I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

[Marooney]

Last night my partner proposed, which was lovely. I often like simple and classic in general but this ring just feels so small and generic, I'm sad. Also I have quite big hands and I think the ring is kind of swamped. He went to choose it after work apparently and went to the shop he knows in town. He said if I didn't like it I could change it, but I've had a look at the shop's website and honestly they don't have anything I like better. I like more vintage styles (lots on Etsy that I like), bigger stone (could be moissanite, I don't mind if it's not valuable) and this shop just has modern looking things, this is the best of the lot. Unfortunately they only do exchanges, not refunds. Not sure what to do :( I guess the AIBU is AIBU for feeling disappointed with this ring, and AIBU for seeing if he minds me using the shop credit for some future birthday and Christmas presents (it was about £360) and looking for a ring elsewhere. Any other suggestions welcome 🙏🏼

Looks like a £50 Argos job, did he really pay £360?

I like it.

8 years ago I was also very disappointed with my engagement ring. It wasn’t what I would have chosen. But DH told me why he chose it. And he did put a lot of thought into it. Now I’ve grown to love it.

I think if you don’t like it then you hand it back and propose to him with a ring he’d like instead.

See, I really like this ring... it's classic and looks good on you but I totally understand you need to be happy with it as you're the one wearing it.

I would definitely go and try it on with some more blingy wedding rings first before you make a decision. A ring with a larger stone will be trickier to pair with a wedding band.

I have a very similar engagement ring, with a diamond wedding ring and also now an eternity ring and I love the combination. The benefit of the engagement ring you have is that it is timeless and will go with everything.

Obviously if you are really unhappy with it, then getting it exchanged for two wedding bands is a great idea.

Your best solution would be to exchange it for wedding bands and get a pretty ring elsewhere.

So bloody rude.

I had never heard of these so had a google and it's a fantastic idea!!

This was going to be my suggestion

I don’t think so, if that is a diamond it must have cost a lot more than £360

Definitely 100% change it if you don’t like it. It’s a waste otherwise. Go together and get happy!!

congratulations x

Go into the shop and talk to them. They might well have other one off pieces (SH maybe) that aren't on the website. Or they might be able to order something in that is more to your taste or suggest alterations to boost this one a little.

I agree it's on the plain side and a little small for your finger. That's not his fault - jewellery, just like clothes, needs to be tried on to see what suits you. however, I disagree with people saying it's generic. Own brand tomato ketchup is generic - a diamond solitaire is a timeless classic.

@Girlslikepearls everyone I know got proposed to with a ring already decided. Where the guy got down on one knee. I'm in my 30's so I'm hardly from 'back in the day'

This is why the surprise proposal with a ring is not 'romantic', more 'Here's some jewellery I chose for you, and which you're supposed to wear daily forever and feel grateful I chose for you.'

Gosh, it's true the younger generations are waay more reactionary.

Why on earth would you post that? What is wrong with you?

I don’t understand the fashion for a man to choose the ring when it’s his fiancée who will be wearing it. I’ve been married twice and both times we went together to choose rings.

It's lovely. Once you add a wedding and then an eternity ring either side of it, the overall size of multiple rings will probably make the final overall impression bigger, if that's what you're after.

My engagement is similar to that but I have a diamond filled band for a wedding ring which gives it a bit more sparkle iyswim.

Maybe go into the jewellers and try on a wedding ring with it to see what it'll look like and then decide if you still don't like it.

Great idea

I haven't looked at all of the previous comments so apologies if I am repeating what has already been said.

You will hopefully wear this ring for the rest of your life, If you don't like it now it is doubtful that you will grow to love it in time.

I would have the conversation sooner rather than later and suggest you choose something together that is more to your taste. Deep breath and time for the 'do you have the receipt' conversation.

Personally I think it is bland choice there are so many options available, different metals, stones or even vintage rings which would provide more ring for the money.

I have been married twice, divorced and sadly widowed and on both occasions I chose my engagement ring with my spouse, I know my own mind and would loathe a ring to be presented to me, jewellery is such an individual choice.

I think it's pretty, but swapping for a pair of wedding rings is a great idea, as others have said.

My husband made my engagement ring. It's beautiful, actually beautiful, but I never did like the shape of the stone. But because he'd made it, I didn't want to complain. We made our wedding bands for each other, too, and it did grow on me after that because the band was cut to accommodate the shape of the engagement ring. I don't wear the engagement ring all of the time, but I do love the wedding ring and its shape so that's never off. Engagement ring just comes out for special occasions.

He still doesn't know. But as your partner hasn't literally poured blood, sweat, tears, and money into your ring, in your shoes I'd tell him you'd prefer something different.

@YaWeeFurryBastard
Exactly.

The ring is fine. A bit dull and generic looking I suppose. Very much screams man knows nothing about jewellery but needs to buy a ring.

great idea!

It is a lovely ring, but if it's not your style or taste then you're never going to love it.

I can never understand why some men make this decision by themselves, taste in jewellery is so personal and an engagement ring is something you will be looking at for years to come.

Wedding rings completely change the look of engagement rings, if you are feeling it looks lost on your finger, but if the whole style is not your taste then you do need to tell him, I'm sure he would prefer you to be happy with what you get.

Congratulations

I was early stages of pregnancy when my husband proposed. In that stage where you just cannot contain your emotions over absolutely nothing. I had waited for him to propose for years. Was delighted when he did but hours later and I’d mentally just not thought the ring was the one. I really didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to offend him. I cried and cried and he was asking me what was wrong but i couldn’t stop myself 😂 I did eventually tell him and I worded it that it was square and I had wanted one that was round (through my pathetic tears) 🙈 I changed it and ordered the replacement online. We didn’t tell a soul and had already posted a picture and showed people it but no one ever noticed it changed. I love my ring now though