Who is BU? Kids had noro, their dad is refusing to take them to school

[biohazardservant]

I'll try to keep it brief -

Kids came down with noro on Thur-sat. No symptoms since late sat evening.

One child puked on me. I'm now having noro symptoms and am physically too unwell to take them to school in the morning due to vomiting.

Their dad and I don't live together. He has a new baby with his new girlfriend. He's refusing point blank to take the kids to school in case the baby catches it and won't listen when I say the kids are now absolutely fine.

School is saying they must go in tomorrow if they're no longer ill.

I don't have anyone else to ask.

Genuinely can't tell if I'm BU at the moment or if he is.

Just tell the school you’re too sick to take that and their father has refused. It’s one day, it really doesn’t matter. My daughter’s attendance was less than 70% in year 9 due to illness and she walked out this year with all 9’s. One days absence is not going to affect their education, despite what the school might say.

How can the school “insist”? Were the kids off school today? I think 48hrs should be strictly adhered to and an extra day or two beyond that is a bonus to ensure further protection for everyone. Im not sure why/how school are insisting, unless the kids have missed a lot of days already/last year? The teachers won’t thank you if it does end up spreading 🥴
I’d stay away if I was ex h too (sorry I am an emetophobe and I would really go out of my way to avoid this bug)
hope you recover quickly!

Sorry OP but I agree with those saying he’s not being unreasonable. It is however totally unreasonable to expect him to expose his newborn baby to norovirus. There’s no way in hell I’d risk it if i was him or his girlfriend.

Reluctantly I agree with him. You shouldn't be exposing a new baby to noro if it can be helped and chances are that they're not fully over it and may still be contagious. I'm surprised he's happy to have them after school.

That doesn't mean he's not generally a shit dad and a waste of oxygen, but I don't think he's being unreasonable on this occasion. The baby won't be tiny and vulnerable for very long, but they are at the moment.

Just tell school the kids are still under the weather and won't be in.

That’s not true. It’s 15 days. Search and read the official guidance.

I know this sounds pedantic but hand sanitizer/ anti bac has no effect on the Norovirus .
Only posting to clear up a common misconception.

that may be, but they will likely still have the bug in the system

I can understand his point to be fair, he has a young baby to think about.

How do you take them to school? Drive or walk? If you drive them do you need to leave the car?

I don’t understand the drama, the school has zero idea when the kids noro symptoms stop. You’re not going to be fined if you just say you all have noro.

I’d just write a sick note for them until you are over the noro yourself.

I don’t think your ex is being a wanker or unreasonable, I would not risk noro getting anywhere near a newborn and it is a highly contagious disease. Even nurses in hospitals wearing gloves and masks are picking it up and passing it on- my friend who is a nurse has said noro is going round a lot right now- and then she gave it to me simply by being in the my garden for a cup of tea and a chat.

You might be able in the morning. When I've had Noro it's been really intense for the first 12 hours and then calms down a bit so I could prob manage a dash to shovel them into school and back home to collapse. I'd kind of prefer this higher risk dash over having them at home all day when they're healthy but I feel like shit as at least you could rest for the remainder of day. But if you're unable then just say they're not well, there's no other choice if dad is unwilling (and I do think it's a bit shit, baby or not and makes no sense if he's happy having them overnight anyway, does he thinking 6 hours will make the difference?)

It's shit so I sympathise.

He's doing the right thing

Absolutely! Screams of bitterness! Take them to school or don't, but don't dare try and make him out to be unreasonable for not risking a newborns health! I'm sure you'd not have risked your own babies by needlessly exposing them.

Noroviris I'd incredibly contagious for up to a week. I'd want to give you all a wide bearth and understand where he's coming from especially with the baby. Surprised the teachers think they should come in already.

Just lie and say the kids are puking ?

Sorry OP but I don't believe school are "insisting" your kids go in tomorrow, that sounds very odd.
Just call in the morning and say they aren't being sick any more but didn't sleep well, feel too weak to go in and need another day to recover. If you authorise their absence and it's under a week school will be fine, they aren't going to call you a liar.

I think you are just angry at your ex's attitude which must feel so irritating especially when you are ill and need the kids out of your hair.

But I agree with the other posters; he needs to take extra care with a small baby and is right to keep his distance while you are still unwell.

It's not a great situation at all and I hope you are all better soon but keep them off tomorrow & let them watch films/TV if you physically can't take them in. Driving while that unwell is too risky and dangerous.

I'm completely with him. No way would I want to risk a young baby getting it and while you shouldn't be contagious after 48 hours many still are unfortunately.

My youngest caught noro from my older child’s nursery at about 8 months when all I did was pop him on the floor for a couple of minutes. I didn’t know there was noro in the toddler room and my older child hadn’t had it. My baby was hospitalised. YABU

I wouldn't do it if I had a small baby I'm afraid. They may have no symptoms but they could easily transfer germs from you to him.
I would just tell the school they still aren't well enough.

I don’t blame him with a new baby. They could still be contagious. Just keep them at home, why the drama?

Send that message screenshot to the school and say that there is nothing else you can but if they are that bothered about another day a teacher is welcome to take them and bring them home again. Email it now and then think no more of it.

Wishing you better soon.

You're being unreasonable. I wouldn't be happy at all if you asked me to do this!

You must have someone else to ask??? Friends of the children for eg??! You simply cannot go through primary with no one you can ask to help.

I'm taking someone else's kid to school tomorrow , I've done it quite a few times. Don't even know them that well, but they asked on the group whatsapp and I was happy to oblige.

Because the school are on my case to send them in and there's nothing wrong with them now.

Why would you risk catching norovirus to take someone else's kids to school when they can just stay home and avoid passing it on though? I agree OP is BU toward the dad, but your idea is a bit daft too.

I don't. We don't live near anyone else who goes to the school. My friends are working. My parents love over an hour away and don't drive.

I mean if its someone in one of their classes their children will be spending all day with them anyway!

I don't really get why he'd be okay with them after school and sleeping over, that's surely much more of a risk than just driving them to school, in the back seats with the windows open if he so desires.