Mum drinking at pick up

[Cybertron]

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

Well that’s not unwinding is it? OP you already know the answer here

It’s not ok, I would worry about what sort of home life those kids have if mum is under the influence at school pick up. Poor kids.
Just not acceptable. I would report in this situation.

I think you should let the school know. They may have other concerns about the children.

Please report this. It it very much not OK.

As teachers, we're always told that if we're trying to decide whether a concern is worth logging or whether it's too minor, then the answer is always to log it.

Go to the school on Monday and ask to speak to someone about a safeguarding concern. Say what you saw and what the mother said. Keep it factual - no judgement, personal opinion or inferences. Make written notes today while it's fresh in your minnd and take them with you.

Repeated reports help a school and other agencies to build up a picture of what is happening and work together to create a strong body of evidence.

Tbf mums at my school often have a couple in the pub after pick up While kids play outside. But to take it in a water bottle kind of gives the impression she can't get through an hour to wait till she gets home To have a glass of wine, which is massively concerning.

Wine is strong, and if she's drinking wine at 3pm she surely must be pissed while looking after the kids later on.

The odd wine at lunch before pickup occasionally is very very different to having wine in your water bottle.
As someone who has had a bottle of wine of an alcohol problem this is ringing alarm bells. Also the fact that she's trying to normalise/minimalise it by joking about it suggests that she thinks it's ok and not an issue.

As someone said up thread- I would definitely make a note of the conversation now before you forget over the weekend and speak to the school on Monday as a safe guarding issue.

*a bit of that should read not bottle

I'm cringing now. I quite often used to kill time before picking up DC by popping to the pub for a couple - and I smoked back then!!! The other Mum's must have been horrified. I never gave it a thought though, at the time.
I never took alcohol to a park after school. She either thinks it's normal or she has a serious problem.
My deciding factor would be whether her kids seemed happy and not neglected, shabby clothes etc. Without knowing the full facts, no one knows what goes on at any one persons home.

Why do you need wine to unwind?

misread that as hot water bottle - sounded vile

I misread it as hot water bottle too! I was thinking how weird she must look chugging out of one, 😁

It would be seriously weird to see at school pickups mums or dads drinking from a can of lager or pre mixed gin and tonic. I’m sure it’s happened though, I can see the odd dad in the car doing this, but not openly. In the park after school with other parents not so bad though.

This mum does have a drinking problem. Report her.

Does she drive at all? There was an alcoholic mum at our primary she had a very hard life but you made sure you hosted her (lovely) Dd for play dates not the other way round.

I’d be worried what going on in her home life that she’s drinking in the afternoon. Was there another parent at home?

Sorry posted too soon. Was she driving?

There’s lots of parents who go to the pub with their children at the weekends early afternoon and have a few wines. Was it maybe because it’s Friday? There could be loads of reasons tbh.

If she's just done it this once it's fine and it's not like she was drunk anyway

That’s concerning OP, especially if she’s driving the kids home. I have been there, carrying my non seethrough water bottle around & kidding myself that it was perfectly acceptable. I would definitely report it.

As a child of an alcoholic who picked me up drunk from school and broke the speed limit driving home I would very much have appreciated it being reported.

I wouldn't be worried by someone having a drink with friends in the afternoon. It would concern me that she was the only one drinking and that she had put the wine in a water bottle as that suggests she is disguising the drinking. Plus a water bottle is a large volume for wine!

It could well be just a phase but having a degree of accountability and concern is a good thing- often it's getting away with it and the echo chamber of people agreeing or not challenging that let's it go on.

I highly doubt its possible to tend to your child's need when drunk, having seen it myself. At best being ignored, burnt dinners, that sort of thing.

This is definitely not ok. Really sounds like a cry to help but you need to alert the school to make sure her children are safe. Treat her with kindness and reach out with some supportive services (although don’t be surprised if she gets annoyed at you) but the safety of the children is the main issue. A report might be the wake up call she needs.

Did she seem drunk? Did the child seem happy etc.

She took her kid to the park, she could’ve quite easily gone home, sat the kid on the iPad & quaffed a bottle of vodka. She might just have been having one of her allocated Friday drinks at the park. As long as she wasn’t pissed, waving her car keys around etc then I wouldn’t be bothered.

I know loads of capable, stable parents of well loved & looked after kids that have a couple before (&after!) they pick the kids up on a Friday.

Poor woman. Definitely report!

One of our school mums did this....all 'not right but we dont wish to interfere' until she crashed a car with both her children with her, fell down the stairs drunk fracturing her child's wrist and it all unravelled pretty quick

I think once somebody has progressed to downing white wine from their water bottle, there is no question as to them not having a drinking problem. I just hope she doesn't drive in that state and her poor children are safe.