To take this approach to parenting a toddler?

[Judinle]

DS is two. Since I went back to work when he was one, the three days he has at home (not at nursery) are always out of the house. We have a couple of hours eating breakfast and getting ready and then we shoot off somewhere… National trust, park, shopping centre, out for lunch, walk, swimming… whatever.

Recently I’ve noticed other mums commenting that I’m ’always out’ and ‘doesn’t ds ever have time at home.’ I would say once a week but not every week there may be one afternoon of a couple of hours where he’s at home but usually I get back right before dinner so again it’s dinner bath and bed with maybe 30 mins playing around that. Am I doing something wrong here? The reason I go out is I find it less stressful than at home. The idea of a day at home with him terrifies me a bit! Is this approach bad for him?

What happens if he's poorly? Do you still go out?

Don't overthink things.

Just do what you both enjoy. Don't worry about what others may think.

I really don’t understand why people see this as an issue. The main thing is does it work for you and is your son happy? If yes, then why change. You’re allowed to do things your own way.

It's fine. All the people going on about chilling at home are probably sticking their child in front on TV or a tablet most of the time.
Staying home gets more enjoyable when they are older and they get involved in playing with their Lego or doing self directed craft things. Suddenly it is possible to spend a morning at home with everyone happy and occupied and not having to entertain them or use a screen or have a destroyed house

I think that’s a bit weird. Don’t you bake/cook together, do normal household jobs together? Paint, draw, make things?

Going out for some fresh air is good obviously, and we did some days out. But we also spent a lot of time at home just doing normal things. My DD had her own knives and peeler etc and loved to help with meals for example. Yes it turns a 10 min task in to an hour but it’s really good for them.
She also loved to sort laundry and mop floors with her toy mop, make cakes and biscuits.
Do you do crafts together?

What on earth is so terrifying about being at home for 5-6hrs?

YANBU. Some children are much easier out and about. My daughter was about 2.5-3 before we starred being able to spend the whole day at home. And I am quite a homebody so it was definitely nice to reach that point! Next child was lower maintenance at home than out! You parent the child you have.

I don’t think it’s a healthy or sustainable approach in all honesty. Where is your child learning to entertain themself with toys or simply just “be” in their own home? Children need down time and freedom to be bored and make their own amusement. Presumably at that age, they’re largely confined to a buggy/pushchair rather than spending hours walking around while you’re out?
Id be thinking about why I find being at home so unmanageable if I were you in all honesty.

The one thing I would say is that I was this kind of mum - we were / are always doing something. What it has resulted in is a 6 year old who expects to always be on the go and going somewhere / doing something so I am now trying to retrain her that it’s okay to have a day at home playing with toys! 😅

Err no! My DD didn’t have screen time at that age. She actually learned things, because I’m a competent parent.

Reading, arts and crafts, cooking etc.

We would go out looking for conkers and then come home and make a collage-that sort of thing. Or we’d turn everyday tasks in to a learning activity. I talked her through absolutely everything I was doing too-really vital for vocabulary as well as knowledge.

Some of us are not brain dead and have raised intelligent, engaged, inquisitive children that are excelling. At home does not mean screens to me.

seems a shame as you wont get time to enjoy your home and do chores while little one does not get a healthy time to play with his toys or enjoy his home.

At the age of two I totally get this. I found parenting in the house much harder.

As they get older it does get easier to stay in.

Also at age two I wasn't that interested in playing with their toys but older children's toys are much better.

If it works for you do it!

One thing is that child isn't getting much screen time!

At 2, some children can't really concentrate on baking and painting for very long. Is he walking? Climbing on rocks? Exploring the environment? That kind of thing is great from developing gross motor skills. If he's strapped in the buggy all the time, it's a bit rubbish.

My 2nd child was like this. He stopped napping at 18 months old and was a menace in the house. He needed to be tired out with loads of physical activity. He's really sporty now and will happily kick a ball around in the rain for hours. He will also happily read and play computer games.

When my ds was a toddler we went out every single day...he was very active and energetic. A day at home was much harder than just going out...he'd be climbing the walls. My DD was totally different....she was happy to have the odd day at home, she'd play with her dolls house or sit and do crafts and be fine. Maybe your friends have children who are like that!

Yes it's important they have time to be bored.

This.
I did what worked for me and my children. OP keep doing what works for you.

Just to add DS2 decided at 18 months that the buggy was for wimps. My childminder had him trotting alongside the double buggy with 3 year olds in it.

High energy toddlers are hard work. The key is to let them putter for a bit on their own when out.

I think it's great! I try to go out with my toddler as much as possible too. At home I get tempted by screen time a lot.

People often say how hard it is raising a toddler and do what you need to do to get through the day, nothing wrong with screens etc.

Yet when someone is actually doing things with their toddler it’s strange how for some it’s disapproved of; ‘weird’ and so on,

It’s a phase and it passes once they can focus and do role play a bit more. But there is no way I could have stayed sane with six hours at home with ds aged 2!

Just laughing at the posts suggesting "being at home" as a life skill you need to learn 😂

OP just do what works for you and him - it's literally no one else's business. One day he'll be a teenager in bed til 11am like all the others ha ha!

Sounds brilliant to me!

Surely you're not out literally all day every day from breakfast to dinner though? I always made sure we went out every day but it was often only for a couple of hours or so. Eg we'd go for a walk or a toddler group in the morning, have lunch and then spend the afternoon at home

When mine were little we went out all the time. If we were out it was more relaxing for me, they got to do and see loads of lovely things and the house was exactly the same when we got back as when we left. Lots of fresh air too and lots to talk about. They are all grown up now and we still talk fondly about places we visited and things we did. They were little so they don't remember remember but we retell in effect the story of their childhood. They also now as adults love going to places and seeing things. Interested in the world around them.

I’m all for getting out the house but by 2/3pm we are normally home. I’d feel permanently tired and busy no down time. And just rushed all the time doing things.

I’m with you on this one! I think it’s a personality thing for me - I’ve never liked to stay home myself and that didn’t change when I had my daughter. Her dad is the opposite and is very happy staying at home so she probably gets a good mix (although I don’t see why she’d NEED full days at home really?).

She’s 4 now and at school but when I was off with her in the week our routine was to have breakfast, do a few chores and then head out for most of the day! When she was a baby she’d nap in the carrier/car/buggy. We do at same at weekends now as a family - we are spending quality time together that we all enjoy.

people always seemed obsessed with telling me I needed routine and structure when she was a baby/toddler but that didn’t work for me as a parent - I like flexibility and I wanted a flexible baby! As far as I can tell she’s turned out just fine 🤣 e.g has no issue with school routines etc.

do what works for your imo!

There is no parenting maual but I wish all parents were issued this statement in the hospital/home birth midwife.

We’re all different and our kids are all different. Do what seems to work for you and your child. Recognise it may not work for other people. Live and let live.