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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum drinking at pick up

404 replies

Cybertron · 20/09/2024 18:30

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

OP posts:
whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 16:36

Technically it's against the LAW to be drunk in charge of a child too, @miss79guided

And I would guess that someone secretly drinking wine from a water bottle to the point they 'reek' of booze is likely to be over the limit.

This is such a weird hill for you to die on as someone who (hopefully) isn't the woman OP met up with. You lock your door and wear a seatbelt because of sensible risk assessment and / or the law, but think it's "acceptable" to be drinking wine secretly from a water bottle when in charge of kids to 'get through the day'? She wasn't enjoying one glass with a lunch, she was drinking it from a water bottle and saying she couldn't cope if she had to be sober.

It's sad your bar for parents is so low. On the floor, really.

greengreyblue · 01/12/2024 17:28

According to the law it’s legal to give a 5 year old child alcohol at home!

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 17:53

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 07:45

@miss79guided

Do you genuinely think that someone who isn't alcoholic needs to routinely covertly drink wine in the afternoon to 'get through the day'?

What you're saying in your posts only make sense if you also have an alcohol reliance issue tbh.

To think it's in any way normal or healthy to secretly need alcohol to 'get through the day' (especially when caring for children) is absolutely batshit.

What IS the issue, so what IF is an alcoholic - probably NOT an alcoholic - it does NOT change ANYTHIN either way - alcoholism IS a thing - murdering IS a thing - better to B an alcoholic THAN a murderer. IS being an alcoholic causing U ANY direct issues? What R the visible issues HERE?
Speculation ONLY
People die in road accidents - driving IS still acceptable.
Do U drive a car? The DAMAGE that U R causing BY driving, for some reason U find this ACCEPTABLE

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 18:13

Good grief @miss79guided you sound like you've had a few too many yourself.

Better to be most things than a murderer but it doesn't make everything else acceptable...

And I don't drive for medical reasons so a moot point there 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think you're a lost cause when it comes to common sense / clarity of thought on this issue, so I'll leave it there!

User346897543 · 01/12/2024 18:23

Loving the random capital letters

Scirocco · 01/12/2024 18:32

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 17:53

What IS the issue, so what IF is an alcoholic - probably NOT an alcoholic - it does NOT change ANYTHIN either way - alcoholism IS a thing - murdering IS a thing - better to B an alcoholic THAN a murderer. IS being an alcoholic causing U ANY direct issues? What R the visible issues HERE?
Speculation ONLY
People die in road accidents - driving IS still acceptable.
Do U drive a car? The DAMAGE that U R causing BY driving, for some reason U find this ACCEPTABLE

"What are the visible issues here?"

Well...
A woman needs to drink alcohol to cope with life. This likely indicates wider issues in her life and can cause her physical and mental health difficulties in the present and future. Recognising that and addressing it sooner rather than later can minimise the harm to her mental and physical health and help her improve her life.
It's illegal to be intoxicated in charge of a child under 7. The op mentions multiple children, with the eldest being under 10, so the likelihood is that at least one child is 7 or younger.
It's been conclusively demonstrated that parental addiction and harmful use of alcohol/substances causes harm to children. The longer it goes unaddressed, the more substantial the damage. A harmful pattern of behaviour like the OP describes, needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

You say you wouldn't not wear a seatbelt, because it's illegal. Would you break the law by being in charge of a child under 7 while intoxicated? Because that's just as illegal as not wearing a seatbelt. If you wouldn't do it, what makes it acceptable for someone else to do it?

You said you lock your door so that strangers can't walk into your home. Presumably, because you risk assessed that scenario and decided locking the door was a reasonable precaution. The risks to children in both the short and long term are well-researched and clear, and social work, the justice system and professionals involved in the education and support of children have been pretty unanimous in indicating that a) an intoxicated adult having sole responsibility for a young child is a bad idea, and b) parental harmful alcohol misuse or dependency cause harm to children. Would you get drunk in the park and assume young children can be relied upon to get themselves and you safely home? Would you drink enough alcohol to impair your judgement (because that's the volume the OP describes) and trust yourself to get your children safely home, knowing that if something bad happens, it's on you? Would you choose not to address something known to have lasting consequences for your children? If you wouldn't, why is it acceptable for someone else to?

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 18:43

U whathaveiforgotten May B familiar WITH bein common but missguided
demands MORE - if it were easy everybody would B doin it

I DON`T make the rules

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 18:47

Scirocco · 01/12/2024 14:45

So, by the same logic, perhaps there's cause for concern about the actions of the OP's acquaintance...

Well I did NOT want to mention it but
A rose by any other name ...

Scirocco · 01/12/2024 18:48

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 18:47

Well I did NOT want to mention it but
A rose by any other name ...

What do you mean?

ReadingInTheRain583 · 01/12/2024 19:41

I think we've found water bottle park mum...

BMW6 · 01/12/2024 20:04

Fuck me I've seen some pissed posting often but these by miss79guided take the bloody biscuit!
Pissed as a fart at 8.30am.......and all hours day and night....... get some help. You really need it.

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 20:07

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 18:43

U whathaveiforgotten May B familiar WITH bein common but missguided
demands MORE - if it were easy everybody would B doin it

I DON`T make the rules

You're not making any sense. You sound drunk or unwell. Hopefully you're ok.

All the best.

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 20:24

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 20:07

You're not making any sense. You sound drunk or unwell. Hopefully you're ok.

All the best.

Either way - I AM in a better mood than U

Thanks, but I DON`T need UR sympathy
> Just leave UR credit card details !!

cariadlet · 01/12/2024 20:31

Can people please stop responding to miss79guided 🙏

I plead guilty for doing it once but have tried hard not to do it again. Every time someone quotes her or replies to her, she posts another of her rambling posts.

I'm going to hide this thread if it happens much more. I can't be the only one!

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 20:34

cariadlet · 01/12/2024 20:31

Can people please stop responding to miss79guided 🙏

I plead guilty for doing it once but have tried hard not to do it again. Every time someone quotes her or replies to her, she posts another of her rambling posts.

I'm going to hide this thread if it happens much more. I can't be the only one!

You're right!

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 21:03

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 07:45

@miss79guided

Do you genuinely think that someone who isn't alcoholic needs to routinely covertly drink wine in the afternoon to 'get through the day'?

What you're saying in your posts only make sense if you also have an alcohol reliance issue tbh.

To think it's in any way normal or healthy to secretly need alcohol to 'get through the day' (especially when caring for children) is absolutely batshit.

Red Wine IS GOOD 4 U
> Dr recommended - JUST toppin up BOOSTIN the body

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 21:06

BETTER to drink Red Wine THAN have a heart attack - just sayin, what would happen to the child then - after a heart attack ?? !!
BETTER to B safe than sorry

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 22:54

miss79guided · 01/12/2024 21:03

Red Wine IS GOOD 4 U
> Dr recommended - JUST toppin up BOOSTIN the body

whathaveiforgotten

U CAN`T handle the TRUTH
> Claimin some alcoholic IS 4 UR benefit ONLY - it gives U somethin to talk about - UR life IS that EMPTY ...

User346897543 · 02/12/2024 11:00

@miss79guided do you have an aversion to the letter G ??

miss79guided · 03/12/2024 06:35

User346897543 · 02/12/2024 11:00

@miss79guided do you have an aversion to the letter G ??

User346897543 miss79guided CONTAINS the letter G - just sayin

User346897543 · 03/12/2024 06:38

Why don't you use it on the end of words then ? Just saying

miss79guided · 03/12/2024 22:28

User346897543 like U - it IS annoyin

User346897543 · 04/12/2024 12:12

Learn to spell, you sound ridiculous

miss79guided · 05/12/2024 09:31

It is what it IS

Mazzles1 · 06/12/2024 08:20

Differentstarts · 21/09/2024 21:16

Most adults can handle there drink and don't feel like this after a couple

Sorry, but this is the type of attitude that people have when they think it’s fine to get behind the wheel and drive after having ‘a few drinks’…