To think men should understand how unsafe women feel?

[Fraudornot]

So on a works night out and had to get home - I feel unsafe wandering around our large city centre at night on my own to get home. Men who I consider to be fairly aware don’t even think of this as an issue - how to ensure female employees feel safe to get home. What are others experience of this? I’m keen to know what the norm is and if we should all be aware of how women feel getting home after a night out in a city centre. Or should it just be up to us to make sure we can get a taxi. I feel there might well be a pile on about sort yourself out don’t rely on men. But surely we should all ensure the safety of the whole group.

I agree with this, Some. Women are quite able to phone a taxi. But most male colleagues would be willing to help out if asked. All this anti men sentiment is getting a little bit tiresome.

Men are more likely to be the victim of violence while walking home at night, partly because men are more likely to be walking alone. But yes, on any night out everybody in a group should check everyone is getting home safely. We also, all have personal responsibility to not get into unnecessarily risky situations.

I’ve signed up just to reply to this OP, as it’s a subject I feel strongly about.
I absolutely would ensure that every woman I was out with could make it home safely at night and did not walk home alone.
Like my user name, I’ve been there - I have been attacked walking home at night. You never think it will happen to you, until it does.
Safety of women at night is a priority. We should always look out for each other.

Only the women?

If a group of colleagues or friends are on a night out and any of them are worried about getting home, surely you'd see any of them got home safely?

I'm a woman and I've never felt unsafe getting home at night. I just walk to a bus stop or tube and get on, and walk home by myself at the other end. I'll walk home if it's a mile or so. Never get taxis, I find public transport is fine. I don't need anyone else to ensure I can get home safely.

No women are responsible for their own safety, and so are men

Women complain how bad men are but wanting men to do all their thinking for them

Women are not children thry do have a brain and should be expected to use it

Do they have to escort you to your front door?

I take full responsibility for my own safety. My male colleagues find their own way home and so do I.

i leave earlier to make sure I can get a taxi.

I travel a lot with work and always scope out the safety of cities I visit. I assume my male colleagues do the same.

why does it have to be the male colleagues responsibiity to get you home safe? why can't your female colleagues look out for you? and more to the point, if you are going out on your own, be it male or female, why is it anyone elses responsibility but yours to make sure you can get home safely?

Family member worked in a office - Private Christmas Party, all staying in a hotel, she was spiked , by a colleague!
Luckily a male colleague who she knew well took her to her room and made sure she was in there ok and the room was locked when he left

So one man was a c**t but another was her saviour. So…

@Fraudornot why were you wandering around though?

I think anyone who is worried either needs to get a cab booked in advance or use Uber. Or head straight to the bus stop etc. not sure what the wandering bit is for.

and would you want a buddy system or something? Seems easier and more practical for all adults to sort their own transport.

am pretty sure some men feel unsafe walking the streets to not just us defenceless woman that can't keep ourselves safe!!

Which is why I said that it's totally irrelevant whether you're male or female...

I would always plan how to get home in advance; I wouldn’t expect anyone else to help

If I knew I was going on a night out and had concerns about getting home safely I would not leave it until the end of the night to start working out a safe journey home, I would have made arrangements in advance. That might involve asking colleagues how they were getting home and agreeing to walk in a group to a taxi, bus stop or car park.

They are your colleagues, not your friends, why would you expect them to take responsibility for you?

I think it's really unreasonable to expect your male colleagues to act like your dad.

Did you make no plans then just expect the men of the group to make sure you got home at the end of the night? This is quite helpless

Were you also helping other women to make sure they get home, or do you think that’s just the job of men?

I am confused OP.

What is it you would need a man to do for you in this situation that you can’t do for yourself?

Get into a taxi?

I plan how I'm going to get home before I go out, doesn't everyone?
Although I have always lived in rural areas so you can't just call an uber, there aren't any.

Not all women feel unsafe though.

I guess it would depend how close you are but I know 100% that a handful of men I work with would make sure I got home the others I'm not too sure. In fact a couple I know wouldn't give me a 2nd thought.

And while one of these men would be a safe bet to walk you home at the end of a night out, the other …

In some ways your OP demonstrates that the reverse is true.

I am a relatively short guy and I have never felt 100% safe out late at night in certain areas. Although reasonably fit, what would I do, being 5’6 and 66kgs against a 6’2 100kg guy, and that is assuming one on one and no weapons.

I often feel on this site that some women feel unsafe, which is totally reasonable, but make the assumption that men both are and feel totally safe anywhere at any time of night, which is just blatantly untrue.

And, although women face different dangers, men are statistically far more likely to be attacked.

Having said all the above, I would tend to give a taxi to a lone woman rather than grabbing it for myself as I was brought up that way.

Everyone is responsible for planning how to get themselves home safely. If anyone (male or female) unexpectedly ends up in a vulnerable state or in a position where they unexpectedly can't get home safely, then yes obviously someome should help them. Men should not by default be expected to be in charge of their female colleagues getting home safely. But yes, men as a whole should be much more aware of how big a thing MVAWG is for women.

What about when there are no men? Who is responsible then? I work in a female dominated area so our work nights out are predominantly female. We do look after each other, but as the person that often ends up taking someone home (adding to my bill and stopping my night short) it does become a bit tiresome.

What actually happened? Why were you completely on your own? Why didn't you get/call a taxi/uber? Did you ask anyone to accompany you?

I organise our company night outs. I don't work out how employees are going to get home, as they are all adults, unless it was somewhere in the middle of nowhere that required a minibus or something.

You were in a large city centre, it can't have been that hard to get a cab, or if it was you should have thought ahead a bit and ordered one.