Who is BU? Kids had noro, their dad is refusing to take them to school

[biohazardservant]

I'll try to keep it brief -

Kids came down with noro on Thur-sat. No symptoms since late sat evening.

One child puked on me. I'm now having noro symptoms and am physically too unwell to take them to school in the morning due to vomiting.

Their dad and I don't live together. He has a new baby with his new girlfriend. He's refusing point blank to take the kids to school in case the baby catches it and won't listen when I say the kids are now absolutely fine.

School is saying they must go in tomorrow if they're no longer ill.

I don't have anyone else to ask.

Genuinely can't tell if I'm BU at the moment or if he is.

Usually the guidelines are usually stay away from school for 48-72 hours after the last bout of d or v, which would mean your kids shouldn’t be at school until Tuesday if they have had their last bout on Sat eve anyway so why would school insist them to be in on the Monday?

I wouldn’t want to expose a newborn to Boro either. He probably thinks they could still be infectious (and maybe that you’d try to infect him somehow) but if they manage a full day at school not being ill he will pick them up which I think is reasonable. It sucks that you have nobody to help you out here though. I expect you probably can drive tomorrow if you don’t eat overnight there’s not much left to vomit. It won’t be nice but you could also ask a friend or schoolmates parent to help.

His mother is the one who gave it to my children and he hasn't been avoiding her.🤷🏻‍♀️

Realistically I think you have to take them if you can’t rely on your ex to do it - have a sick bucket on the passenger seat and just drop them off without getting out of the car. I drove my children to and from primary school (10 min drive down twisty country lanes) all through chemo, when I felt like I was dying. I took it slowly and the children learned independence by going into and coming out of school by themselves on the days I couldn’t make it out of the car. They were 7 and 9 when I was diagnosed and I have had chemo for the last 3 years.

You do have my sympathy though, I remember catching norovirus from my eldest when he was 18 months and I got the symptoms just as he got better and returned to his happy whirlwind-y toddler self. It was a rough few days xxx

Yep sounds like an excuse to me. If he (or childs mother) was that worried then he would be avoiding her, sounds like the baby will end up with it anyway.

All you can do hope that he gets it as well and is iller than everyone else and shits his fucking kidneys.

If you are well enough to take them to the school gate. Someone suggested to ask a teacher/Receptionist to take them in school or explain you are ill and can't take them in.

I agree. Kids were ill thursday friday. School are hardly going to be questioning when they were last sick and setting a 48hour timer unless they have a cause for concern as they are never in.

You can believe what you like but I'm saying what's happened. They both had 100% attendance last year.

Given that a small baby getting sick from noro can be disastrous he’s prob right to be cautious but he’s making no effort to try and help you. Are their paternal grand parents or aunties/uncles that can help. A school parent that you could ask? There is always a chance that anyone that comes to collect the kids from your home could get sick so it maybe important to explain this to the school.

Noro virus is dangerous in small babies, I don't blame him for not wanting to risk it but I realise this goes against the tide here on everyman'sawankernet 🤷

The baby is a red herring tbh.

It's the fact that these children's father thought it appropriate to say a flat "no" but to make zero effort to help with a solution, leaving the ball entirely in his ex's court, that is unacceptable.

Why is he being a wanker? If kids have sickness bugs, then you should leave it 48 hours after they stop being ill, which would be Monday night, going back Tues. We don't have a view on their relationship, so not wanting to spread it to either himself or the whole school seems sensible to me.

The OP posted Monday night so was talking about Tuesday- it would have been more than 48 hours by school drop off.

I was surprised how much support there is for a NRP who is prioritising his 'new' family over his other children. He'd normally be flamed.

Youngest had a hospital appointment yesterday (unrelated to the noro). I've repeatedly told him the date and time but he didn't turn up for it and has just text me asking what happened saying he couldn't take time off work despite the fact I told him about the appointment at least a month ago.

with your ex your banging your head on a brick wall and expecting a different outcome than a hurt head.

You need to lower your expectations sadly. Expect that he won’t come rather than hope he actually might one day. Better to be happily surprised than let down again.

I caught it off DS once when he was a toddler. DS was so sick, as was DH. I don't seem particularly prone to stomach bugs, the previous time DH had caught noro from his family I didn't get ill at all, this time with DS I did, but I was only sick once. I felt like I had flu, aching all over, shivery. It was horrible even without frequent D&V.