Could this be passive aggressive fat shaming?

[Blueberryancakes]

Im a UK 20 and I feel the heat. I’m always a bit warm. My work gets very hot. Big windows and no ventilation.

I rarely put the air con on because as soon as I do some of the woman I work with complain it’s too cold. I bring a desk fan to
work with me and keep it aimed at me and no one else.
I work at a doctors surgery. Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.Very often woman patients always make a comment on my fan saying how they could never work with a fan as they’d be freezing. If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.
I think FFS it’s not you that has to sit in here all day. Men never complain, never comment. It’s mainly middle aged
woman. Yes I’m fat, yes I get hot. I try my best to have a small discreet fan on my desk. But woman seem to make such a song and dance about it.
My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat.
Anyone else think there’s any truth in this?
Is it a way to come across ultra feminine to be cold?
Sorry if this come across bonkers?

I don't see the connection, sorry

Has it ever occurred to you that some people do indeed get cold easily? I am one of them! Sorry if it appears that I’m trying to be ‘ultra feminine’.. 🤨

Not everything is a personal attack..

No, she's just a colder person. Why are you looking to be a victim?

Yes I think it is I'm afraid. I also think being competitively cold is a thing especially among women...and I think it's linked to this issue

Oooufff I've dealt with office air con wars and had to mediate some. I really don't think it's a weight thing.

I'm size 20 and genuinely don't care either way ~ I reckon the extra padding means I don't get too hot or cold (unless it's a huge extreme!). The two who used to battle it out the most were both size 8 maybe? Very slender and sat next to each other. One was always freezing, the other boiling. Nightmare! They had to sit next to each other too.

Well I'm 'middle aged' and hot one minute cold the next..... menopause

Or you’re just overly self conscious and looking to be the victim?

What a ridiculous thread. Some people run hot, others run cold. It’s a fact of life.

I have a friend who's a size 20 and she's always cold. So no, it's not pass agg.

Not sure about the 'fat shaming' or PA - it's possible I guess that there's a bit of a dig going on, but probably more likely that it's just down to body temperature incompatibility. I hate being cold and would probably be a bit grumpy in a cold work environment. Is your fan bothering anyone?

Your colleagues saying they're cold is their way of passively aggressively calling you fat? Eh?!

I'm confused. Which part of what these people are saying is fat shaming @Blueberryancakes ???

God this, I have (probably, its undiagnosed) Raynauds and also underactive thyroid. Im freezing all the time and its painful, distressing and depressing.

From puberty to menopause I was the one who wore jeans, coats and boots in summer when others had tshirts, shorts and flip-flops. After menopause I am the one in t-shirts and flip-flops in winter when others wear coats or oodies.

I weigh the same. It's just down to female hormones which fluctuate all the time which is why the men don't say anything, as their male hormones don't particularly change .

I am permanently cold. And a middle-aged woman. I am thin but I don’t know if that plays a part. I know I feel the cold more than most people so I never ever expect anyone to adapt to me. I wrap up and take a hot water bottle to work.

I have never thought that me feeling cold was a réfection of anyone else’s weight.

I actually think there is a competitive edge to people who ‘brag’ about needing the windows open all day/night and who just love being outdoorsy and playing with the kids outside in all weathers. The ‘no such thing as the wrong weather’ crowd.

No not at all, I feel the cold easily and I’d never be thinking about someone’s weight when commenting on temperature

It’s well proven that women on average feel the cold more than men do, which accounts for the lack of complaining on the men’s part. You don’t feel the cold either for the reason you have identified.

If women complain about feeling cold it is because they feel cold. It is not a fake complaint in an attempt to passive-aggressively fat shame you because nobody cares that much about whether you are fat or not.

Wow. I perm have a fan on, always have. Sometimes been overweight, sometimes not. None of the comments about my fan have ever been related to weight. How strange.

Competitively cold?

say what?

How rude. Some people just feel the cold. I moan about the cold far less than others around me moan about the heat. And I don’t notice their weight or food intake and don’t make a connection. Unlike you.

Me neither, genuinely. If a colleague had a fan on in the office and I was cold I would comment on it, regardless of whether they were a size 8 or a size 20!

I think the pertinent point here is why your DH said this to you. It seems rather cruel and unnecessary to assign motives to what is general chit chat in office about the temperature.

I'm a cold creature, always have been. I've never considered it to be a particularly 'feminine' trait. I don't think I would comment on your fan but maybe in small talk I would say it was cold, it wouldn't be a dig at you, it probably wouldn't occur to me that you are controlling the aircon and making it cold nevermind think about your weight in relation to the temperature. Thats a lot of thinking for a casual interaction.

Shaming people for being skinny doesn't make you a better person, it makes you just as bad as anyone who fat shames.

Charming