To think this is abuse.

[Downandout21]

I love my job and I've always been good at it. Good contacted hours I've worked hard towards to fit around DD meaning no additional childcare, also good pay and I love my team.

DH always moans about it. I don't finished until 5 and by 4 he is moaning that I should be finished and my works stupid, won't look after DD as says I should be finished work and really puts me under pressure. Now my performance is declining.

I spoke to DH about this numerous times and he states he hates my job and he hopes I grt sacked so I have to apply for a new one.

I've eventually caved and have an interview for a new job today. Will mean having to work every other weekend, over Christmas and some nights. DH says we all have to make sacrifices.

I'm gutted, I worked really hard to get to where I am now and really do love my job.

Do Not Leave Your Job. Leave him.

(The new job sounds even worse than the current one for him having to step up and he's already told you he won't.)

Yes, it is abuse and changing your job will not fix it. He will just find something else to abuse you for and try to control you. That's how abusers operate. The job is not the problem, him being a controlling tit is.

You need to start mentally / emotionally distancing yourself from him. You cannot care about the opinions of a man who has not got your best interests at heart. Your life belongs to you, not to him.

You are being unreasonable for caving
get rid of DH
not your job

Surely you have asked him why he refuses to look after his own daughter! What is his reply?

What a plonker it's called parenting he finishes at 2. So why is he ok parenting his own child 2-4 but 4-5 he see's his bum?

@Nanny0gg I've had my nose broken by a man before, he also made me quit my job.
Funny that...
You've a narrow view of abuse.

I think the dc is in school till then possibly he collects comes home and the whinging starts up?

Also, I had a friend who had a husband like this. Every nag she gave in to he moved the goalposts. Being SAHM was embarrasing to him so she must work even though they didnt need the money but also keep the house immaculte and cook fancy meals that he'd often just leave and then get a takeaway instead. Then her part time hours wernt enough so much go full time again with 0 housework or childcare from him and same immaculate house expections. When she did this then her job wasnt prestigeous enough so he demanded she retrained as 'a doctor or lawyer' at 40 despite explaining that this was 1 very hard to do 2 not what she wanted to do he's now using 'not a doctor' for the stick to beat her with forever more, he kids are very sad abn also hideously critisised and controlled by their horrid dad. You'll never appease him as he's the problem

Keep the job, leave the man.

Can you work outside of the home when he comes back? Local library or co working space?

@skeletonbones

When she did this then her job wasnt prestigeous enough so he demanded she retrained as 'a doctor or lawyer' at 40 despite explaining that this was 1 very hard to do 2 not what she wanted to do he's now using 'not a doctor' for the stick to beat her with forever more,

This man sounds vile. What did he do? I'm assuming he was the Chief Medical Officer or something... not

Bog standard IT sort of job, delusional, nasty twat.

But it wont be easier. The new job will be even harder to cope with around DD care. DH has even more excuses to moan about it, and eventually you give up your job and he gets what he wants - control.

I hope the OP realises that he is threatened by her job and career.
He is determined to destroy it for her.

@skeletonbones

Bog standard IT sort of job, delusional, nasty twat.

Why am I not surprised? Men like that are never high achievers themselves.