To allow DS(7) to make his own “breakfast” on the weekends?

[StolenChanel]

Just that really. DS doesn’t like typical “breakfast” meals like cereal, toast or eggs, and enjoys making his own meals. He’ll grab whatever snacks he can find from the cupboard/fridge and make what he calls a “snack platter” (we’re generally quite a healthy family so there aren’t really any sugary snacks for him to grab). This usually consists of things like crackers, breadsticks, fruits, yoghurts, or a cheese string/Babybel. This suits me just fine because I can’t be arsed with the rigmarole of working out what he wants to eat, DS is happy with his snacks and morning cartoons and I am happy to sit outside in peace with my coffee and a crossword.

However, DH works nights and comes home in the morning annoyed that I am sitting down with a coffee but “haven’t bothered to make DS breakfast”. So my question is, is what I’m doing lazy parenting or is DH being fussy?

Why would you sort breakfast if the 7 year old doesn't want you two and is getting a perfectly healthy breakfast for himself?

My child has been going to the fridge and choosing a snack at snack time since aged 2 and a half

I think my concern is he’s only 7, so isn’t aware of portion sizes and nutrition. What’s stopping him for eating all the cheese at once for example? I wouldn’t expect him to be able to provide himself a balanced breakfast

It's important for them to learn independence, and that's a gradual process.

DD is 8 and has been making herself breakfast or a snacky plate for at least a year - for breakfast she'll get yoghurt and berries from the fridge and sprinkle granola over it, for a snacky plate she'll find bits and pieces and assemble them on a plate. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and DH and I both encourage her.

Yesterday she said she felt she was big enough to make her own dough balls in the oven so I supervised that - she was absolutely fine but clearly I'm not going to leave her alone with hot things YET. Her nearly 12yo sister has been cooking her own dippers and dough balls and pasta for a while but it didn't happen in isolation.

I met people at the start university who had literally never turned on an oven before. That's not helpful parenting.

Being able to sort your own simple breakfast on a Saturday morning is a major childhood right of passage.

its a win for everyone. Child gains independence. Parent finally gets to linger in bed, even if they aren’t sleeping through at first.

Sounds perfectly fine to me. Fruit, yoghurt and cheese are very normal things for breakfast. I don’t like traditional cereal/toast and would much rather have fruit & yoghurt. You’re up and about by the sounds of it, so there to help if he needs it.

No German (or any European continental countries, in fact!) Part of the issue could be that DH and I both come from a culture where cooked meals are a priority, but we’re both quite Westernised so I don’t really understand his attitude to be honest. Perhaps he’s basing it on his own childhood.

He has crackers, cheese, fruit and yoghurt. The nutrition is much better than a bowl of cereal or toast and butter. Only thing I'd rather my son ate is eggs so I'd keep offering that in the hope they grow on him.

OP will be aware if he eats all the cheese

@Highlandspringg

why?

he wants to assemble his own, he enjoys it
hes not eating sugary cereal & biscuits

I let my kids of similar age do this but it's because I'm lazy and they love doing it. I've had years of getting up early to make breakfast on weekends. They're old enough to do it, so they should do it. I do plenty else for them, so if they can get themselves breakfast while i have my cuppa in peace, why not?

My dds prepared their breakfasts at that age, sometimes healthy, sometimes not. They used to make their packed lunches and still do for school as teens.

Enjoy your peace and middle finger to your miserable h 😏

I went one step further and it was DDs weekend job to makes us both breakfast from about the age of 6, I bought cereal dispensers so she just had to put the bowl under and turn and a jug for a small amount of milk in the fridge.

From the teen years, if she is at home it's her job to make lunch at the weekend and school holidays if Im WFH.

By 7 your child should be aware of how much a portion is. Mine are. They learn about it at school as well as at home.

@eeeeeeeee

hes doing better than what most parents give their kids/kids will eat.

Because mum is there with him? She is sat having a coffee, not out clubbing.

But the OPs child is not eating snacks, he is eating fruit, yogurt, cheese, breadsticks all perfectly acceptable and healthy foods for breakfast. If he was grabbing a handful of flipz and a packet of monster munch then that would be a different matter.

Op you are so so lucky that your kid is doing this, it’s fantastic, well done for your prt in it, do not fuck with it, just cheerlead.. It will build independence and self esteem in spades, and a good relationship with food where it doesn’t turn into a battle for control.

as for your husband, I think the reason I read these threads is to remind myself on a daily basis why I no longer want to be in a relationship. Why do people have to be so fucking rubbish/moody/critical? Why does he have to be to fly in the ointment when your child is doing such a lovely thing and you are enjoying the peace and quiet. It’s so depressing

My 8/11 year old make their own packed lunches and often breakfast (and have for some time now) - we have a family rule that meals consist of a carb, a protein and a fruit or veg at minimum but they have a lot of control about what that looks like. They add things to the grocery list themselves if they want something for the following week.

I have a terrible relationship with food so am trying to do better for my kids and let them have more say over what and when they eat - they're both super healthy and super active so it's working well so far.

It sounds like good independence encouraging parenting.

My daughter is just 4. She quite often does breakfast in bed on Saturdays generally (and has for a while)… we generally have dry cereal (neither of us have milk on cereal!) in random Tupperware/plastic bowls with maybe a banana if I’m lucky. She’ll also get water if we haven’t got it upstairs. She loves the independence and she’s even been puttting back the cereal in the cupboard recently (rather than scene of devastation on kitchen floor). I’ve asked her not to go in the fridge and she doesn’t (mainly because I couldn’t deal with split milk or the door being left open).

I would expect by 7 that she’d be able to make toast and sort fridge ingredients. But obviously wouldn’t have her using the cooker!

My daughters reaction when I said some parents wouldn’t let their kids get breakfast was a simple “but why???”

Why is presenting it like that better?

Tell dh to sod off. You are encouraging independence in ds. Carry on . He's jealous.

If he is eating something like baby bell then the portion size is pretty apparent! Ditto a banana. Ditto a carton of yogurt.

Your husband sounds like a right buzz kill. Just bc someone works nights doesn't mean they can come home in a mood, criticising you for your lack of 'duties'. It's your time off! Tell husband the kid doesn't like normal breakfast foods (you should know, you're his father FFS?!) and he's having his snack platter as his weekend breakfast. If he's got an issue tell him to call the British Nutritional Council Hotline or something?
Silly bugger.