Fiancé has agreed to be a Guarantor - I’m not happy

[workworkbloodywork]

Not sure if I’m being highly unreasonable or fully entitled to be majorly fucked off with him.

His sister has asked him to be a guarantor on a rental that they want to upsize to as the partner has recently gone self employed.

he initially asked if I would be too but I was overseas at the time as I asked for us to discuss it when I was home.

he then said that we weren’t needed as they found someone. That then fell through and so they asked if just DF would do it. Again said let’s discuss when I’m home.

ive found out today that they have a moving date and have been packing. Turns out DF has agreed to do it without any communication to me.

so YABU - it’s family, you should think twice and just sign to dotted line asap

or YANBU - as an engaged couple, decisions that affect your family unit should be discussed at length before concluding on a decision together.

And that it was the original he signed and not just a copy

This. OP, your DF needs to move fast. He signed the documents - it's out of his hands if his sibling is going to use him as a guarantor or not.

Your DF needs to contact a solicitor covering the area of Property Law, tomorrow. He can't wait, expecting the best outcome, when he's already signed the documents.

OP do you believe him that someone else has been found and that he is being removed, or is it more likely he went over to DS and DBIL blamed you for giving him grief over this and they have just told him to tell you a mystery someone else has signed and everything is fine?

I wouldn't trust them I'm sorry to say, and I would be taking a heck of a lot longer to get past this, he has gone behind your back to agree to something that could impact your financial future.

💯

If he's already signed the contract as guarantor, they could already use it? Just because he's verbally withdrawn, doesn't mean he's no longer guarantor. He'd need to see the new contract and rip up the old one.

I wouldn’t be taking his word for anything at this stage - l think he’s bullshitting because he’s got himself into something he can’t back out of and the implications are only just dawning on him

Exactly, @Rosscameasdoody
I really hope to be wrong here, but strongly suspect there's a lot more yet to be revealed and none of it in OP's favour

Most tenancy agreements are now done online as are the guarantor agreements, there's probably emails confirming everything so I would definitely want an email to say he is no longer a guarantor.

If this mystery guatentor falls flat, couldn't they offer 6 months rent up front? You could offer to lend them 3 months. If they haven't got the 3 months of savings then it's perfectly reasonable reason why you can't be their guarantor.

These guatentor agreements are awful. It's something friends and family are happy to do until they actually read contracts which are terrifying and run in perpetuity with no way for you to ever take yourself off the contract. Best friend was in same boat, agent deliberately didn't send agreement until day of move. In the end, after reading I declined and suggested I pay 6 months of rent upfront for friend to pay me monthly. 2 years later have not received a penny and so called 'friend', never saw them again. Though I lost 6 months rent, cutting ties with a draining friend was been the best outcome possible!

All of this.
Unfortunately some women can't be told.
They plough ahead and life bites them on the arse.
They then post that YES they did ignore lots of red flags.🙄

I think he likes to be Billy Big Bollixs.
Why wouldn't he, he has found a woman with a house that he has moved into.
He has landed on his feet without having a pot to piss in.

Guaranteeing the home of family when he can't pay for his own.
He's an idiot.

I would be absolutely horrified if my daughter had such poor judgement to join finances and put her own security in the hands of such a twit.

Unfortunately it sounds like the OP will have to learn the hard way.

Is there a reason why you didn't take her to Small Claims Court?

It's messy, I'm also godfather to their son so I don't want the poor lad to suffer anymore than what his parents put him through with their affairs and lies. The week it all came out in the wash, there was violence, self harm, suicide attempts, police, arrests, restraining orders and even sectioning. I had a few hours to scrape together to 6 months rent so they could both move forwards and end the self created nightmare. All the while going through a serious cancer scare that required my tonsils out immediately and our daughter was not even 2 days old. Neither party asked or thought about how I was, they just threw their alcohol soaked problems at me. I'm so glad I don't have to bail them out anymore but I really miss my godson.

That's just awful @Daddydog it must have been an extremely stressful and overwhelming time for you. I hope you can reconnect with your godson one day🙏💗

@Daddydog that's awful, sorry to hear that.

Not if it’s been done online. Something doesn’t sit right with this.

I agree if it was an electronic signature rather than a wet one, but we don't know (and we don't know if OP knows - yet - or not). Hopefully OP's DF has acted very swiftly in trying to get this resolved. We'll have to wait until her next update.

But if there was any possibilty you couldn"'t pay, why be a guarantor?

What??
Controlling ? Ridiculous. She is being v sensible.
Her fiance has made a finabcial commtment, which may have repercussions for her (credit checks at their address, her df not being able to pay rent for both BiLs place an their own, etc)
This is why omene need separate bank accounts -to not be liable for their OHs idiocy!

Not controlling at all, as fiancé already lives with op, so any future debt (from non-payment of rent) would affect her as well, as she’d have to pick up the slack for their household bills as well.

Had fiancé still lived independent of her, in his own house, paying his own way, then, a discussion is less called for. However, this is not the case, and their finances (apart from mortgage) are already shared.

I think for me, a discussion would still be necessary even if we didn’t live together, because there’s no way l would be moving in with him while he had this obligation. It’s a serious financial commitment and shouldn’t be a unilateral decision if you’re in a serious relationship.

But if there was any possibilty you couldn"'t pay, why be a guarantor?

Because people do not get it. A nebulous thing that will never happen because 'Bert' would never do that. Until he's off work sick, or a client does not pay, or until a partner goes crazy and wrecks the place. Because if they do get caught out, their partner will suck up the extra expense, while they have to fulfil their obligations as a guarantor.
Or we have those who would 'do it in a heartbeat' - but will not be called upon or allowed to do it.
It is time finance was taught in school.

Problem is if they don't pay you HAVE to

I was a guarantee once. Never ever again

Whether for friends or family

The stress I had /have every month paying the sodding loan is unreal !!

If the document has already been signed, then you need to get that document back so you can destroy it. Otherwise what is to stop BIL handing that document in?

Yep. This. It’s really concerning to see so many posters willing to, as you say, ‘do it in a heartbeat’ while clearly demonstrating they know next to nothing about the consequences and care little about the potentially devastating effects on their own/partners finances.

Why would you assume that the person you’re guaranteeing is financially trustworthy when the very fact that you’re being asked to act as guarantor means there is clearly something suggesting that they are not.

This. Best case scenario is they have no financial history - see students away from home for the first time.

With older people (and I don’t mean ‘old’, just mid 20s onward), the landlord / bank / car sales etc. know there is an increased risk of default from that person, whether due to lack of sufficient income, poor credit or some other reason.

The only time I would stand guarantor is if for some reason I intended to pay the loan from the beginning. I know people who have done this for a child’s car loan for example. They made every single payment as they had always intended but as the loan was in the child’s name, it let him build up a credit record.

So you would just tell your DC to leave university?