To not be happy with new teacher so far because of this

[Chilli89]

1. I messaged her about something and she said she would sort it a few days ago and that someone would be in touch the next day and I’ve heard nothing
2. We were told reading books had come home and I messaged the same day saying my D son hadn’t got his and they still haven’t supplied one for him
3. they were in the line at drop off. he wanted help so approached her. She shouted at me ‘don’t shout at me, I won’t talk at you if you shout at me’ in a really angry face. She didn’t know I was stood there, he did not shout, I heard the whole thing

aibu to not be happy so far?

my d son has only just turned 5. In Y1

I hope you son is ok op.
I just said on a different thread if i had kids i would not be sending them to school at all.

Of course you make a complaint if you witnessed an adult shouting at a small child. You're his mum. If you won't stand up for him - who will?

You won't get much sympathy on this board OP because its riddled with teachers. If the teacher cannot handle many small voices all looking for attention from her at the same time, she's in the wrong job.

I feel the same way. She asked to email if any problems and told them the book needed to be read.
The OP had no book so she emailed the teacher.
And no teacher should be shouting at a 5 year old for asking a question.

I am a teacher (secondary). I would definitely speak to her about it. I would actually have raised the fact that she shouted at your DS at the time, but as you didn't I would now make her aware that you witnessed that and feel it may be contributing to his nerves about school.

With the the book, I would tell her when the kids have been dismissed and then wait for her to fetch a copy. If they don't have enough, you need to know what they are doing to rectify that and ensure none of the children are missing out. You also need to know that he isn't going to be disadvantaged by not having it this time.

Btw, having those conversations in person with her is a kindness, as the alternative would be to speak to the head or to put it in writing. Don't be afraid to politely advocate for your child.

There are plenty of schools and teachers that are nothing like this!

If the teacher cannot handle many small voices all looking for attention from her at the same time, she's in the wrong job. But she was handling it. The children were dismissed without any of them going astray. When outside in the playground, particularly if there's any wind at all, if she didn't raise her own voice there's no way she'd have been heard over the loud babble of 'many small voices' all yelling there's my mum, that's my granny, I see my uncle.. She was probably just reminding all the children of the need to stay in line -how can the OP be sure she was speaking only to her child? Claims that she is 'abusive' and 'bullying' seem completely over the top.

Im not 100% sure of his reading level but he was classed as ‘expected for his age’ in English and phonics at the end of reception

Nrtft, but generally, at the beginning of term, it's taken a few days for kids to come home with books. Sometimes longer. In my experience (4 kids) they have to take each individual child and assess what their reading ability is before handing out books. Otherwise, all the kids would just start on the same book. So I'd just wait a bit longer to see if one comes home. If not, put a note in his book bag saying 'jonny didn't bring a book home this week, so we read xx at home together".
As for the shouting, it doesn't seem nice, but if it's a one off, I'd explain to jonny that his teacher is probably tired, and didn't mean to shout. Explain that if he waits in line quietly he will soon be picked to go home.

And that's a good reason for shouting at a small boy, is it?

Well my son was right in front of her and she was looking directly at him when she did it. And the other children weren’t talking or shouting at the time, it was when my son went to speak to her, he didn’t even shout at all as I heard the whole thing. She just went all in a big flap waving her arms and hands around and then shouted with a frustrated expression

Even some of the parents around me had eyebrows raised looking

The responses on here are so interesting though, as the other day there was a thread about a maths teacher shouting at the new year 7s and people were all defending the maths teacher. She was shouting at kids for asking questions yet loads defended her saying teachers should be dominant.

I don’t get how it’s unacceptable to shout at a 5 year old for asking a question, yet doing it to 11 year olds who have just started high school is cool because they’re ’establishing Their territory’. I found that thread really bizarre.

Yes thats true but i still wouldnt send my kids.

@Petitchat we don't know that the teacher did actually shout or just spoke firmly to the child.

The only person being unreasonable is the parent who stood by and watched her 5yo child being shouted at by his teacher for no apparent reason and did not say or do anything.

The book, reading level is a none issue, it’s one week in, you use common sense and read books from home in the meantime. If another two weeks down the line the issue isn’t sorted you chase it up. What you don’t do is standby and let another adult shout at your child for no apparent reason.

An adult shouting at a 5 year old (for whatever reason) is abusive

The teacher sounds like she is very stressed. Shouting at a 5-year old is not acceptable.

The first weeks back are very busy for teachers. If the teacher received two messages from the parent of every child this week, and has sent an initial response to each message as she has done with you, she has already replied to sixty messages this week (2 messages x 30 parents).

What's the point of being on threads if we're not going to believe the OP?

An adult shouting at a 5 year old (for whatever reason) is abusive. I'm not sure if you've ever tried to make yourself heard in a noisy school playground, but a raised voice is nearly always necessary. It doesn't necessarily mean the teacher was angry or even annoyed. If she was in a red faced fury with the OP's child and was yelling directly at him then I agree that's out of order.

I do hope your son gets sent home a book soon as I do feel strongly about that!

Re teachers in general and I know this isnt related to what you are asking in general but firstly
There are MAJOR teacher shortages
Recritment and retention is at an all time LOW
Over half of teachers quit within five years
They are overstretched, overworked and stressed. This is why many are leaving in their droves to seek employment abroad if they choose to stay in the profession.

The above is all fact and the sad reality.

Just a general useful reminder for anyone reading this thread to be mindful of. Of course it doesn't excuse shouting unnecessarily etc at a child but may go some way to understanding the pressures teachers are under. The end of the day and making sure children are going to their trusted adult is likely a v stressful part from a safety perspective.

OP said she was looking really angrily at her DS.

why didnt you say something immediately to her?!

This is why people are leaving teaching- unrealistic expectations of parents.

Is it really unrealistic to expect a teacher to be able to deal with 5 year olds without shouting and waving their arms? I get it that anyone can have a day that pushes them to the edge but what the OP described was not right whatever the reason.

No wonder teacher retention is such a crisis.