To think men should understand how unsafe women feel?

[Fraudornot]

So on a works night out and had to get home - I feel unsafe wandering around our large city centre at night on my own to get home. Men who I consider to be fairly aware don’t even think of this as an issue - how to ensure female employees feel safe to get home. What are others experience of this? I’m keen to know what the norm is and if we should all be aware of how women feel getting home after a night out in a city centre. Or should it just be up to us to make sure we can get a taxi. I feel there might well be a pile on about sort yourself out don’t rely on men. But surely we should all ensure the safety of the whole group.

I think it's up to each individual, regardless of being male/female, to make sure they can get home safely.

That said, I have been generally very lucky that the majority of my former male colleagues and the companies I've worked for, have had a focus on personal safety. Not sure if that comes from chivalry or just basic human decency.

I'd also add that on a number of work nights out I've been the most senior person in attendance. I have always made sure all of the team have ways of getting home safely (man or woman) before I'm "off the clock". It might not be a formal responsibility but personally I consider it part of a duty of care I have as a leader and a considerate colleague.

Who’s the ‘we’ in this sentence? If I’m out late I always plan how I’m going to get home. You seem to forget women have agency.

I completely agree with you. I'm not walking around fearful, I would be far more concerned about my 18 year old sons safety than my own after a night out. He is a dorky(said affectionately), sensetive lad. He's a walking easy target really. The idea that he wouldnt be afraid because it would only be a punch or 2? An experience like that would destroy him tbh. I don't know where some posters are getting their stereotypes of scared women and macho men from. All people, no matter their sex are different. You don't help anyone by perpetuating stereotypes.

Are you saying you want your male colleagues to escort you home?

As others have said they are no less potentially dangerous then the random men who pass you on the street.

Why are you getting so annoyed?

You're acting as though living in fear of a man is a terrible thing and that me are nothing to be feared of?

I don't walk around in fear but I'm wise enough to know that any rape, abuse or murder there's a 98% chance it's been done by a man.

If any of the above happens to me, it's going to be at the hands of a man.

1 in 7 men are a danger to women. If I'm out with 7 men, how do I know which one that 1 is? It's likely to be someone I know

You really, really can't get cross because of how wen act. If you do, why not get cross at the men and the women and prop the patriarchy?

Ultimately it comes down to everyone living in fear of men

Bollocks. I am sorry you have experienced such a life that you live in fear of men. Most of us don't. Because in reality, most men are decent. The issue is not knowing which ones aren't. But I will not live in fear just in case.

As an aside, the only time I have ever been mugged, it was in broad daylight, in a busy public park, by a group of teenage girls. Should I live in fear of them?

Why are you trying to insist that every woman feels as fearful as you. They don’t! Women are individuals with minds and attitudes of their own, not some homogenous blob

I must admit that’s a problem I have with these sort of threads. The implication that if your not acting out of fear your doing it wrong.

What you do for your own safety us poles apart from what men do. It's that habitual to you, you don't even think about it.

It's infuriating because posters like you are detrimental because your are so quick and eager to dismiss women's experiences and feeling and this in turn makes it ok for men to do so.

You're coming across as aggressive.

Do better! It won't damage you

Why are you getting so annoyed

Because you are insisting that “women” live in fear of men. “Women” don’t. Some do.

Do better! It won't damage you.

Again, give it a rest. I am 60 and not fearful. Certainly don’t need to be patronised.
You ask why I’m annoyed? Because your premise is just wrong.

No it's really not. It's the fact we have been raised to be cautious of men amd to exercise extra safety precautions that men just don't have to do.

As I previously said, it's staggering that
posters imply they've never felt fear or discomfort round a man or a strange men or a group of men yet have spent their lives carrying out safety precautions that men don't do and don't need to do and it's that ingrained, it's normal.

And to then come one and berate women who point this out and further attempt to tell them they are ridiculous is just....wow

Everyone for them selfs.

You're getting so angry though over issues that affect other women and trying and trying to imply they are behaving incorrectly.

Is that when happens when your turn 60? You lose your empathy, see it your place to scold other women and continue to upnold the myth that men are not to be feared?

**
What you do for your own safety us poles apart from what men Do”

Do you have a 21 year old son? We do. He always plans how he will get home safely because in our area random attacks on men by men (on the streets) are far more of a risk than random attacks on women (on the street).

This.

(our 29 year old daughter has never been attacked. She is not fearful, either. Our son has already been challenged several times by drunken men, on public transport, on the street and in his current workplace where he deals with members of the public).

how to ensure female employees feel safe to get home.

Grown adults are responsible for getting themselves home.

I would always ensure my friends/ colleagues are able to get home ok but that’s because I’m a good friend.
But I’m a woman and don’t feel it’s the job of my male friends/ colleagues.

If my female or male friend had missed the last bus then I would make sure they can get home.

If they rocked up with no plans of getting home and decided it was the responsibility of someone else, then I’d leave them to it because I would assume that they must have a plan (although I would still ask if they could get home ok and perhaps lend them some money if they needed it but u wouldn’t need to do this).

I can’t help feel that you thought a male colleague would have invited you back to his and it didn’t go as planned.

Do you make sure the men get home safely? Walk them to the station, call them an uber?

**
Is that when happens when your turn 60? You lose your empathy, see it your place to scold other women and continue to upnold the myth that men are not to be feared?“

🤣🤣🤣

You really don’t like being disagreed with, do you. Ok, don’t worry, I’m old. My 6 decades of experience count for nothing. Have a nice day.

So why are you so outraged that I've said women do this?

Why are you so annoyed that women feel this fear yet you have the fear for your son?

It's men causing this fear, you know this yet you're angry women feel it

Ageism at its best.

Have you confused me with someone else? Because I don’t remember berating anyone or telling them they were ridiculous

Pot. Kettle. Black

You're the one that's getting angry and annoyed. I don't care that you don't agree with me (ironically whilst feeling the same about your son) I don't agree with what you've said which is why I'm putting my points across.

That's how forums work. It's not a case that you say what is wrong and that's it, how on earth do you think people change or grow if they can't debate a point?

Your six decades means nothing, it just means you've grown up when mysoginistic behaviours were accepted and many of your age group choose to uphold them yet take delight in scorning at anyone younger and revel in berating them.

But you weren't asking about everyone were you?

Also not all women feel unsafe.

I always ask whether someone (male) can accompany me to my car when it's dark.

Sod statstics; I have been sexually assaulted more than once by a random stranger and am certainly not looking to have that experience again.

No one has ever refused to ensure I get back to the car or taxi stand safely, but the men I hang out with are generally decent and understanding in that matter.