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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum drinking at pick up

404 replies

Cybertron · 20/09/2024 18:30

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

OP posts:
Differentstarts · 06/12/2024 14:10

Mazzles1 · 06/12/2024 08:20

Sorry, but this is the type of attitude that people have when they think it’s fine to get behind the wheel and drive after having ‘a few drinks’…

Edited

Bit of a stretch, iv never drank and drove in my life and i wouldn't. However most adults are capable of looking after children after 2 drinks and not falling all over the place

miss79guided · 06/12/2024 22:44

whathaveiforgotten · 01/12/2024 20:34

You're right!

Well there IS a first for everythin - probably over due

miss79guided · 06/12/2024 23:45

Is there any OTHER issue here, or is it simply the mother has had a few wines?
Is she, steamin drunk - causin any direct issues. It is simply just, what might happen? Well guess what, it probably has NOT happened so I AM confused where the issue IS ??
Is it REALLY an issue ?

Scirocco · 07/12/2024 05:28

miss79guided · 06/12/2024 23:45

Is there any OTHER issue here, or is it simply the mother has had a few wines?
Is she, steamin drunk - causin any direct issues. It is simply just, what might happen? Well guess what, it probably has NOT happened so I AM confused where the issue IS ??
Is it REALLY an issue ?

Yes, there are other issues than simply having some wine.

There is a difference between drinking for enjoyment and drinking to cope. Someone disclosing they feel they need alcohol to get through the day, suggests an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and that they're struggling with something.

The situation includes covert drinking - the alcohol has been concealed. Concealing how much alcohol is being drunk can be another sign of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

People who have healthy relationships with alcohol would not drink to the extent that they "reek of booze" (as per the OP) while having primary/sole responsibility for their children in a public place in daytime. To "reek" of it, someone needs to have quite a bit. Think about how much alcohol means someone exceeds the drink-drive limit - that limit is there because alcohol is known to impair judgement, risk awareness and reaction times. Now consider that it takes quite a bit more than that to "reek" of alcohol.

So, we have indicators of reliance, secrecy and prioritisation of alcohol. Which are all markers that the woman in question may be struggling with an alcohol problem. If she has an alcohol problem, that places her at risk and her children, as well as the wider 'ripple effect' of consequences for others.

If you notice signs like this in your own behaviour or the behaviour of others, you shouldn't ignore them or assume it'll be fine. Getting help at an early stage can make a big difference for outcomes.

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