To take this approach to parenting a toddler?

[Judinle]

DS is two. Since I went back to work when he was one, the three days he has at home (not at nursery) are always out of the house. We have a couple of hours eating breakfast and getting ready and then we shoot off somewhere… National trust, park, shopping centre, out for lunch, walk, swimming… whatever.

Recently I’ve noticed other mums commenting that I’m ’always out’ and ‘doesn’t ds ever have time at home.’ I would say once a week but not every week there may be one afternoon of a couple of hours where he’s at home but usually I get back right before dinner so again it’s dinner bath and bed with maybe 30 mins playing around that. Am I doing something wrong here? The reason I go out is I find it less stressful than at home. The idea of a day at home with him terrifies me a bit! Is this approach bad for him?

I used to do this with my eldest who was a tornado! When u was on mat leave with number 2 and home a lot more he calmed down a lot

I'm the same OP, have 2 high energy boys and find it very difficult to entertain them at home so we are all much happier out of the house. Every now and then I decide we are going o have a 'chill day' but always end up turning into shouty mum by 2pm and heading to the park to run off some steam!

@Gogogo12345, @Judinle said in one of her updates, that she is exhausted, so it sounds as if this isn't that good for her. She doesn't need to wear herself to a thread - that's not good for her or the child.

Why? It's downright boring sat at home doing nothing. And that's not even taking a toddler into account.

It would drive me mad sitting indoors watching TV every bloody evening and I'm in my 50s.

You do you!! If it's working for you then genuinely noone elses opinion matters does it?

I was very similar when I was a mum of one very high energy child. If we were at home I had to think of ways to entertain, watch him like a hawk (we don't have a 'child proofed house'), tidy the house at the end of the day etc. Vs if were out then we'd have a lovely time together, have a picnic and zero tidying up at the end of the day. It worked for us!! Then my second child was born and for a long time she much preferred being at home. If I got her coat and shoes ready she used to start wailing. So we ended up staying in more. They're in school/preschool now and I think we have a nice balance. Some days we pootle about at home, some days we're out for half the day and home for the rest, some days we're out all day. Depends on the mood, the weather, the energy levels etc. We just do what works for us. Everyone is different, has different comfort levels, different ideas of what is fun for them. So, back to 'you do you!!'

This is true but spending more time at home with a 2 year old isn't especially relaxing either. And it involves a lot of tidying and cleaning up after them too

I agree with a PP that some people have lost track of what a 2 year old is like and are thinking more of what sorts of things 3-5 year olds do at home.

I think your way sounds fine - great even. Sounds like he gets a lovely and varied time.

I remember that feeling of it being awful stuck at home with a toddler so well. Sometimes it felt like time wasn’t even passing!

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. A morning out of the house going to a playgroup or the park, for example, followed by an afternoon playing at home. Or vice versa. Sounds like perhaps you’re a little out of balance.

Most 2 year olds are a bit young for chopping and peeling, even painting and drawing only keep them occupied for 5 or 10 minutes . 2 year olds can't manage craft. You have to do it all for them.
You are probably thinking back to when your child was 3.5 or 4 which is very different.

If you have a quiet child who likes to play with their toys it might be ok but lots of 2 year olds want to spend their time running, jumping, throwing and breaking things, which is great outdoors but not when you're at home

As someone said up thread and hour until bed time can feel like an eternity!

Whatever works for you ...

It sounds just perfect, there's nothing worse than being stuck indoors with a toddler all the time.

My ds HATED being indoors. I spent all hours when he was awake, which was all the time as he rarely napped, outside. I mean….that’s historically normal for humans, to not be indoors all the time?

@Cobblersorchard honestly for me it was the unknown. We'd just never done it (a day at home) and I was daunted by the idea of it. However once I started doing it (including a lot of the tasks/activities you mentioned) or just letting them play independently etc I realised there are many wonderful aspects to having a day at home together. It can be very relaxing and I now really enjoy home days. Do think they were both older by the point I had that realisation though. Two year old tornadoes + being outside is just a winning combo!

Unless OP continues having lots more children she won't have a 2 year old for 16 years. So probably not

I'm sure he'd soon let you know if he needed some down time! If you were doing it purely for his sake I.e. we need to be out and about he shouldn't stay in then I'd say stop lumping pressure on yourself and let him potter; but if it benefits you it's not like it's harming him! It sounds like he gets time to rest and play as well at home, I'm sure if he was tired or poorly you wouldn't force him out

I recently spent a whole day indoors with my 3 and 5 year old and it was actually ok - a revelation! It wouldn't have been possible a year ago though.

I was always out when dc were toddlers. We did break in up though, morning activity, back for a 2 hour nap then something in the afternoon. The places you've listed. This was the norm amongst my friend group and we did lots together.

No, quite! Mine are similar ages and it's actually enjoyable these days (you know, when they're not turning the lounge into a wrestling ring...) :D much to look forward to!!!

This is what we aim for now. I feel much calmer for it. When we were out all day, I’d spend a small fortune on hot drinks and snacks cafe hopping trying to find places to do nappy changes, or warm places for lunch in the autumn and winter - and much of the spring and when raining in the summer! 😂

Why is it not good to be on the go all day? Both DD2 and DS were like this from toddlers and now in their 20s are still the same and very productive people as they not wasting time dossing about

It's absolutely fine to be on the go all day if a) you're an adult and are able to decide for yourself and b) you know you can stop and chill if you want to.

But as you seem to think it's "dossing about" to have a chill day occasionally, there's probably no point trying to explain the benefits of downtime to you 😉

It's downright boring sat at home doing nothing.

Isn't the saying that only boring people get bored? 😉

I was out and about every day unless we had other children over or my children going to play at friends house. We did a lot of child swapping to get the odd free day .
I was generally at home for whitching hour tea time so 4pm onwards .
I just found a whole day at home without any other company absolutely mind numbing ,

A lot of the "outdoors is amazing" posters seem to be ignoring the fact that OP is the one saying she's exhausted - surely that in itself is a sign that what she's doing isn't working for them?

Nobody's saying she should be home in front of screens all day but a few half days a week where you just potter about inside and relax is no bad thing for any child.

Agree with this. I do love being outdoors but I’m far more of a homebody than my husband. I can practise yoga and Pilates at home, cook, bake, read, paint, craft, write… Our DC enjoys being active outdoors (more like him) but can also appreciate some quiet time too and enjoys books, jigsaws and getting arty and crafty at home. I will also bake/cook with them when they’re old enough.

This is what I'm going to aim for more of now