To not be happy with new teacher so far because of this

[Chilli89]

1. I messaged her about something and she said she would sort it a few days ago and that someone would be in touch the next day and I’ve heard nothing
2. We were told reading books had come home and I messaged the same day saying my D son hadn’t got his and they still haven’t supplied one for him
3. they were in the line at drop off. he wanted help so approached her. She shouted at me ‘don’t shout at me, I won’t talk at you if you shout at me’ in a really angry face. She didn’t know I was stood there, he did not shout, I heard the whole thing

aibu to not be happy so far?

my d son has only just turned 5. In Y1

So you didn’t say anything and walked off??

The same way as she gave a nervous little 5 year old a break?

Options for our empathy:

1. A professional adult who lost her rag.
2. A nervous little 5 year old.

You chose the professional adult who lost her rag.

Well done.....

Parents are allowed no direct contact with teachers at my daughter’s school. Emails go the school office and are passed on. We can’t speak to them at pick up and drop off as they only come out as the bell goes. It’s incredibly frustrating, but I can imagine they need that protection from parents to stay sane!

In this situation, the teacher has told you to contact her with any questions, then ignored you. I’d be frustrated by this too. It doesn’t make sense.

With regards to the shouting, I would have stepped in at the time and asked why she was shouting. That’s not on.

I had a parent complain this week that their child hadn’t had a book and reading diary when I KNOW that every single child absolutely did have them ( I went through the list with each child and ticked them off as they chose their book) so I’ve had to do a replacement diary and book. Wonder where the original went, as it’s definitely not in the classroom, and they didn’t take them anywhere else, because I gave them all out just before hometime?

Also had two children bring their books in without the plastic zip-up wallets they are sent home in and they couldn’t tell me what had happened to them. Now they’ve got to have poly pockets because we can’t afford to replace them as a school.

just trying to point out it’s not always school’s fault.

As for shouting… don’t know. Maybe it was a long, frought day and she was a bit more brusque than she should’ve been. They are only human. ( as are us TAs)

It’s so silly to compare being a parent to being a teacher. A teacher is a professional.

I have been a doctor for thirty years and have had my fair share of challenging patients and relatives. I have never ever raised my voice, never mind shouted. Because that would be unprofessional. Why does a teacher think it’s ok to shout? Esp when nothing dangerous has happened.

Stop making excuses for the teacher.

Nope. Some days I am beyond stressed at work in the NHS. Life or death situations. It does not give me an excuse to shout at patients or colleagues. And we would be rightfully chastised for shouting.

I'm glad to hear that, as an adult, your reaction to a person stepping out of a line would be to scream at them. I guess if they don't want to be screamed at they should just wait their turn.

She shouldn’t be raising her voice at a 5 year old. No excuses - it doesn’t matter how stressed she may have felt. She’s an adult, a teacher. Shouting at a nervous 5 year old is not acceptable.

This is the teachers job! If she is behaving like this one week into school what will she be like for the rest of the year?
The person we need to be concerned about here is the poor child.

As for shouting… don’t know. Maybe it was a long, frought day and she was a bit more brusque than she should’ve been. They are only human. ( as are us TAs)

No. Raise your bar. Nobody should shout at work, however stressed they are, esp when working with vulnerable people. If you are professional, you control yourself at work.

You don’t get to shout because you are ‘only human’. Bet you wouldn’t shout as a dad that came in. It’s ok to shout at a young child though?

Pick up is a very stressful time of the day for teachers and more so when the kids very little. Your son may have interrupted her train of thought (if she said he shouted then he may be been quite loud) which is frankly dangerous when she needs to make sure each one of 30 kids is picked up by the right person (each of which she’s only just met - it’s the start of term!). There may even be kids in the class with safeguarding concerns who can’t be collected by certain parties, or kids who are still liable to run off if not actively stopped. She needs to concentrate at this time of day, and may have felt that a stern tone was the best way to discourage all the kids piling on and shouting out.

I think the only reason he left the line was because his teacher said ‘who else can see someone they know’ so he came up in front of her and said something probably along the lines of ‘ I can see my mummy’

She probably said "shouting out" because all he needed to do there was put his hand up. Instead he moved out of line. Pick up times can be chaos and loud and she might have already told the line to put their hands up and stay in the line, so he got told off. You have a very small snapshot of a situation, did you consider just asking her? That age has a hard transition from mostly free time and "busy" jobs so actual sit down raise your hands learning and it's hard for kids and staff.

*to

Losing your cool when a class of 5yr olds are leaving the school clearly shows that’s she’s not coping well with the job as it’s only been a week or so and it needs reporting to the Head to investigate further.

At our Primary school, teachers would happily allow parents a quick word in the playground at drop off and pick up and managed not to shout at the kids either!

Maybe they're Superhuman or just normal competent teachers? 🤔

Your child has been in school for a week along with about 25+ other new children whom the teacher is getting to know. Already you have ‘complained’ about a book, spoken about his struggling and complained on here because (in your opinion) he was shouted at unfairly. Is he your only child and first to attend school as it may be that you are overreacting and thinking your child is the only one she should be concentrating on? PLEASE do not become one of those dreaded parents who is unhappy with everything and mollycoddles her child.

I would ask you see the Head Teacher and voice your concerns. She sounds horrible and should not be shouting at 5 year olds.

If it was a deliberate choice to shout at a small child rather than her losing her temper that actually makes it worse, not better.

In your career, have you ever lost your temper, or shouted at someone?
I'm sure the teachers in your child's school do shout at the kids, just out of sight of the parents. It's not something I do in front of parents, nor is it particularly good form, but teachers are humans, not robots.
I work with many 'normal competent teachers' who occasionally make mistakes or shout at children. I'd probably include myself in that category too.

Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’ve never shouted at anyone at work.

I used to manage a large department with more than a hundred staff before retiring and you find ways to manage your frustration that doesn’t impact your staff and other colleagues.

If staff are routinely losing their temper and shouting at junior colleagues, then they’re either in the wrong job or not being adequately supported.

The only time a teacher should resort to shouting is to prevent actual harm occurring. Not because they can’t control their frustration. Teachers who routinely shout at children are in the wrong job and need removing from the profession.

It sounds awful and I’d be quite upset if a teacher shouted at my five year old. At this stage just take it as a possible warning that she is out of control. Keep an eye on it. She may well feel remorseful and overwhelmed and will try very hard not to repeat such behaviour. It’s a tough job requiring so many skills. Explain this to your son. Don’t take it personally at this stage.

. It will come good. Don’t let your son pick up on your irritated vibe. It will make him more anxious. Vicious circle.

You were perfectly reasonable to email her regarding not being sent home the book that he needs to read for the class topic, there's no doubt about that.
But if you were standing there and saw and heard the whole thing, why on earth didn't you wait until all the children had been handed over to their adult and approach her about her behaviour then? Seems very odd to me.

Both of mine were perfect angels at school (according to their teachers). The moment they arrived home they would often turn into horrors, letting out any frustrations of the day. That's pretty common. It's their safe space.

Personally I would contact the head and ask for a chat about it all.

If you had 30 patients at once your comment might have some relevance.

And are you really equating 30 kids with 30 patients?! And are we really dismissing the stress a doctor faces? I couldn't do what doctors do. I'm a corporate lawyer and frequently have clients shout and swear but I wouldn't dream of shouting back - I'm a professional.