Is my child’s school being extremely unreasonable?

[RainbowSlidders]

As the title says, I am so bloody angry/upset right now I don’t want to respond until I have had confirmation that they are being as unreasonable as I think.

I lost my dad on Sunday late evening, he lived 300+ miles away including a ferry journey we rushed down Friday AFTER school and drove back early hours of Monday morning all kids attended school Monday. This was a very unexpected death, he had not been ill and was very active and health for a 78 year old. He suffered a brain haemorrhage, the bleed was massive and catastrophic.

Due to cultural differences the funeral lasts 7 days, I understand this is not the norm and my children won’t be attending the full 7 days. The service will take place Thursday, I submitted a leave of absence form for Wed/Thurs/Fri due to the journey. The attendance officer from my son’s school has just rang and been extremely unpleasant, said it will be unauthorised as it’s not viewed by the school as an exceptional circumstance and we will be charged £160 fine as my son had a week off in July for surgery. I made it clear I did not agree and the fine won’t change my mind I was going to my dad’s funeral. I also said it was exceptional circumstances as you only die once, maybe not my finest moment but it was the least rude thing I could think of.

Am I being ridiculous? I have been feeling really off since Sunday, crying on and off for no particular reason so not sure if it is actually me being unreasonable. Monday after dropping the younger 2 at school I had to drop my eldest daughter off at university for her first day which was also very emotional for us both.

My condolences to you all. 💔
Bloody school Jobsworth! You've notified the school by completing an absence form. And you're told it would be an unauthorised leave and you'll be fined. Me, I'd tell them to swivel if they thought I'd paying a fine for taking my children out of school to attending their grandads funeral. 😡

I am so sorry for your loss, OP. I no longer have children in school but I am appalled at the lack of compassion these days and the way children are treated as numbers to fulfil some target, irrespective of what is happening in their lives. When you are stronger you should complain in the strongest terms. Do not back down on this. You are in the right. Everyone you meet just now should be treating you and your children with the utmost compassion. I hope the next few days are not too stressful and you have the opportunity to grieve in peace.

Refuse to pay the fine and demand to go to the magistrates court and let them decide. In reality I think the attendance mafia will drop it rather than be shown to be stupid. Get advice from a decent solicitor

You should not be fined for taking your kids to a funeral, especially a grandparent. Also, sickness is not counted as unauthorised absence. Complain. And keep complaining. Do not pay this fine.

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know that I do this for a job in a secondary school… firstly, If you provided medical evidence for the absence in July, this is legally authorised. If they haven’t authorised it, they have made a mistake. Therefore if they tried to use those days against you, your local authority would not allow it anyway. If you didn’t provide evidence, they are allowed to mark this as ‘unauthorised’ but you can still request some ‘proof’ for them at any time and they will have to change your marks to medical marks.

Also, you have to have 5 unauthorised days off school in a ten week period for the school to submit a fine to the local authority… the 3 day funeral alone won’t amount to that on its own anyway. They can add those 3 days to any other unauthorised days if they wish though..

So all in all, they might try to issue you with a fixed penalty, but they won’t have a leg to stand on if you contact your local authority with evidence/reason for absence.

Also…. For what it’s worth.. jobs worth Jane is on minimum wage with very little job satisfaction. Trust me. I know! 😂

Are you Jewish, OP? It’s not clear whether you might be referring to seven days of mourning (I.e. like the Jewish Shiva), or the actual funeral lasting for 7 days. If your family is Jewish you can also contact an organisation/charity like Campaign Against Antisemitism; I have some knowledge of their work and know they have helped before when Jewish families have been discriminated against by school attendance policies - like not authorising time off for religious days etc. They have a legal team and also a specialist education liaison unit, and have helped families make complaints to schools, joined in meetings between families and schools as advocates, and even taken it as far as (pro bono) legal assistance/action in severe cases. If you are not Jewish, it’s possible that there may be similar organisations/charities that provide support in cases of discrimination against your culture. Worth looking into because this is definitely discrimination. Sorry about your dad.

Crikey, talk about heartless
I'm so sorry for your loss

This severity over school absence must be an English thing, as I've never heard of it here in Scotland.

Can they fine you at all? I've never even heard of that? Surely there's no way to enforce it?

Absolutely ridiculous, I'd be fuming.

Wow! That’s completely unreasonable of them. I’m so sorry you’re going through this at such a difficult time. I had to travel abroad for my Dads funeral with my 2 Primary aged kids. Their school were great and authorised a week (luckily the second week was half term) -they didn’t hesitate. They were so lovely and even sent their condolences.
Focus on the funeral for now and how you’re feeling. You don’t need this while you’re in the early stages of grieving.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and that you had to contend with this obnoxious person in the middle of your grief.I think this is discrimination, based on your culture/religion which is unlawful. It’s not as if you’re going away on holiday or keeping off for frivolous reasons. The school cannot ’charge’ you for taking your child out of school. This would likely be a matter for the LEA, and in any case you can appeal on grounds of your religion. Hugs,

I am in charge of attendance at my school. This is an exceptional event which means they can give authorisation. This is not a holiday and the week your child had off for surgery is irrelevant as it was for medical reasons and you’ll have evidence of that. I’ll be honest, the DFE is really putting pressure on schools to ensure children are in school, but the attendance officer is overstepping a bit. Speak to the senior leader responsible for attendance (they will likely reassure you - I sometimes have to overrule my attendance officer in situations like this.) I’m so sorry for your loss.

I'm inclined to think this could be a breach of the Equality Act as the length of time needed is because of race/religion and these are protected characteristics under the said law. For example, a Christian burial or funeral service or one for someone without a religion would only need a few hours but probably a day of absence (by comparison).

this woman has said I need to write her a formal letter “explaining myself.”
I would take this further and put a formal complaint in about her behaviour towards you at a time like this, you're hardly bunking off to Disneyland!

Absolutely hideous that the AO mentioned a medical absence (which is authorised when documented) in the same breath.
FFS they can code this as religious observance absence or compassionate before going into unauthorised territory.
Straight to the head and then to governors if you don't get a reply that is both prompt and compassionate.
I'm speaking as an ex form teacher btw

As a retired Heasteacher I'd say that's off the wall unreasonable!

Meltdown Hopefully an email to the deputy head stating the issue and the policy and treatening OFTSED and involving the board of govenors should lead to a prompt aology, authorisaiton of absense and a some further training for the attedance officer

I agree with the above as initial actions. If no success inform LA; write formal complaint to governors/Academy trustees; contact Ofsted with formal expression of concern. But before all hat focus on your family and the funeral.

Sorry for your loss and I hope the funeral goes as you would wish for your dad 💐

Wow! I can’t believe I’m reading this! The school is being wholly unreasonable!! I’m so sorry for your loss! You absolutely need to complain to the governors! It’s dispicable behaviour from them

Agree, also a governor 😊

The 10 absences do not need to be in one occasion but over a time frame.

Speak to school about what evidence is needed to have the UA changed to Sick. They may be missing some paperwork.

The new law started in August and I think it is unfair to use the time off before the change with time after the change.

We would allow a day for the funeral with some proof and the two travel days would depend on the situation around any previous time off.

The guidance changed Aug 19.

The national threshold for when it's appropriate to consider a penalty notice is 10 sessions of unauthorised absence in a rolling period of 10 school weeks.
The 10 weeks can be consecutive or not, and can span different terms or academic years.

As a PP said, complain to the board of governors. I was also a governor, looking at the human element I am sure they will reconsider. I'm sorry for your loss.

I’m not sure that is correct. I read it as it’s the 10 sessions that don’t have to be consecutive, not the weeks. If the weeks aren’t consecutive, I’m not sure how it would count as a rolling period.

I think what Annony331 is trying to say is that the 10 weeks can span two terms. It is 10 consecutive school weeks, so weeks when the school is on holiday don't count. It could be the last 4 weeks of the summer term and the first 6 weeks of the autumn term, for example.