To not be happy with new teacher so far because of this

[Chilli89]

1. I messaged her about something and she said she would sort it a few days ago and that someone would be in touch the next day and I’ve heard nothing
2. We were told reading books had come home and I messaged the same day saying my D son hadn’t got his and they still haven’t supplied one for him
3. they were in the line at drop off. he wanted help so approached her. She shouted at me ‘don’t shout at me, I won’t talk at you if you shout at me’ in a really angry face. She didn’t know I was stood there, he did not shout, I heard the whole thing

aibu to not be happy so far?

my d son has only just turned 5. In Y1

Teachers.Shouldn't. Be.Shouting. At. Small. Children.
Damaging. Unnecessary. Inappropriate.

From her perspective at pick up time she has a line of 30 children she has to correctly handover to their trusted adults. Assuming each child has at least 2 different pick up scenarios (1x parent 1x childminder/parent/grandparent) that's 60 faces she is having to match to 30 children. She may also have protection orders for some children with ex-husbands who are UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES allowed to pick up their child.
It's a very stressful time of day at the start when a teacher is learning who is who and important to get right.

On other days, other children in the line may have shouted at her/patted her back rather than waiting their turn, which is a routine she will be drilling into them and understandably takes time for children to get. She was probably feeling very frazzled and said it in general to the class rather than your son specifically, because she can't process 30 faces with 30 children and be talked at by children at the same time.

Obviously shouting is not ideal but think carefully before complaining. She will be doing her best and end of day routines are to keep everyone safe.

Also, I’ve posted on here for opinions. I haven’t complained to the school or to his teacher. I’ve been polite in my message about the book. Informed her in person about his struggling just to make her aware, incase of any upset at school. This is when all the other children had been dismissed so she wasn’t in the middle of anything

It was more than a raised voice, frustrated expression and arms waving about in stress. He looked like he was going to burst into tears

totally unacceptable, feel so sorry for your son.

I previously had a class of 30 and the volume of messages became so unmanageable the school blocked the function for parents to message. It's hard when little kids are settling but other parents will also have sent messages amd tracher eill have to prioritise which are most urgent. No reading book is not urgent. I would wait until next week to contact again if no reading book comes home and chase the other issue at same time.
While I'm not saying the teacher didn't shout I've never seen a teacher shout at a year 1 class particularly in ear shot of parents. Are you sure she didn't just speak to him in a strict or more abrupt tone than you would use? Also if all 30 kids decide to leave line and ask teacher things pick up would descend into chaos teachers need to be firm especially at this time of year when rules and routines are being established

But you don't know what happened that day do you? He could have interrupted her 60 times and disrupted the whole class. Were you late to pick up if it was just him? Maybe focus in being kn time rather than criticising the teacher.

In terms of complaining to school, what do you hope to gain? Approach it in terms of doing what is best for your child. Being a difficult, complaining parent doesn't help your child. Save the complaining for when something actually bad happens.

Give her a chance for shouting and upsetting OP's DS?

Okkkaaay.....

Ultimately if it's unacceptable to you, do you want her fired or do you want to move your son to a different school?
Because there is a retention crisis in teaching, so she won't get fired. Give her a chance. Are you honestly saying you've NEVER shouted at your son?

One of my big regrets was not pulling up a school worker (she wasn't a teacher but worked with the kids) who said something about my son which I later found out was untrue and that she had humiliated him in front of others. While I only found this out afterwards (when he burst into huge sobs in the car - so unlike him) I so so wish I had gone in the next day and complained to the head. Never ever let a teacher do this to a child - shouting at him for no reason is inexcusable- I don't care what her workload is. If she can't control herself she shouldn't be working with children.

That is what you should have done! What is the point of posting here ?
You said you messaged her during school hours? When will she have time to sit and look at and reply to messages during school time?
Your child WILL get told to do things he may not like during his education and get upset - that's life.

Her job is to TEACH. Some days will be good, some days will be bad, and new routines/learning always feel hard/uncomfortable. You know you can't protect a child from feeling upset sometimes, right?! And that learning to navigate these feelings is an important step of childhood?
It's sad he was upset, it's not ideal the teacher shouted, but this is not "unacceptable" its just life.

It wasn’t just him today when she shouted. The other day, I waited for everyone to leave before approaching her about his struggling

I havent said I’m going to complain to the school. Just looking for opinions

You couldn't pay me enough to do it!

Hi OP,

I'm a teacher and while I always say to parents that they may communicate with me with issues, a book is genuinely quite low down on my priority list. Whilst it may be your biggest priority, please remember there are other children with potential safeguarding issues etc which take up a lot of time. Just try to see things from the perspective of the teacher, imagine getting 30+ messages every day from parents, with the only time to respond to them being outside of their working hours- as with any job- you prioritise. Maybe give him a slip to hand to her during school hours.
The very worst case scenario is that your son will be given a new book next week when you say the deadline is for the one he hasn't been issued. It happens.

With regards to shouting, nobody can comment whether this was a genuine shout, a stern tone or a raised voice, or whether it was addressed to your son, a group etc. Given the circumstances (a busy pick up with 5 year olds during the first week) I'd probably let this go.

Yeah this. Stop nagging the teacher. She's stressed.

I messaged during school hours yes as she said it’s important the book is read at home. I didn’t expect a reply as such, just that the book may be put in his bag for us to read. He said he’s the only one without a book

This

Ask for a chat with her 1:1 when your son isn't around, perhaps? Him hearing you saying "my son is stuggling" won't help him. I hope he has a better day tomorrow.

I would have a word with her. I get fed up with people tiptoeing around teachers because they have 30+ kids to look after . that's their job, if they cant handle it - especially after having 6 weeks holiday, they are in the wrong job. we tell our kids to 'be kind'. In the real adult world, if I was shouted at like that by someone I would be livid. I would definitely say something to her. I'm angry for you (can you tell??!!) 😳

I think if someone posted saying that their boss had shouted at them for speaking to them, no one would say "ah well, they must have had a stressful day, give them a break, you probably annoyed them all day anyway". And this isn't an adult being shouted at, but a 5 year old.

The messages not being responded to I would say cut her some slack, she has a lot to do, and it's not an issue that needs urgently solving.

Ok, she's a "stressed" bully.
Who would shout at a 5 year old?