Mum drinking at pick up

[Cybertron]

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

It's alarming how alcohol is considered ''acceptable'' in today's society {UK}

It's incredibly damaging to the body and brain, yet government raises tax on it, and nicotine- both powerfully addictive drugs.

Her kids are all in primary. No smaller ones at home.

If it wasn't being disguised, she'd be waiting until she got home.
She's boozing on the go, so must be desperate.

I’ve been mulling this. All the mums at kids cricket tend to have a glass of pimms or Prosecco and the dads a beer while watching the kids and no-one bats an eye lid or would raise a concern about the children. The odd drink while watching kids can be very normal.

But…. the OP’s friend though feels like she’s drinking much more than that and has gone beyond the example above. You have to drink a lot to be smelling of alcohol and she was like that at 3pm and continuing. Chances are she was drinking alone at home, was drinking at the park and probably wouldn’t be stopping. She wasn’t drinking for a social event- the other mums weren’t doing it- she was drinking wine from a water bottle to get through being at a playground. That is very different and more worrying than the thousands of parents who might have a drink or two on a Friday night with friends.

I'm aware people have very different sensitivity of smells and what stinks of alcohol to one doesn't to another. I would imagine she was joking when she laughed and said it was to get her through the day if that was truly the case it would be the last thing she said.

You’re joking? Decanting wine into a water bottle is seriously desperate. She’s got a problem and I would 100% talk to the school.

The mum part of me would think 'was she shit faced? Was she driving? Is it a one off?' And weigh it all up. Observe her at pick up next time.

The governor part of me says it's got to be reported.

Me and dh have walked to the pub with our primary kids. We don't have more than two and it's incredibly infrequent ( once every 3 months or less).

Actually I can't swear I never do anything that wouldn't reach MASH levels. But also my son has a disability socail worker so I know the reportable levels and reality of socail care. I think my socail care team would turn a blind eye or avoid looking for a lot of neglect level parenting. In fact, they do.

But everyone has a duty of care for safeguarding. Its everyone's job.

So you would take a glass bottle to a park that's not very safe

Yeah sorry I phrased that really badly. I didn't quite mean I would be interrogating her over her Evian bottle. I would be 100% thinking about these questions though and wondering what the impact of he drinking is on her kids.

You have absolutely no idea if her first drink of the day of before her breakfast, or whether it is her breakfast.

Please don’t wait until Monday. Please phone this direct to social services. ANYONE can phone through as a member of the public (and this can be done anonymously, if you have concerns about this).

Please don't do this.

I don't know that with anyone I meet I also don't know who's done a line of coke before picking their kids up

If she wasn’t driving and wasn’t drunk, social services will do absolutely nothing.

Jesus Christ - unclench ladies!

I fear if it all
looked very middle class to you (such as kids playing in park with a cafe inside serving alcohol and the mum having a wine after paying £8 for a glass - fine. Or bringing a hamper with cheese and grapes and a bottle of wine on a Friday - also fine.)

A PLASTIC BOTTLE?! Aghast!!! Alcoholic!! Hiding it!! (Even though she literally told op) 😂 she’s an adult and if she wants a glass (or plastic bottle) of wine in the park on a Friday afternoon why not?! Leave her alone and stop acting like you give her a shit about her kids.

Total overreaction by most on this thread. Obviously they’ve never been to a party or wedding with their children. But that’s ok apparently. It’s no different .

Nope you don't. That's true.
Most people aren't 'relaxing' with a plastic water bottle of booze at the park tho.

Nowhere near as bad as your experience but My dad went to the pub every day when I was at junior school, scary to think of now as although he never seemed drunk he’d reek of booze when he collected me when my mum was on late shifts and I’d be mortified. He went at lunch and worked as an electrician which is frightening as well.

but yes I’d report, it’s not going to be a generally happy home I’d suggest.

Definitely report it

I don't think it's great really, but I'm more of a social drinker and only drink on the odd night out so that might be making me biased.

I'm not sure I'd report on this occasion as it may be a one off. but I'd keep a bit of an eye and if she's been drinking next time you see her it's probably worth letting the school know.

I know loads of people who do this me included

Unwinding would be meditation, relaxing, watching a film, having a bubble bath. Thar sort of thing

Ah. I see.

So if the park was in a pub or the soft play had a bar or we where having a picnic that's OK but sitting out in the sun on a Friday afternoon with friends is not ok just wondering so I know the rules

This is a safeguarding issue, contact the school and let them deal with it. Someone who is drinking in the park like that clearly has an alcohol problem

Explains a lot.