Who is BU? Kids had noro, their dad is refusing to take them to school

[biohazardservant]

I'll try to keep it brief -

Kids came down with noro on Thur-sat. No symptoms since late sat evening.

One child puked on me. I'm now having noro symptoms and am physically too unwell to take them to school in the morning due to vomiting.

Their dad and I don't live together. He has a new baby with his new girlfriend. He's refusing point blank to take the kids to school in case the baby catches it and won't listen when I say the kids are now absolutely fine.

School is saying they must go in tomorrow if they're no longer ill.

I don't have anyone else to ask.

Genuinely can't tell if I'm BU at the moment or if he is.

He might be acting like a bit of a dick but he’s got a newborn so it’s hardly an issue he can just ignore.

It's taxi, see if you can manage to get them there yourself in the morning, or off sick then I'm afraid.

I'd be tempted to tell school they'd had more D&V again tonight/tomorrow morning to be honest.

Your ex isn't being that unreasonable to not want to risk a newborn with Noro. Nor not wanting to risk him or his partner getting it while looking after a newborn. As you know it is highly contagious, and even though the kids seem over it, live virus particles may still be carried by them on clothes, bags, etc.

Drive them to school, 10 min journey, dont get out if the car and they can walk from car park themselves. Sick bag just incase.

If dad has a young baby in the house he is right to be extra cautious.

It doesn't help you, OP, but I think the only one being unreasonable is the school.

Noro is awful. It's stupid to risk passing it onto anyone - never mind your ex's baby, does the school want a whole classroom to come down with it? The teachers?

These absence rules are just idiotic. Forcing kids to come in when they are still contagious just makes life harder for the other kids who wouldn't have caught it otherwise.

I would have expected whichever parent had the DC to keep them - it just so happens on this occasion it's you. If it was his night and they'd all come down with it, I'd expect him to keep them. (From what you've said so far, I doubt he actually would, but it would be the right thing to do!)

But I know exes who don't get on don't think like that.

Actually hazmat suits aren't a bad idea. They could be the answer to everyone's problems.

Schools want bums on seats so they have sparkly attendance figures when Ofsted come calling.
Parents need to work.
Teachers are fed up with catching all their students' bugs.

And in this particular case, there is a newborn to be protected.

The obvious solution is for schools to abolish authorised absence for sickness altogether and add hazmat suits to the uniform list as a compulsory item.

You have a sick child - pop them in the suit and ship them out. No need for time off for Covid, impetigo, D&V, chicken pox, HF&M or indeed anything.

You're welcome.

I do sort of understand why he doesn’t want to pass it on, albeit his way of saying it leaves much to be desired (politeness wise, I mean)

I think the school are being somewhat unreasonable- what are you supposed to do if you’re too ill to leave the house.

I’d let them know that he’s refusing to take them and you physically can’t. I’m sure you’d rather they were out of the house at school so you can just rest after all!

My In-Laws had Noro just before Christmas when my daughter was 6 months old. They swore they were better and we should still go down as they wanted to see the baby. Within 12 hours my husband was ill and I got in the car and ran for the hills - we didn't get it thankfully but I was really angry. My baby was very premature and had a weak immune system and they could have made her extremely ill.

Thank you for the information.

That's a lot of money. As if parents haven't got enough shit to contend with already without that, nice big fines to add on top of uniform and god knows what fees and donations. That's more than the family weekly food budget for a lot of familys.

Having to risk smashing your children, yourself and your car into a tree on icy roads to avoid a fine from the school is more than a tad unreasonable. While I think learning is important, not as important as staying warm, well and uninjured.

WTH is Noro?

Just take them. How do you think single parents without contact with their ex manage? I have crawled on my hands and knees to the kitchen to make dinner for my kids, I’ve loaded up in immodium and pepto bismol in preparation for the school runs and just got it over with. You just have to do it.

Seriously? Norovirus. The awful sickness but that goes around. You don’t know what that is?

No never heard of it. If I had, why would I ask?!

Really?
Unless your kids have very poor general attendance or have been off for days I find that very hard to believe.

If the baby is breastfed he is being unreasonable.

And anyway they are his children. Hoow anyone can say I'm not having my children is beyond me. If my children had norovirus I'd have them.

Anyway once youve puked tonight, don't eat, you'll be fine, get them to school go back to bed

Do you live under a rock? It’s on the news every year when there are outbreaks. GPs have posters about it telling people not to come in as they don’t need to see a doctor. It’s as common as the cold.

You didn’t even ask in a curious way. You said “what the hell” as if it was something made up or ridiculous.

And wtf is this fine lark? Never heard of it.

This. I don't think you're BU but neither is he, that can happen. You're disappointed he's not making more effort but better not to obsess over this. It won't get better.
The school is BU though.

Sorry but anyone with any sense would stay away from a household that's got/just had noro, especially when there's a tiny baby at risk.
I went to a house where they'd all recovered and caught it. It can live for weeks on surfaces and reinfect.
Keep the kids off school they're bound to still be feeling rough anyway.

Exactly. Absurd.

Not really. In a house full of norovirus the breastfed baby recovers first

Sorry my question didn’t sound curious enough to you.
nowhere did I say anything was made up or ridiculous. The only thing that’s ridiculous is what you’re saying I said. It’s not that deep

I live in Scotland. We don’t fine up here but even I know what it is.

Do you people just not watch the news anymore?

Well I always knew there were fines but I can't imagine the school enforcing it where I am... It's more for unauthorised holidays round here

Only if they have five days off, l believe

It depends how unwell - I was really sick with norovirus and kept fainting
It's not a great idea to drive if you're randomly throwing up and shitting yourself