasts since around age 5/6. Even during the week - we make packed lunches and they get their cereal. Only exception is if they’re poorly or if they have friends over & I make pancakes. My 10yo dd now makes me things - completely on her own. Cakes, cookies, smoothies, and she makes a fab cuppa too!
It’s so great to allow them to do things on their own, at an age appropriate rate of course 😂

I thought basically all 7 year olds fixed their breakfast?? 7 is quite capable! Mine does their cereal or toast and OJ on the week days! I mean I'm sort of there fixing stuff for the 2 year old but certainly I'm not going to bread in a toaster or pour cereal for a kid that age! What do they do whilst you do that? Sort of sit there watching you do something they can obviously do? And during the holidays if we are at home for lunch rather than doing a day out then they'll make a sandwich for themselves too... I'm always there, but no, there's no need for me to putting cheese and cucumber or whatever into a sandwich for a capable 7 year old.

Great parenting! I hope ds is as independent at 7!

My 5 and 7 year old make their own breakfast 80% of the time, unless we’re in a rush and it’s easier for me to do it! They quite often make their lunch too! They enjoy doing it, I supervise if I need to, they generally eat well so it’s not like they have a plate of chocolate and sweets

So, age 9, or age 11? When exactly is the right time to thrust tasks and chores on him?!

Was DH fed breakfast by his mum until a much later age, by any chance?

Our kids were always up early doors of a weekend when all we wanted was a sleep in. When my youngest was about 6, eldest 10, we left out covered bowls with cereal in, covered drinks with juice, cereal bars and fruit. Yoghurts and milk were in the fridge along with extra drinks if needed which my eldest could get. We’d leave this out for them so they could eat their breakfast when they got up without having to disturb us. Worked a treat and they liked being able to help themselves and we got an extra few hours kip. The eldest had to help out the youngest and they both learnt to take their pots out and clean up afterwards. Nothing wrong in letting them do some things for themselves

My thoughts exacltly.... the boy is 7, old enough to use a microwave or get snack foods from the cupboard for breakfast.

This sounds fine to me.
Your son is flexing his independence muscles.
Carry on! You're doing great!

Oh no! Not my type of parenting. I think you know it’s questionable. Talking to children when choosing food would be better, but you know that. Fussy eater is pending in my view,

Sound like your DH is a dick.

The only problem is your husband’s bad attitude. He needs to wise up (as we say here).

I’m wondering where in the world you are living.
Different countries have different traditions re food. Doesn’t sound like you have family centred breakfasts. Such a pity as this could be a great time to bond, and little ones can share any problems or just chat. When do you have your breakfast if it’s not with your son. I think this is a lost opportunity. He’s very young and a positive experience at breakfast is invaluable.