To think this is abuse.

[Downandout21]

I love my job and I've always been good at it. Good contacted hours I've worked hard towards to fit around DD meaning no additional childcare, also good pay and I love my team.

DH always moans about it. I don't finished until 5 and by 4 he is moaning that I should be finished and my works stupid, won't look after DD as says I should be finished work and really puts me under pressure. Now my performance is declining.

I spoke to DH about this numerous times and he states he hates my job and he hopes I grt sacked so I have to apply for a new one.

I've eventually caved and have an interview for a new job today. Will mean having to work every other weekend, over Christmas and some nights. DH says we all have to make sacrifices.

I'm gutted, I worked really hard to get to where I am now and really do love my job.

This is abuse. What is he adding to your life? Don’t give up a job you love. You’ll regret it massively. He’ll leave you anyway perhaps and then you’ll be stuck without your job and your supportive colleagues. Ditch him not the job.

So you won’t leave because you don’t think he can look after your daughter but the new job will do exactly that

I think breakfast club which is fine and start looking at how to leave

God he's so selfish.

Keep your job, quit your husband.

Just put her in the breakfast club for now keep your job and consider your options

If you do want to stay with him I second that idea of trying to do 8-4 instead

But less flippantly, does he work? If not he should definitely be looking after her. Long term don't stay with a man who doesn't support you but look into options to give you more flexibility as a working mother/working single mother. What after-school club options, childminder options etc do you have? If husband is at home with your daughter for that last hour, could you be working from an office or co working space so he can't disrupt the last hour of your day?

This

Fucking hell op. This is insane. Please do not leave a job you love and are good at for this spiteful, jealous turd of a man.

Don't change your job - it sounds like if you do your husband will be moaning even more and neglecting your daughter more.

You shouldn't have to, but put her in afterschool club, and then ask yourself the question "What is the point of your husband?" and think about getting rid of him.

Okay, say you will consider changing your hours from 8.00am to 4.00pm as a compromise, BUT only if HE pays for it.
See how that little suggestion goes down.

You don’t need to leave your job but you do need to leave your husband. What a selfish prick he is. I’m so angry for you OP.

far older mum posting……I would seriously consider keeping the job you have. If he is being an absolute flake over looking after your DD for an hour during weekdays he will be an even bigger flake for weekends, nights and Christmas. I can see you being told after a few weeks that the new job is not working out for him either and look your neglecting your DD…..based on your posts his example is very poor and not good enough to make me think you have a balanced shared and caring partnership.

Please consider that it is far easier to organise any additionally needed childcare Monday to Friday during the day hours. Nights, weekends and Christmas is only doable with a very supportive partner and a very good back up support network. it often costs far more too.

How is he managing to moan at you for the last hour?! Are you working from home??

If you are, look at changing that either by going into the office, or using a work space every day or every afternoon.

If you're not working from home just ignore his calls and messages until you leave work.

Do NOT change jobs op.

LTB

Seriously

Don't give you your job for what will be one week of bliss with no moaning.

You know a few months in of weekend and Christmas work that your going to end up paying yourself to put your dd in childcare or her care at home is going to rapidly decline when she's close to start school.

You can't do this and it's clearly abuse determined to make you lose your financial power.

Do not change a job with hours that suit you for one that would be difficult to arrange childcare for. You will need that flexibility if you split with him.
He will sabotage the new job because you will be more reliant on him for childcare and he knows he could do that as a means to control you.
At least with your current job you would only need breakfast club in case of a split.

@Downandout21 please don't leave your job! Your husband is a bully and controlling. He will never like any job you have. He wants you to be at his disposal but also bring in the wages?? Please please don't leave to job YOU love! You will also miss out on time with your daughter that way. Who will look after her when you're at work during weekends? Stay put in your job, use breakfast/after school clubs if you can. Make an exit plan regarding your husband.

Ps not many of us are blessed with jobs that we live AND jobs that are flexible around family time. Don't let go of yours!

Agree with everyone else that the resentment and interference is unlikely to stop if you go along with this. It will just move on to something else. As you like your job, keep it. Why make everything worse for yourself

He sounds manipulative and that's probably the tip of the iceberg. I'm assuming he knows you love your job so that's the main reason he is doing this. People like him like to be in control.. Do not give into his requests. Plan how you're going to sack him from your life, get a court order in place regarding your DD. If you let him walk all over you, you will not recognise yourself in years to come and this will also impact your child. Even if he does have access at least there will be conditions and he will have to abide by them. You can do this, show your daughter what a strong Mum she has by standing up to him.

I mean whats the job? I don't think I have seen you mention it.

I mean say if your a prostitute in a brothel or a porn star I think its pretty fair your husband could hate it and tell you to stop most here would likely agree they wouldn't stay with someone who is out selling sex while they sit at home with your kids.

If your a cashier in M&S or something then its a little weirder to have issues but what is the actual reason he hates it?

My ex (still friends) went on to become a fisherman after we split, I honestly have to say I would have struggled to date him if he had got that job while we where still together. The smell alone is abhorrent, overpowering and makes me gag/gives me migraines. You can dislike a persons job and there can be legitimate reasons you don't like it. Jobs have a knock on effect on family and life.

This is NOT about the job. This is about control. Please do not leave this job, as this will manifest in other ways and you’ll split up anyway and be in a job you hate.

if you want to concede then breakfast club is the thing that should give, I think.

if you leave your job that you love you might regret it forever. His problem, I bet, it that you have meetings and that means people listen to you or value what you have to say. He’s threatened by your job and the fact you are good at it and enjoy it.

My best friends ex was a controlling a-hole and hated her having any accolades or promotions. He thought her job as a senior nurse was the same as working in a supermarket, and he wanted her to do that for the easier hours. Get which one she got rid of?

Dont have the interview OP, stick with your current job.
Can you look into wrap around care or a child minder? I think you need to do your best to block him out don't involve him or ask him, he will only use it as a stick to beat you with. He is a complete twat but you know this.
Stay with a job you love, and ignore him or tell him you're not interested in his opinion and to shut the hell up. And then start to make plans for leaving him. See a solicitor and get some advice and then you can start to make plans longer term for getting out.

Something isn't right, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR JOB, it will cause u to be resentful. Finding a job that you love that doesn't require additional cc is a godsend.
Take care, your husband is being very unreasonable, I can see no logic in his thinking. Is he normally unreasonable re other matters?