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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you become pregnant at 47 if....

677 replies

Noangelbuthavingfun · 20/09/2024 12:19

*Also posted in pregnancy

You desperately know you've always wanted a 2nd child and it never went away ... tried but failed many times.... would you go for donor eggs and partner sperm and just do it ? Many celebrities do it late into 40s.... its now or never. I'm just thinking you regret the things you never did... aibu to just do it ? Has anyone you know or have you done this ??

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 20/09/2024 12:20

No, becuse I know what peri menopause feels like, and I wouldn’t want to have a toddler/child at the same time

Shithairconundrum · 20/09/2024 12:21

No. I would graciously accept the one I have and be thankful I won't be in my 60s with a teenager. I understand why you're feeling that way bit strong broodiness could be your body doing a last hurrah before you hit menopause.

OilLamp · 20/09/2024 12:22

No. Chances of disabilities significantly increase the older you get.

Rickrolypoly · 20/09/2024 12:22

100% no. I think that you have to think of your child too. You'd be 50 years old when they are 2. Could you imagine that.

CrouchingTigerHiddenChocolate · 20/09/2024 12:23

Absolutely not, I'm 44 and couldn't imagine being in peri and having a baby at all. It would be brutal on the body as well.

Celebrities are millionares and can afford the best of the best in health care and hospitals and nannies etc.

DustyLee123 · 20/09/2024 12:23

In my late 40’s I went sex mad and wanted another baby, but I know now that it was hormones making me feel that way.

twilightcafe · 20/09/2024 12:24

You're too old.

Cobblersorchard · 20/09/2024 12:24

No, it’s not fair on the child. They deserve younger parents that are in a relationship.

We are older parents (41 and 46 at birth) but I think 47 is too old.

BlondeFool · 20/09/2024 12:25

Absolutely not. I'm 51 and couldn't deal with a toddler.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/09/2024 12:25

No. I had a baby in my mid 40s, it wrecked my body and triggered early menopause.

cartwheelsandhandstands · 20/09/2024 12:26

No I wouldn’t. I would focus on what I do have and live life to the full.

Celebrities who do it, do so for all of the wrong reasons. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 20/09/2024 12:26

God, absolutely not.

Frozenberries · 20/09/2024 12:26

No I really wouldn’t. I think it would be exhausting. I would concentrate on the one you have

Original poster
Noangelbuthavingfun · 20/09/2024 12:27

Cobblersorchard · 20/09/2024 12:24

No, it’s not fair on the child. They deserve younger parents that are in a relationship.

We are older parents (41 and 46 at birth) but I think 47 is too old.

But if you had a baby at 46 what's a year or 2 most older ?? Not really in bigger scheme I think?
Do u regret 2nd at 46?

OP posts:
MrsApplepants · 20/09/2024 12:27

No. 47 is too old. Sorry

Definitelynotme2022 · 20/09/2024 12:27

No I wouldn't. I had ds12 (I have 4 x dc) at 41 and it was really hard work, even compared to having dd when I was 36.

I'm now 54 and dealing with a stroppy and hormonal 12 year old! He's just started year 8 so we have 4 more years of school to get through, 2 years of college and then possibly uni. That takes me to completely supporting him into my mid-60's..... Although he was very much planned and wanted, I didn't think about that at the time!

mrlistersgelfbride · 20/09/2024 12:28

I wouldn't actively try for a baby at 47, no. I know people accidentally get pregnant at this age and I'd keep the pregnancy if it happened to me.
But I'm sure it'd be very hard work.

TakeMe2Insanity · 20/09/2024 12:28

I’ve just had my second child at 47. I had my first at 40. It was literally our final ivf attempt. I say this in every thread I would have absolutely have loved to have had my children earlier but life doesn’t work like that. I am delighted that we’ve now got two children and I don’t ever have to be pregnant again.

We had a lot of wondering before the final attempt and the questionwas could we live in peace if we only had one child? A lot of people will post on this thread having had children younger and that gives a different thought process and mindset (some are very ready to be grandparents at 45) but having been in your position this was the question I asked myself. No one else can answer it for you or know what your life has been like.

OolongTeaDrinker · 20/09/2024 12:28

I guess it depends how old your first child is - if they are over 10 then no, but under then why not if you have the emotional and financial resources. Lots of people are living full and healthy lives into their 80s now, so you would likely to still be around until they reached independent adulthood. One of my friends died aged 33 leaving two young kids behind, and my DH's mum died when he was 10 in her thirties. Good luck if you decide to go for it.

Original poster
Noangelbuthavingfun · 20/09/2024 12:29

It's not a last hurrah or hormonal for me ... I've yearned for it since the day we started trying for no. 2. It's an emptiness I feel never goes away. I fill it with material and stupid stuff and the hole is never full its even worse now my son is a teenager

OP posts:
Cobblersorchard · 20/09/2024 12:29

Noangelbuthavingfun · 20/09/2024 12:27

But if you had a baby at 46 what's a year or 2 most older ?? Not really in bigger scheme I think?
Do u regret 2nd at 46?

Show quote history

I was 41, DH was 46. He finds it hard now at 51. There’s a big difference between 41 and 47. I’m 46 and wouldn’t have another one now.

I have one, there’s no second!

DutchCowgirl · 20/09/2024 12:29

Not with donor eggs and sperm. When i am not going to be genetically related to the kid anyway, i’d be better off with fostercare.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 20/09/2024 12:29

No. Egg donation is full of ethical failings.

goestheweasel · 20/09/2024 12:29

Very unlikely, though my answer might change if the other child was still under 4.

Beamur · 20/09/2024 12:30

No. I was pretty late (baby at 36) but the thought of having a child still at primary school now I'm in my 50's is not at all appealing.
DD is already very aware that DH and I are older than some of her friends parents and it does upset her that we won't be around as long.
I can entirely understand the desire for another child but I'm not sure it's a great thing for a child to have parents with such a big age gap.