Who is BU? Kids had noro, their dad is refusing to take them to school

[biohazardservant]

I'll try to keep it brief -

Kids came down with noro on Thur-sat. No symptoms since late sat evening.

One child puked on me. I'm now having noro symptoms and am physically too unwell to take them to school in the morning due to vomiting.

Their dad and I don't live together. He has a new baby with his new girlfriend. He's refusing point blank to take the kids to school in case the baby catches it and won't listen when I say the kids are now absolutely fine.

School is saying they must go in tomorrow if they're no longer ill.

I don't have anyone else to ask.

Genuinely can't tell if I'm BU at the moment or if he is.

But so what if the school are “on your case”? You say that unfortunately they will not be in as you are too unwell to take them, their father has refused and there is no one else. It will go down as an unauthorised absence. So what?

just stand up to the school.
don't them harass you.
you are ill, you cannot leave your house, you cannot take the children to school.
soon as you can, you will.
just email them. don't discuss it.

Why would they be on your case already, they only missed 2 days (assuming it was 2 or was it 1?) due to a highly contagious virus? Sounds really suspect.

And if there's no one to take them then it's simples.

This!
How selfish and bitter you come across, he’s 100% doing the right thing protecting his baby and girlfriend.

What if the new baby was living in the same house?

Sorry, I do empathise with your situation, it sounds awful but I voted that YABU. Simply because I took my 12 month old baby to A&E the other week because he had noro and it was terrible. Poor little thing really suffered with it (and with the blood tests he had to have ). So on balance, I think it’s probably better to be play it safe.

But the new baby is not living in the same house so what's the point of your question?! Why expose a baby to norovirus when there's no need?

@Happii if you don't take the kids in then they won't be spending all day with your kids in school! Because they won't be there.

It might come as a surprise to you but plenty of parents have no-one they can ask. We never did; it was us or nobody. Who's going to want to risk norovirus anyway when the children's own father won't?

I don’t understand how everyone always says they’ve got norovirus. How do you know? Aren’t the symptoms the same as other d&v bugs?

Then I imagine everyone would be very worried.

But the new baby isn't in the same house and can easily be protected from this exposure

He is an absolute imbecile. I hope you feel better soon OP.
Him choosing to carry on reproducing is nothing to do with your children. He is responsible for them too. What would he do if they came down with NV while on a contact weekend with him?
So sorry OP.

I think I'd want to protect a newborn too.

If you are too ill I'd just tell a small lie to the school and say they had another bout of diarrhea tonight so you need to stick to their guidelines of 48 hrs. Id keep mine off if it was still going around the household as they could still spread it on their hands etc

Exaggerating an extra bout of d/v if the school are on your case (or are you deliberately insisting they are fine to the school to stir ex) is hardly the same as making up an illness to take them out for the day.

This, OP said they were totally fine wed and Thurs so can only have been off Friday and today? Unless they're constantly off can't see the school being interested at all.

Just tell the school they were sick again tonight if you're too ill to take them tomorrow.

But what about his responsibility to his other children? He's going to have to learn to balance that somehow.

DH and I had Norovirus simultaneously a few years ago. He shat, I puked. Very bonding experience 😭🤣

Two days after the symptoms passed, we went out to the pub to celebrate a friend's birthday. Over the next couple days, three (!) people from the party messaged me about their "horrendous illness". Luckily, no one knew to blame us for spreading the virus - we hadn't told anyone. But I did feel guilty about it.

I'd never do that again - mix with people mere two days after a serious bout of Norovirus. I'd give it at least 4-5 days. And so I wouldn't send my children to school and I most definitely wouldn't risk passing the virus to a newborn.

School can insist they go in all they want but they're not going to be coming over to pick them up are they?

If you can't find anybody else to take them and you are really still too sick in the morning then they will have to stay home.

Is there a class WhatsApp or Facebook page? Maybe if you message now another parent might be able to take your kids in the morning?

@EverybodyWantsTo that's not what she said at all. They should have been off today anyway as they were ill Thursday-Saturday

And what about his existing children? Don't they matter now?

Could you ask a neighbour to take them to school, or a parent of one of their friends? If you are feeling that ill, you really don't need them under your feet all day. You might feel well enough to collect them or arrange something with another friend.

Why would the school be on your case? If you told them today last symptoms were Saturday night, you can just as easily phone tomorrow morning and say ummm sorry was a bit of a relapse on Monday and so the 48hr clock has reset so they won’t be in until Thursday at the earliest.

You can self-certify that your children are too sick for school for over a week.

Could the kids go in by taxi? As their dad has said he'll pick them up.

Or tell school there is an infection risk of them carrying it from you, into school, as you are so unwell.

Yes, but not by unnecessarily exposing a very young baby to norovirus.

BTW how do you know it's norovirus?