Husband kicking off over bath

[Seriouslyhowcouldyounot]

So my husband loves a bath. Loves it!!! But we have one toilet in our house. For a while now I’ve said the second you’re ready to get in let me go to the loo so as to give him the longest time in there before I’m busting again.

tonight it’s all kicked off as I said can you not lock the door as I might be busting. Firstly to fully disclose we’ve been drinking so it goes through me like water, secondly I have a suspected water infection so when I need to go I NEED TO GO. He went nuts saying what’s changed in the 15 years and I should be able to wait 25 mins. Yes maybe I should, maybe I can wait an hour or even two but what if I need to go!!! I said I wouldn’t just burst in I would knock but no apparently I lock the door when I shower FOR 10 minutes so he should be able to bathe for 25. I get he likes a bath but ffs should I have to beg for the right to access to the loo. Am I nuts???

@ClockwiseHoneysuckle

its even easier & cheaper if he stops being such a twat. She's asking for access to the toilet for a wee if she needs it.

it's his WIFE I'm sure he's seen her bum before & she's seen his willy. WTAF is he being such a twat about??

@Seriouslyhowcouldyounot you're living with a selfish, nasty man. I bet this is not the only way he shows that! You don't have to stay married to this bellend.

We are a family of 6 in a house with one bathroom. It's not ideal but we manage.

I do this because my husband takes foreeeeeeveeeeeer on the toilet and I'm not waiting 40 minutes to pee!

When me & my sister bought a house together, (financially convenient), the fact that there was a downstairs toilet & a full bathroom upstairs is what clinched it! Is there no way to incorporate another toilet? I can assure you it is a lifesaver! Good Luck with the rest of your toilet wars. And yes he’s a dick!

Nor me. Thank goodness we don’t have a loo in the bathroom.

I totally agree with you. We haven’t locked the door since the kids left home. My husband often pops in when I am in the bath or shower and vice versa. He doesn’t wee because we have other toilets but in our previous home he did occasionally.

Reading some of these comments is shocking. Thank goodness I don't have a man-child of a husband, who would rather me soil myself than interrupt his precious bath time.

I have Crohn's disease and bowel urgency. I can go from nothing to needing the toilet in three seconds. We have one bathroom. He would never, ever try to stop me from using the toilet if I needed it.

Would most people's husbands leave them, then, if they developed a bladder or bowel issue that caused urgency or incontinence? If they are so fragile they can't be in the same room as the person they are supposed to love, having a wee? The things my husband has seen since I developed Crohns 😂 Having a wee is nothing. And guess what? He's still here, because he's a grown adult.

You 'see a Dr, that's not normal' folks are hilarious.

You know there are a TON of conditions, and medications, that can mean you have to pee very frequently and with little warning.

Do you know what Drs do when they have dx your condition or prescribed medication, and you moan about having to go to the loo every five/ten/20 minutes/with three seconds warning...

They agree it is quite awkward to live with.

There isn't some instant magic cure, there is no mad scramble to fix this immediately, just a nod and a 'yep, it is what it is'.

Yep. The mums net misogyny in full force tonight! How dare you have needs and how dare you age! No your attempt at a solution \ compromise is pathetic. You must try harder to not have any needs so we don't inconvenience men in any minor way.

Yep, cos that's MY time and no-one is getting in. I do x̌heck with everyone before I go in but yes, I pock that door!
Definitely don't need to see anyone on the loo when I'm relaxing in the bath,

So confused by these responses! Of course YANBU!

I think you are being super unreasonable, of course he should be able to take a bath in peace in his own home

My OH has seen parts of me I haven't seen! Going to the toilet in front of each other isn't a problem!

I don't think the going to the toilet infront of each other is the issue. I think it is more because op's dh is wanting to have his 25 minute bath in peace without somebody weeing next to him. It is a bit grim isn't it? Op had been drinking with a UTI, so dh's idea of an uninterrupted bath was probably a little unrealistic, given the situation. Although op went before it, she most likely didn't fully empty/had an irritated bladder.

I think some posters don't seem to realise that everyone is different, raised different or simply have different preferences... some people don't like using the loo in front of others or having others use the loo in front of them and some just like to lock the door!

We leave the door unlocked but it is because we have a toddler who cannot easily wait but I don't really like using the loo when DH is in the bath or like it when he pees when I'm in there.

If your need to wee when he's in the bath a regular occurence rather than a one off I could see why he's miffed. However if it's an emergency why cant he let you in and shut his eyes/stick his fingers in his ears if he cant bear the 30 secs whilst you wee.
What a fusspot!

If this is a regular occurrence get a camping/festival toilet bucket. They are under £20. If his peace is important to him and you only have one loo it's really not worth fighting over.

I seriously feel like I'm living in a parallel universe with some of these replies.

They have a working toilet in their shared home.

What possible reason is there for her buying and then using a camping toilet?

Not that he ever would because he's not insane, but if my OH ever had an issue with me using the toilet I would politely remind him that I pay half the mortgage each month and then I would tell him to fuck the fuck off.

I have to pee in a pan or the garden if my dd is having one of her 3 hour baths. Yes, unreasonable, I know.

'What possible reason....?' OP has given the reason. It matters not 2 hoots that she pays half the mortgage if the door to the loo is locked and she can't get in! Yes, you might want to argue the toss with your DP but life is too short for these arguments where perspectives are irreconcilable. Of course, they could move to a 2 loo house or divorce but I think my suggestion is a little more pragmatic.

We're a very open household.

The bathroom is like crewe station whenever I'm in there.

This.
Me too when my bathroom was being renovated for 6 weeks due to a plonker plumber. I’ve had to pee in an old washing up bowl and in the garden.
why don’t you pee in a bucket and leave it in the bedroom, preferably his side of the bed, and when he comments, say you’ve made an en-suite because you need to wee while he’s luxuriating in the bath like the house is some kind of spa retreat. I went out with a bloke who told me that he loves to have a long bath and even lights candles. I can’t tell you how turned off I was by this.

Bus drivers are mainly male. They often have to go behind walls, in bushes, etc. because they usually only have access to a toilet at their depot. Pretty awkward for a semi-rural bus driver.

What counts as reasonably-sized? Because my childhood home is detached with four bedrooms and only one bathroom with the only toilet in there.
I do think it would have been better with a downstairs toilet and there were many arguments when we all lived at home, but that's the way it is.

They can try medications, but those medications may not work.
If a doctor just nodded, you need to insist on some treatment.