To not be happy with new teacher so far because of this

[Chilli89]

1. I messaged her about something and she said she would sort it a few days ago and that someone would be in touch the next day and I’ve heard nothing
2. We were told reading books had come home and I messaged the same day saying my D son hadn’t got his and they still haven’t supplied one for him
3. they were in the line at drop off. he wanted help so approached her. She shouted at me ‘don’t shout at me, I won’t talk at you if you shout at me’ in a really angry face. She didn’t know I was stood there, he did not shout, I heard the whole thing

aibu to not be happy so far?

my d son has only just turned 5. In Y1

Maybe if you've already contacted her twice the other parents have too and she's prioritised which of the 60 messages to deal with first. Some may be more urgent.

I wouldn't get worked up over the first two things as I know teachers have a lot to deal with this time of year, but I'd be straight over if I witnessed someone shouting at my Son like that when he did nothing wrong.

honestly you need to take a deep breath and just leave it for a few weeks. He doesn’t get a new book this week? He’s 5 it won’t matter. It will settle down. How shouting is shouting? An outside voice? Again I’d leave it as I’d be amazed if it happens again. If it does raise it then

I can't understand the hard time OP is getting here. The child is 5 not 15. He told a teacher his mum was there, other children did before him, he copied them almost as if he is a child...
Then had the teacher raise her voice and throw her arms around when the little lad probably just wanted to go to mummy.
It would have broken my heart to see that.
She's messaged about a problem because she was told to message about any problems.

So here's my unpopular opinion. I wouldn't complain as such but I'd bypass the teacher and ask the head if there's enough books to go around? Just DS doesn't have one. If asked I'd say yes, I did message her. I'd drop into the conversation about the raised voice too.
Because I'm a pain in the arse apparently. When actually my 5 year old, with SEN, has also started year one and he's struggling. So if there's anything at all i can do to help his days go smoother, I'll do it. And I'll sleep soundly knowing I at least tried.

Those saying that if she can't be calm and react well 100% of the time she shouldn't be a teacher, would you accept someone saying the same about you as a parent? We've surely all responded 'badly' to our own DCs poor behaviour or interacted with them in a way we would later agree was less than ideal. That doesn't make us 'bad parents' or mean that we shouldn't even be parents if we can't always do the correct thing. Why is it acceptable to imply a teacher should always react in the 'right' way if we wouldn't expect that if ourselves? And 'because they get paid' is not an acceptable response. They are people who occasionally behave in a way which, given time to reflect, even they might agree wasn't great. Much like everyone else....

If the teacher did raise their voice when they shouldn't have, give them another chance before complaining to their boss or implying they are incompetent. Maybe speaking to the teacher is a better response rather than going straight over their head to the headteacher. But only really if it is a repeating pattern.

Trust your instincts @Chilli89

My DD had a teacher I wasn't sure of, found her ignorant and vacant. She was dismissive of my concerns for DD.

I left it, thought the same as you that she was probably stressed with a new class.

By Christmas my DD was being so badly bullied and she did nothing whatsoever. I had to hear about the serious nature of this violent bullying from a parent, and assumed she didn't know. But when I raised it she did indeed know and felt DD needed to be taught resilience instead of dealing with the bully.

In the January I asked for DD to move class but school refused. That whole school year was wasted as DD became a school refuser, and learned nothing because she was so anxious and upset.

We moved the school in the end.

Be polite, ask about the shouting incident and don't tell her at first you witnessed it, say your DS mentioned it and let her explain. If she lies, and you know she is lying, go to the headteacher.
She should be aware that your DS doesn't have a reading book. If he's a quiet, well behaved lad he could end up falling through the gaps of the ones who get all the attention. Not giving him a book and ignoring the fact from you is plain rude. Make notes of any behaviour which singles your DS out by her.

First two, I'd let go. Raised voice over something minor like leaving the queue, doesn't bode well for the atmosphere she's establishing in her classroom. Some teachers are amazing, some getting by, some are awful. Like any other stressful job. Being a teacher doesn't give you a free pass, we're all accountable for our actions in the workplace.

At the beginning of the year handing children back to their parents is very ,very stressful. You don't know them yet and you are watching for different parents trying to match them to the child ,at the same time as watching to see no one wanders off . You've got parents, childminders ,after school club collectors, grandparents all unfamiliar to you and children who just want to make a dash for their carer.
It's a very anxious time of the day and I'd cut her some slack . I'm sure the rest of the worries can be sorted out within the next week.

If your child should have a particular book, he needs that book. And he should be given that book. Now.

If you saw the teacher shout at your child do NOT let this go. Speak to the teacher about it. Also there will be other witnesses

If the teacher can't do her job ....ie not shouting and putting a book in a book bag, then this needs sorting out

End of

That's a lot of messages. School only just restarted...give it a week to settle

Agree with this. For safeguarding reasons, a teacher would have over a child one by one to a KNOWN parent/carer. Children who are constantly tapping the teacher and calling out to them that they’ve seen their parents stops the teacher from concentrating on this really important handover duty.

OP I'm a teacher and I'm with you, if some children can approach her she shouldn't be getting frustrated with others.

Only slack I would cut her is that it's SO Stressful dismissing a new class, it's awful and it sounds like shes outside?! How on earth can she check everyone has been safely collected? So maybe she was just a bit panicked. But if I saw it again I would speak up.

I imagine the teacher is very busy this week, they will get back to you.

Books, this can take time and they often rely on reading helpers throughout the year. The book will come.

The shouting isn't great.

I'm a teacher myself and I really disliked one of my daughter's primary teachers - it happens - I felt she was unfairly harsh on my daughter and patronising to me.

However, it doesn't do any good nurturing the dislike, does it? Your child is stuck with them - that is not going to change - so you have to try and make the best of the situation, for your child's sake.

Please only contact the teacher when it's genuinely necessary. You don't need to tell her she hasn't sent a book home. She knows she hasn't sent a book home. Read a book you have at home with him. If you don't have any, pop to your local charity shop or a library this weekend and pick some up.

The shouting - she was stressed. He was mithering when he shouldn't have been. It's not great that she shouted, but it won't kill him. My primary school teachers used to shout at us all the time for very little reason. We got through it!

It's not ideal, but nobody is perfect. Your son will be fine, and will very likely have a different teacher next year anyway!

How does he know that?

She is probably doing one group of children a day to sort out suitable books, write in their reading books etc but sent out a generic email to save time.

Your child is not going to end up failing academically because he didn’t get a reading book in the first week of school.

Or simply just a bloody bully....

I spent working life in a primary school. I don’t agree with PP comparing it with saying parents can sometimes shout as it’s completely different when you are a paid professional.

Your skill is to understand the developmental stages of young children and form an effective kind and compassionate relationship with those in your school and hopefully their families to be effective in teaching them. This sounds as if the teacher (inexperienced?) was stressed but you definitely need to check in again that it is a one off and not her pattern of responding to the children with a shouty voice. It can be scary when you’re little. If it transpires she is always like this you definitely need to advocate for your son, firstly with the teacher then the HT if not happy with response.

Hope he settles in well OP.

OP "sounds quite demanding" for doing what the teacher advised her to do?

Weird posts on here....

I don’t think any of it is acceptable but what I imagine has happened is re the book and suggestion to message any Q the teacher was optimistic about what they’d be able to do and classic over promise under deliver. Re the shouting, I’d have raised that there and then. Nonetheless raise it as soon as you can, that really doesn’t seem acceptable and will upset any young anxious children. It sounds like teacher is struggling a bit. Raising it with her might prompt her to seek help/reflect on this mor

hope she does, she shouldn't be a teacher

The message she put out to parents was

‘Reading books have been sent home with everyone today. It is important that these books are read at home as we will be discussing them next week. (They relate to our topic this term). The books will fit your child’s phonics level. Any questions please message and I will do my best to help.’

I only messaged once a couple of days ago, politely, to inform her my son has no book. She read the message so I expected the book to come home by now but it hasn’t.

We have plenty of books at home already but this was asked of us to be read at home so I was just letting her know it wasn’t received. So that it could be put in his book bag

I would talk to her in the morning at drop off, doesn’t need to be lengthy but to say I noticed what happened (re the shouting scenario) and can you not treat my son in that way again. You could add it’s upset him and made him more reluctant to come in. You can be polite and diplomatic but still clear that you’re not having it!

And I would also say please can he have a reading book today. (And I assume she would agree?!). How hard is it to get a reading book and put it in the book bag of a child in your class? And if she can’t do it, she can ask the LSA to do it. Either way he deserves his book. If he comes out after school without one, I wouldn’t leave til I got one.

Nah… don’t like the whole vibe. Are there art other schools you can consider?

Ok so you can use me her words about the importance of the reading book yo ensure you get one. “I understand this is very important as you outlined in your message, so I will wait for you to find the book for my son”

set the tone for your son now, that you have his back. This way the teacher will understand she can’t neglect his learning or act unreasonably without push back from you.