Is my child’s school being extremely unreasonable?

[RainbowSlidders]

As the title says, I am so bloody angry/upset right now I don’t want to respond until I have had confirmation that they are being as unreasonable as I think.

I lost my dad on Sunday late evening, he lived 300+ miles away including a ferry journey we rushed down Friday AFTER school and drove back early hours of Monday morning all kids attended school Monday. This was a very unexpected death, he had not been ill and was very active and health for a 78 year old. He suffered a brain haemorrhage, the bleed was massive and catastrophic.

Due to cultural differences the funeral lasts 7 days, I understand this is not the norm and my children won’t be attending the full 7 days. The service will take place Thursday, I submitted a leave of absence form for Wed/Thurs/Fri due to the journey. The attendance officer from my son’s school has just rang and been extremely unpleasant, said it will be unauthorised as it’s not viewed by the school as an exceptional circumstance and we will be charged £160 fine as my son had a week off in July for surgery. I made it clear I did not agree and the fine won’t change my mind I was going to my dad’s funeral. I also said it was exceptional circumstances as you only die once, maybe not my finest moment but it was the least rude thing I could think of.

Am I being ridiculous? I have been feeling really off since Sunday, crying on and off for no particular reason so not sure if it is actually me being unreasonable. Monday after dropping the younger 2 at school I had to drop my eldest daughter off at university for her first day which was also very emotional for us both.

This is copied from the code

school week means any week in which there is at least one school session. This can be met with any combination of unauthorised absence (e.g. 4 sessions of holiday taken in term time plus 6 sessions of arriving late after the register closes all within 10 school weeks). These sessions can be consecutive (e.g. 10 sessions of holiday in one week) or not (e.g. 6 sessions of unauthorised absence taken in 1 week and 1 per week for the next 4 weeks). The period of 10 school weeks can also span different terms or school years (e.g. 2 sessions of unauthorised absence in the Summer Term and a further 8 within the Autumn Term).

The 5 days do not need to be consecutive nor do the weeks.

Although even for a Christian burial that would only work if they can teleport the 300 miles there and back in a day. Schools need to recognise the distance involved in going to a funeral as well as the day itself.

Hope the funeral went ok and the school have authorised the absence now.

"Unauthorised" is the key word here.
Absences get classified and coded, generally why you have to send a note in.
Don't know if it's the same now but form tutors could code ordinary, easily recognisable stuff eg a sick note, less common codes get allocated by someone in the pastoral system.
No note, no justifiable explanation (holiday not justifiable in most cases) = "Unauthorised"
In this case there is clear justification and the AO is on a power trip

We would allow a day for the funeral with some proof and the two travel days would depend on the situation around any previous time off.

Sorry not meaning to be picky as I agreed with the rest of your post, but how would this work? If the child has had previous time off (like my child with post-viral fatigue) then they wouldn't be allowed the travel days? Surely the funeral is either 300 miles away or it's not - if it is then the kids can't teleport there. Sorry I'm just getting frustrated with the whole attendance thing!!

I am so sorry about your Dad (similar with my mum some years ago ), I sure it feels very unreal now...

I want to shout from rooftops... School is being bloody, hideously, revoltingly unreasonable.... This is not what the rules are for... How dare you be spoken to in such a rude uncompassionate manner..

You'll have so much upset and stuff in your head currently, so do you have a local pal who can draft a complaint letter together over next few days...?

I
Of course you need to be free to grieve and your kids should have option to attend the cultural rituals in your community for their grandfather.

I wish you strength over next months and my condolences.

Let your child stay off the days required & ignore the fine if it arrives. Take it to court if they try & enforce payment. Give the reasons why your child didn't attend & let them know you thought it was hypocritical after the school was closed for a staff members funeral meaning all of the kids missed a day of education.

If you get a fine please don't ignore it as it becomes £160 per child per parent.

Any second occasion starts at £160 without any reduction

I'm a governor and 100% agree with corksoles. I don't think the school have a leg to stand on if it went further

I've never heard of this - do all schools do it nowadays? What happens if you don't pay?

My GM (kids GGM) died last year. We had two days off for her funeral then and I am taking them out for a day before the half term as we are travelling back home (other side of the country) to scatter her ashes in a couple of weeks. I didn't ask their permission, because not a fucking chance am I asking permission to do something with MY children, but I told them this is what I'm doing. If they'd kicked up a fuss, if have taken it as far as I needed to go.

As it was, all three schools said no problem and said how lovely it was we could all spend time together with out extended family.

I'm sorry for your loss.

@Elsvieta I think the administration of fees is down to local authority not the schools

Worst case scenario

If you’re taken to court
You could get a fine of up to £2,500, a community order or a jail sentence up to 3 months. The court could also give you a Parenting Order.
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