If you're sharing the cost of the meal there's certain things you don't go for

[alpacachino]

If you're out with a group and you usually split the cost of the meal you don't choose the mixed grill or the steak right? You stick to the main menu.

Or AIBU and just grumpy at my brother in law

I’m genuinely curious- what is it about a Harvester that’s a weird concept? I went to one a few years ago for a quick meal before a show in the city, but from memory it was just a normal chain pub? I’m intrigued!

Carvery’s are a bit like a portal back to another time. Like something out of Abigail’s Party. It’s the Bernie Inns era

@Summertimer I'm not sure how you sneering at other people's choice of pub s is really contributing to the question of the OP's resentment at subsidising the bill.

I wasn't aware that Harvester was a carvery. But anyway we always have a lovely one at our local Toby. Staff are excellent too and the puddings are to due for

If you split the bill it’s exactly that. He had this she had that is crazy if I’m in the situation where I like the look of something particularly expensive I either contribute a bit more or pay the tip - simples

I didn't say he has the standard mix grill did I. Look at the price of the ultimate mixed grill. Plus I think prices may vary depending on location

Yes

Try one you might like it. You get a bowl of salad and a main meal

Harvester isn't a Cavery. Toby Carvery is a carvery if you like that sort of thing

Some people sneer at the salad cart but kids love it

Er, I’m not sneering but I do think I have not seen mixed grill on a menu for many years. I also think carvery restaurants aren’t something I’ve come across. As for splitting a bill - surely if you have something rather more expensive than everyone else it’s the same as drinking if no one else does and you decide amongst yourselves to pay a bit more for certain choices.

I wouldn’t order a meal for two for myself - that is greedy even if I’m paying. I would order whatever meal for one I wanted and expect everyone else to do the same.

I agree with you. When going out with friends who split, we order from the pasta/ chicken grill type section? Not the fillet steak section. I assumed this was an unwritten rule.

I’m considering using a bill-splitting app next time I go out in a larger group,

A mixed grill is certainly not always on a separate part of the menu, it's in the same place as other main courses such as steak, chops, grilled salmon, moussaka or whatever.

As for carveries, they are lovely if you fancy a nice roast. There's always lots of choice of meat and different vegetables plus trimmings; the roast potatoes and Yorkshires are splendid and then there's pudding. Good for families.

YABU because people should be free to order what they want when eating out, it's a treat after all, and the main menu offerings are not always the best dishes available.
I nearly always have steak when I eat out and if necessary I pay more than my share to compensate, as I wouldn't appreciate being with someone that disapproved of my choices.

Why is it greedy to order something that is on the menu?

do you mean he orders TWO meals. That would be my definition of greedy not ordering something that is available and I want have. I think you have the problem and hyperfocussed on money. Do you enjoy their company at all?

Don't order expensive drink (or excessive) and menu items unless you going to chuck in extra money

Yes, that would be great if the OP's BiL were doing that. This thread wouldn't exist.
The OP is asking about her situation where one person orders more expensive stuff always, and never offers to put in more.

Er, I’m not sneering but I do think I have not seen mixed grill on a menu for many years. I also think carvery restaurants aren’t something I’ve come across.

Perhaps you should get out more.
Carvery is hardly a niche concept, and nor is a mixed grill.

I do not

Thank you!

Seriously find a Toby carvery they're yum

In the interest of fairness here's the prices from the sizzling pub

Super Steak
Two 8oz# rump steaks served with a fried free-range egg, onion rings, grilled tomato, mushrooms, skin-on fries and your choice of sauce £15.79

Short Rib Platter
A succulent two-bone BBQ beef rib served with mac 'n' cheese, grilled corn, grilled tomato, onion rings, coleslaw and skin-on fries £17.49

Mega Mixed Grill
A 5oz# rump steak, 7oz# gammon steak, grilled chicken fillet, two pork sausages, grilled tomato, mushrooms, onion rings and skin-on fries £13.40

He'll often also pimp his fries which is £2 more.

Vs

Scampi and Chips
Nine pieces of Whitby® wholetail scampi† with chips, your choice of mushy or garden peas, and tartaresauce. £8.49

Beef burger (comes with chips) £6.99

So ok it's not £12 but he goes for the most expensive things on there!

Harvester MAIN menu

Since neither OP nor anyone who agrees you order off the standard menu has yet to answer me... which bit of this MAIN menu is the standard bit?

Burgers are a separate section, does that mean burgers are off limits?

Fish and Chips I'd consider to be on a fairly "standard" menu but it's under "Fancy Something Different". Different could imply not standard whereas it follows the Chargill sections, where the mixed grill is, which could imply the standard menu, then, is the Chargill section ...

At a Beefeater venue, for example, the steaks ARE the standard menu as its a steakhouse type place, ordering a salad or one of their limited "classics" range isn't the "standard" there

Normally the grilled meat bit. The MASSIVE dishes

You said he has the mixed grill... the ribs and steak are both more expensive and even with the £2 pimped fries the ribs are more...

And that's now down from £12 to around £8 difference

Getting less and less by the moment