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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want DH to stay with me in hospital after I’ve given birth?

752 replies

Netball01 · 20/09/2024 17:37

I’m having an ELCS in a few weeks time & we’ve been told I’ll need to stay in overnight. DH is adamant that he will go home as there
is no point both of us getting a rubbish night’s sleep. Apparently everyone he knows has left their wives over night and they’ve been fine.

AIBU to put my foot down and insist he stays with me? I’m worried that after a c section I’ll be really sore and struggle picking baby up etc and I know these days the midwives are very stretched so can’t rely on them to help all night.

Just to add as I know partners staying overnight is controversial on here - everyone has their own private room at my hospital. Which is another reason I want him to stay as they’ll be no one around to help if the nurses aren’t answering the buzzers.

OP posts:
TheTwirlyPoos · 28/09/2024 18:08

Mandaxx25 · 27/09/2024 14:36

Yes you're being unreasonable. He's not the patients, you and baby are. Midwives are not so stretched that they can't help you with your little one. What do you think us parents of more than 1 do? I was in hospital for 5 days with my last and nobody came to see me. My husband couldn't even come because he had the kids and kids aren't allowed on the wards at all in winter. No one to mind them for him either. You're a grown woman you'll be fine for one night. Plenty of us have a child or two ill while nursing a newborn through the night and neither parent gets any sleep to then be up with the rest in the morning. I'm not trying to say I'm better than you or anything, just trying to show you that others are dealing with a lot more and able to.

Wtf has any of that got to do with the OP? Just a load of competitive hardship which doesn't address the issue of OP's husband not wanting to be there.

MN at its worst.

brunettemic · 28/09/2024 18:12

I’d have loved the option. It would be good if he could, I hate the fact that men are essentially taught by the hospital from birth that they don’t matter enough to stay with their new child and support the mother by having tk go home.

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