To not be happy with new teacher so far because of this

[Chilli89]

1. I messaged her about something and she said she would sort it a few days ago and that someone would be in touch the next day and I’ve heard nothing
2. We were told reading books had come home and I messaged the same day saying my D son hadn’t got his and they still haven’t supplied one for him
3. they were in the line at drop off. he wanted help so approached her. She shouted at me ‘don’t shout at me, I won’t talk at you if you shout at me’ in a really angry face. She didn’t know I was stood there, he did not shout, I heard the whole thing

aibu to not be happy so far?

my d son has only just turned 5. In Y1

You watched it happen yes? So you should have waited for the line to clear and them spoke to her. Said something like " it looked like there was a problem with...Jack. is everything ok? " and had the conversation there and then.

This is not a good comparison. I sometimes growl and grizzle at my partner at home because I'm feeling stressed and annoyed; but I'd never act that way at work. Imagine if I started a thread about being really stressed at work and shouting at one of my direct reports cause there's just so many of them and they all wanted something on the same day.
I'd get told pretty fast I was a shite team leader and that shouting at colleagues is never OK.
Why do we think shouting or acting angry at work is OK just because the recipients are kids?

Teachers are not untouchables like some of you are making our .. sometimes you need to flag up things.. I had to a few times .. go in and have a word with her outline your concerns and tell her he was upset with her shouting ..

I would not be worried about 1 & 2. Let it go.

3 is not ideal, would be cross, of course.

In your position, I might on this occasion explain to my son that sometimes people mess up, speak angrily when they shouldn't, but it's not personal about him.

If a theme of treating your son unfairly/singling him out continued (which I am absolutely sure it wont) then of course you can and should go nuclear.

I’m so sorry OP, that’s appalling.

I never heard my son’s Primary school teacher shouting at the infants/5yr olds when being asked a question and I think she’s in the wrong job if this teacher thinks that’s the best way to communicate with them!

Also, my son has autism and shouting at the other students, let alone him would cause him huge stress.

Shouting at teenagers, yes, I can understand they might do that occasionally but not young infants.

Is there another class he can swap to or another school nearby?

Totally agree with this. Is she an older teacher?

Have you ever tried to manage a class of 30 children at home time? You have to deal with a sea of parent's faces and try to send each child to the right parent as quickly as possible while making sure the ones whose parents haven't arrived stay put. It's not easy.

First two points I’d say give her time first few weeks back are always so busy for teachers.

The third one I don’t really see why there was any need to shout.Especially as he is 5 and feeling anxious she should be more nurturing.

You have to respond out of school hours as during school hours you’ve got a room full of children in front of you for most of the time. I doubt your non-contact time would be enough to cover everything you’ve got to do. Although responding between Friday night and Saturday morning should not be an expectation

1. Teachers are human and things get missed from time to time. The first two or 3 weeks in EYFS are manic. I haven't worked less than 14 hours each day in the past two weeks. Last night I was emailing someone at 10pm as I had promised to do it but if she is not one who does that then I wouldn't have managed to email during the day - no way! There isn't time!
2. It is likely your child has been given a reading book but hasn't taken it home. Ask your child if they have one in their tray as that is the most likely place it is. Kids are expected to follow instructions in EYFS so if your child hasn't done as they have been asked to do and put it in their bag then that needs working on.

What did you child say to her?

Completely agree. I would be speaking to her about this and, if the matter is not resolved, taking it up with headteacher. Being a teacher does not mean she is beyond reproach - some teachers are just not very good and a head won’t know that if parents don’t speak up.

Just speak to her in person about the book. It’s either an oversight or he did have a book but it’s got mislaid - put in a drawer instead of a Book Bag; left on a table and collected up by accident; left on a table and knocked on the floor by another child; dropped in the cloakroom, etc etc. All those are actual examples of the lost books I’ve had so far this term!

The shouting doesn’t sound good. Hopefully the teacher was tired and spoke louder than she meant to. However, you weren’t at school all day. Imagine having 30 children constantly tugging at your clothes asking you things, telling you things, and having to repeat instructions twenty times and still have children either be totally unaware or ignore them.

When you ask about the missing book, just mention your son was upset when he was told off and get more information about what happened, eg had he been told to stay somewhere but didn’t, was this the sixth time he’d gone over to her having been asked to stay in line, etc etc.If it was at pick-up, this can be a stressful time as school staff are trying to follow policies to safely release children to parents, are being approached by other parents while they’re trying to do this, and are having children attempting to walk out the door when they’ve been told to stay on the carpet/chairs until called for safety reasons.

Strangely, the teachers at my child’s school manage this without shouting at 5 year olds.

I wouldn’t be happy about the shouting.

However, it is possible being just year 1 that his reading level is too low so she hasn’t sent a book home yet. Maybe school are looking at an intervention before deciding on the book level to send home?

I wouldn't be happy with her either! I probably would have approached at the moment she shouted at him tbh and I'm not one for confrontation, it's not acceptable for her to take her stress out on him. Maybe just keep a note for now and if there's anything else e.g., your son gets told off for not doing his reading despite the book not being sent home, then raise it!

School is an ordeal. Always has been, always will be.

I would have spoken to the teacher there and then and asked her what the issue was when I heard her shout, but you didn't so I would probably leave it be now and keep an eye on their interactions at drop off/pick up.

Speak to her tomorrow and remind her that your DC has not had a book once the playground has calmed down a bit.

The start of new school terms can be really chaotic, teachers can send messages saying they have given the children books/letters/work to bring home etc but then don't, it happens often! Has your DC asked the teacher during school for the book?

My DD had lots of lovely teachers through primary but there was one that should absolutely not have been a teacher. Not sure she even liked children, she was awful.

Absolutely It was definitely a shout and she had her hands and arms waving around and everything, all stressed. Understand it’s the end of the day but he didn’t shout at her and he looked really upset after
I can imagine all the other teachers must have seen and heard this too so lots of witness.

I don't get the posts saying you're nagging her. If she specifically messaged you about reading books you're obviously going to mention your son doesn't have one. Forgetting to give him a book wouldn't put me off though. And losing her cool with a small child (5 or 6) who is already struggling with settling would upset me too. But maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and it was just a one off.

Absolutely not, if a teacher has not behaved appropriately and shouted at a small child with an angry face when that child has done nothing wrong then it deserves a complaint.

Stop giving teachers a free pass to behave exactly as they see fit.

OP - just ask her for a two minute word after pick up. Mention the book and enquire, so your son doesn’t get into trouble about it. If you think the shouting is playing on your mind, then bring it up calmly and say you witnessed it and it made you uncomfortable. Or, if you think it’s a one off then let it go and just talk to your son regularly about his school experience and if anything else comes up then address it going forwards.

But it doesn’t sound like ‘just’ 30 5 year olds (which, I imagine, is pretty challenging): it sounds like 30 5 year olds and their parents.

Not school, but a club I run, I had a parent who came to speak to me for "picking on her precious child"
I had spoken to more than one of them about an issue but she was being picked on apparently
Then she said I screamed at the children
I asked if she wanted to report it further and she suddenly backed down

Talking to the other adults who helped as I was understandably shaken by this, they said I only ever raised my voice to combat the children's levels and it was never aggressive

Parents can interpret things to suit their idea their child is being picked on by an adult. Like how the teacher went from shouting at drop off to shouting, waving arms at pick up to shouting, waving arms and looking stressed...

I work with 4, 5 and 6 year olds. My colleagues and I have never felt the need to shout under those circumstances and I’d be very shocked to witness it.

Just to add that I am not ‘one of those’ parents. My son has a shouty teacher at his school and I’ve heard her shouting and have never felt the need to complain, even once when she shouted at my son because he had done something naughty. It’s not my style, it’s hers. However, witnessing a child be shouted at in such a manner when they have done nothing wrong is entirely different and if it really bothers you then I think there is a place for a calm conversation or to monitor things and see how they go.

Of course speak to her. She should not have shouted. Dismissal is not an earth shattering event. She should have been able to handle even whatever minor annoyance she felt without attacking one of her students. Good god! I interned in a school and I can’t believe the absurd contortions mn is going through to make this teacher’s behavior ok. Of course she should not have shouted at him.