To not be happy with new teacher so far because of this

[Chilli89]

1. I messaged her about something and she said she would sort it a few days ago and that someone would be in touch the next day and I’ve heard nothing
2. We were told reading books had come home and I messaged the same day saying my D son hadn’t got his and they still haven’t supplied one for him
3. they were in the line at drop off. he wanted help so approached her. She shouted at me ‘don’t shout at me, I won’t talk at you if you shout at me’ in a really angry face. She didn’t know I was stood there, he did not shout, I heard the whole thing

aibu to not be happy so far?

my d son has only just turned 5. In Y1

No you are right they cant be equated 30 5 year olds are way more stressful!

Don’t be ridiculous. I have had a hell of a lot more stress than 30 little kids awaiting pickup. I have had several adults shouting at me and threatening harm. Not once have I shouted back. So much unprofessionalism amongst teachers being supported here. Stop shouting.

How is it ‘complaining’? The teacher said the kids would have a book which then needed to be returned. She also asked the parents to message her with queries. The mum emailed to ask about the book, so that she could ensure her child read it and return it? If teachers think this is a ‘complaint’ then they really are sensitive flowers and not cut out for a classroom.

A good parent ensures reading and homework is done. I can’t believe teachers think this is complaining 🤯

Some teachers really get their profession a bad name with their exaggeration and hyperbole.

I have never shouted at anyone in my long career. So many excuses here. People being professional does not make them robots.

Back in the real world....

Having been a TA in a reception class you as parents must realise how stressful home pick up is . 1. We don’t recognise every parent/grandma/grandad/child minder who is collecting each child and we are trying to give the right child to the correct carer.
2.We are just getting to know your child , we don’t know them well and are trying our best
3.it is not helpful parents asking questions about books, misplaced jumpers etc till all the children have safely been handed over .
4 Those parents who think their child is the only child in the school and want a breakdown of the whole day , what their child ate, who they played with etc they stop us handing over other children to their parents.Wait please .
5 We are only human . Teaching maybe 30 4/5 year olds and helping them to settle into unfamiliar routines, getting to know strange adults and children who they’ve never met before, new rules about behavior and lunch times , this is not easy for teachers or anxious children , yes the teacher may occasionally get it wrong but give it a few weeks and your child will hopefully settle and be happy at school .

I’m a year 1 teacher and I’d be mortified if I lost my cool in front of parents. Hopefully it’s a one off for her. Hometime is really stressful, trying to keep 30 little ones safe in front of all their adults, esp when you don’t recognise the adults yet!

Is she fairly new? If so, she’ll be extremely stressed and won’t be keeping her cool. Her patience will grow. Has she got a teaching assistant?

Re the book - can you check the topic and just read up on it with your son? Did he possibly forget to put it in his book bag? That’s the usual reason for children not receiving things/ taking things home.

Teachers are not allowed to shout at the kids, so she should not have done that whether he was shouting at her or not!

I totally agree with you. Plus so many people just accept the Op's assertion that the teacher shouted. Some people simply cannot bear that their dc has been told off and therefore exaggerate what actually happened.

Says who?????

Not allowed to shout? Where does it say that? What would a teacher do then if a child was about to do something dangerous to themselves or others?

When my daughter was in year 6 I had the most awful experience with her teacher. The head supported him without knowing any of the facts and was extremely embarrassed when I was able to show her the email trail between us.

Anyway, it turned out that he was having some kind of breakdown and the head was trying to shore things up.

He was becoming increasingly volatile in class and taking it out on the children in random ways.

It was horrible.

My advice is to trust your instincts. School will of course close ranks so you will get nowhere if you complain. But let your son know you believe him.

PLEASE do not become one of those dreaded people who twist everything the OP has written.

Some people simply cannot bear that their dc has been told off and therefore exaggerate what actually happened.

And so many teachers on here cannot bear the idea that maybe, just maybe, the parent/OP might be right and the teacher is in fact just a shit teacher. They do exist!

He was fine in reception last year. He turned 5 in the summer holidays but is in y1. Just seems really unsettled now and having emotional outbursts and meltdowns around school. I did wait for everyone to leave because speaking to his teacher

Someone else who said I complained about the book, I didn’t, just messaged to say he hadn’t got his so it could be put in his bag. Messages are apparently welcomed

She’s not a new teacher to my knowledge, I think she’s taught y1 for a while

Understand telling off if it’s justified then that’s fine but this was shouting clearly frustrated and stressed out, taken out on my DC in front of everyone

Surely this isn't a serious post?

I know! I have worked in many schools and have seen quite a lot of shit teachers!!

My kids have had many teachers over the years, mostly very good, but a couple of crap ones and one who was so bad that the head actually removed her after so many parents complained that she decided to decreetly observe the class herself and was able
to overhear for her self the teacher telling the class they were all stupid and that she hates boys (among other things).

But what really fucks me off is, I get that we are all human, we make mistakes, we forget things. But when that is bought to your attention in an polite and appropriate way, like the OP has done with her child’s missing book - the shitty teachers I’ve encountered can never find it in themselves to acknowledge they messed up.

They get defensive and arsey and take offence that you have DARED to bring to their attention even the slightest suggestion that they may have forgotten something, or made a mistake.

The good teachers I’ve encountered, have owned it - ‘oh do you not have a book Johnny, I’m sorry you were missed out, let’s go and get it now’. No drama, no issues, no ‘complaints’ made or required.

The bad ones, like I suspect the OP has the misfortune of having, will instead next week be saying in an increasingly pissed off tone and a frown on their face ‘why haven’t you read the book? (I didn’t get one miss) Well why didn’t you tell me you didn’t have it, (already anxious kid now goes silent and possibly tearful because they tried to tell the teacher but were ignored or told to not interrupt or told to come back later and they can see and hear the teacher is annoyed) your mummy should have messaged me’ SHE DID. It will all be made to be the kids own fault, or the parents fault. Gaslighting at its finest.

Some parents are shits without a doubt. But so are some parents, and in one breath we are admonished for not engaging enough with school and with our child’s learning and then in the next we are told in no uncertain terms to never ever bother the teacher, they are busy don’t you know, never speak to the teacher, message them, and don’t, whatever you do, say or draw attention to anything that exposes where a teacher has fucked up.

As for the people saying "she's only human, she's allowed to make a couple of mistakes" - do you know what would happen if @SorryThroat or I made a couple of mistakes? We'd be sued and potentially struck off. Why are the expectations from a teacher so much lower?

*that last paragraph should say ‘so are some TEACHERS’ (too late to edit)

@Rinoachicken I worked with a horrible teacher a couple of years ago. It was just awful to see how she spoke to the children. My last straw came when she tried to stop a child from partying in a Christmas activity because his behaviour was 'vile'. I marched to the head's office and said I would quit unless she found a way to get her to leave. It could have turned really nasty but our head came in one afternoon to observe. She then told the teacher the dcs had no respect for her. The woman started crying and then handed in her resignation. Other staff members then felt sorry for her but I just couldn't forgive her for the shit experience she had given those children.
I don't think teachers are infallible in the least. However I have been in situations where we have had parent volunteers around and a staff member has had to tell a child off for being unsafe or inappropriate and those parents being very upset about it. Some parents really are very sensitive and over protective.

My kids are at uni now. They said the best teachers, the ones the kids really loved and respected never had to shout angrily or lose control.