Mum drinking at pick up

[Cybertron]

After school pick up at 3.15pm a lot of us take our kids to the local park. The kids play on the playground and we sit under benches by the trees. I chat to the mums that are there and have done for a couple of years but I am not close to any of them. Today one mum was chatting to me and she reeked of booze. She told me that she had filled her water bottle with white wine and laughed saying it was the only way to get through the day. She then continued to drink the wine. Her kids are under 10. Should I say or do something or is this ok?
AIBU: leave it she deserves to unwind
YABU: drinking like that with kids is not ok

as none of us are there, we can’t advise. You need to decide whether you think she was drunk or not and whether her children seem well cared for. If you see a pattern or a determination over time, it might be a concern. If it was a one-off and she was in control then it might not be.

Just going to say I reek of booze after one drink, I don’t know why but I just start stinking of booze quite quickly. It is a bit desperate to fill a water bottle but tbh if it’s the only time you have noticed it and it’s not something thats happened before (you say you’ve been going to the same place for years) it could be that something happened that she hasn’t shared with you. If you see the same mum over and over getting shitfaced at pick up then yeah I would be very concerned and definitely mention it at school.

I agree with a previous poster who said that a dad could easily say ‘I need this pint (or two) to get through the day’
It feels sexist to me.
I really don’t think that drinking wine on a Friday afternoon needs reporting.
I think if you want to do something useful then chat to the mum and see how she’s getting on. But reporting her for this one event seems like a huge over reaction.

Drinking out of a water bottle is the problem, it wasn’t a boozey lunch, or a few drinks with friends, she didn’t open a bottle of wine to share at the park. Its hiding it or normalising hiding it.
it’s difficult to think what would I actually do, I would probably in reality discuss it with friends who knew her to see if there was some stuff going on like a divorce or breast cancer or a bereavement or whatever, and based on that maybe discuss with the teacher to keep an eye out.
But it’s not the one off drinking, it’s putting it in a water bottle. Drinking and smoking in the afternoon is not the end of the world if you are with friends.

Sounds like she’s really struggling and has hit the bottle. I think you probably need to mention it to the school. They will know what the right steps to take would be.

She wasn’t hiding it- she told op openly!

I reported a parent that was picking her children up from school drunk and then getting them all in the car. It’s a safeguarding issue and you need to speak to DSL.

Exactly. Hiding it from the children perhaps, but not trying to drink in secret.

That's not even close to being the same thing

'get through day" ?
This one?( Parent died? Fella fqkt off? Just fquin struggling?Blotched her toe nail varnish?" Is....a one off? OR daily given? ?
How many kids under ten? Youngest still breastfed?
In a couple of years ...is this 1st you bin told,heard she does this?
Was she reach out ? Past point of giving a fk? ...
Ratarsed? ...
Like it or not, sometimes go wi your gut(not prissy judgement) is essential.
The actual 'bar' also varies....half cut/squiffy by four,home,teatime, bath n snuggly movie..she gony probably wake at 9 pm n go "FML" daddy might come home , might be sleepo at gmas ,first night off in months.
In ideal world,nope...how dreadful.
In real life.. up til point you are caught trousered,kids qualify as neglect, ..how dreadful.
Who you gony tell? To what end??
Disapproval, not whatchu do,actual danger zone is huge( in law, mostly HAS to happen,if swing for it, theoretically,)

Ffs 😂

The woman had some wine on a Friday afternoon. She wasn't hiding it.

Do you even know her OP? Was this the first time you spoke to her?

If this happened every day then aye, she maybe has a problem. But you have seen this one time.

As previous posters have said, a pub with a softplay and nobody would bat an eyelid.

Again, depends on context. She may not have decanted it to hide it. It may simply be because she can hardly take a glass wine bottle out. Or maybe she doesn’t want to have busybodies telling her not to drink with kids in the park. And as for ‘reeking of alcohol’, if someone’s just had a sip, you can smell it on their breath. It doesn’t necessarily mean she has a drink problem. But, of course, it might. And even if she does, functioning alcoholics can still look after their kids, though not always.

Really disagree. This isn’t a glass of wine at lunch, it’s decanted into a water bottle. That’s not really normal drinking behaviour.

People transfer things from glass bottles to plastic for safety and convenience reasons all the time this isn't out of the ordinary

I've been pub with friends before school pick up and had a couple of drinks. I do think walking around with wine in a water bottle is a bit concerning though. It may just be a one off and using the classic 'wine-o-clock' joke lots of mums do. Id just keep an eye and see if it becomes more of a regular thing. The threshold for social services involvement is extremely high.

Why does it matter if it's in a water bottle? Maybe it's an insulated one to keep it cold? Maybe it's so the kids don't ask questions. She's announcing it to casual acquaintances so it's not like she's hiding it.

I have a wine or two before picking my baby up from nursery sometimes. But I think it would be seen as ok here because they cost £8 a glass and it’s in the local gastropub and I usually have a copy of a novel I’m reading with me, usually by a writer that has been nominated for some sort of literary prize.

i remember seeing a dad drinking a can of IPA in the playground once. He was a posh dad with a young baby. I did judge him but then I also thought, well, it probably feels like midday to him if he’s been up since 3. Had it been a dad in grey keks with a can of Stella though, I’d have inevitably felt differently.

Because I’m aware of my class prejudices and I examine them.

It is mildly worrying that this mum drank some wine in a plastic water bottle in the afternoon in the park but it’s not social services reporting worrying, Jesus. The fact she was open about it for a start. Maybe she is skint and can’t afford the wine at the local fancy pub? I’d be keeping an eye rather than than getting on the blower to the social at this stage.

Unless you want to report all the parents in the local pub with their bottles of barolo as they feed their kids pizza after pickup, as well.

Talk to the school . They will keep you out of it. Chances are the teachers may have noticed before anyway . But they should do a welfare check .
She sounds like she needs some help.

I'm guessing the average mumsnetter doesn't buy their wine in boxes 🤔 🤣

Parents brought cans of G&T to our sports day. But that’s middle class so is ok…..

It’s that she wasn’t drinking with friends, she hadn’t opened a bottle to share, it wasn’t a glass at home to chill, it was ‘I must take wine with me, and only for me’ that’s not good.

You would be surprised how common this is. When my dc were small, there was a mum who lived round the corner from the playground who used to just go back and fill up mugs for all of us with pretty much neat gin (grim!). And lots of parents would just go get drinks from the pub and bring them over to the playground.

Does it mean she’s drinking too much? Probably. Do you do anything about it? Not unless you’re going to do something about all the mums drinking bottles of Prosecco at someone’s house after school or the dads drinking beer at the Sunday BBQ while the kids run around unsupervised. You’d be amazed how many of the parents you know from school are drinking too much, and need to stop and are questioning their drinking. I know because I’m a recovering alcoholic, so I see it t and people come to talk to me about it when they can’t talk to anyone else.

You don’t think it’s a bit weird to be walking around swigging wine from a water bottle as you go about your business?

Report it please.
My husband grew up with a mother who would drink “to get through the day” and has no problem in telling me/laughing that she would drink DAILY when her kids were young but she was fine blah blah blah 🙄 …..funnily I’ve been told stories that she would pass out when she got home from the school run (my husband found her lying on the floor and couldn’t wake her so thought she was dead!) and even to this day she finds NOTHING wrong with this! My husband is scared due to her drinking and neglect but is not able to speak to his mother about it due to feeling shame and as though her drinking is his fault!
If this woman can’t do the school pick up without a drink then she has a problem and it will be effecting her parenting when they all go home.

She wasn't walking about she was sat in the park with friends