I don't like my engagement ring 😞 (pic)

[Marooney]

Last night my partner proposed, which was lovely. I often like simple and classic in general but this ring just feels so small and generic, I'm sad. Also I have quite big hands and I think the ring is kind of swamped. He went to choose it after work apparently and went to the shop he knows in town. He said if I didn't like it I could change it, but I've had a look at the shop's website and honestly they don't have anything I like better. I like more vintage styles (lots on Etsy that I like), bigger stone (could be moissanite, I don't mind if it's not valuable) and this shop just has modern looking things, this is the best of the lot. Unfortunately they only do exchanges, not refunds. Not sure what to do :( I guess the AIBU is AIBU for feeling disappointed with this ring, and AIBU for seeing if he minds me using the shop credit for some future birthday and Christmas presents (it was about £360) and looking for a ring elsewhere. Any other suggestions welcome 🙏🏼

It's lovely but if you don't like it you don't like it. Shocked that there's nothing at all in the shop suitable. Maybe it's a conversation you should have had previously as it sounds like your mind is set on something particular.

Genius idea.

This.

I like it, but if you don't then using shop credit for presents and buying a replacement is a great idea.

If it had huge sentimental value or he spent a lot of time shopping for the perfect one it might be different. As he has already offered swap i think that your suggestion is no different, just an extra step as nothing in the store you like.

Aw. I think it looks really classy. All my friends (except me 😅) have eternity rings, rings for having a baby, ‘10 year’ rings etc - definitely just a way to get more bling. There’s lots of opportunity to add over the years. I think it’s lovely to imagine him going to the shop and choosing something for you.

I really love the ring. Does your dp know how you feel?

It's lovely. Very classic - depending on the wedding ring it could be anything you wanted it to be.

It's a bog standard simple single solitaire, not much to the setting of the stone but that might be the angle of the photo. I guess it's not a diamond at £350.
Thousands of other ladies will be wearing it, or one very similar and they are probably delighted with their ring,
but you are not.

I chose a solitaire for my engagement ring - with the thought that solitaire means one, and it was my intention that he would be my one and only husband :)

accepting an exchange for a wedding ring or 2 is a brilliant suggestion from one of the other MN'ers.

I can understand your disappointment, and as this is a ring you hope to wear for the rest of your life it is important you love it !

You may have to accept he won't be able to afford to buy another engagement ring right now if the exchange is used for wedding ring/s ?

I do too! I think it'll be fine once you have a wedding ring too, I always think engagement rings look a bit lost without a wedding ring to anchor them.

This is clever!!!

Why would she have given him anything? He literally proposed last night -
stop being so bloody snippy. She doesn't like the ring, it doesn't make her evil!

I like it and don't get what is not to like. But then I guess I'm not that invested in jewellery/looks generally. Eeeek

Your fiance has good taste in rings. 😊

Don’t settle for a ring you don’t like.

Exchange for wedding bands, choose an engagement ring yourself elsewhere.

I chose both mine, it's too important to look at one and feel sad for the rest of your life.

I don't know when the fashion for men choosing engagement rings started, but when we got engaged many years ago, my husband proposed, then we went to the jewellers and chose a ring together. How do they know the ring size anyway?

Your ring is beautiful OP, but you know if it suits your hand or not.

Oh bless. Its a lot like mine but yours has a bigger diamond. I adore mine as it was bought as a poor student for £100 in the 1990's using his savings. Think it suits your hand. Have you told him?

When my husband proposed he took one of my costume jewellery rings to get the size right.

I loved the fact he chose an engagement ring for me. But maybe I am only delighted because I liked it - would have been awful if I didn’t I guess.

Yanbu OP. My ex proposed with a ring very like that, only on white gold. I felt as if he had put very little thought into it. I did grow to like it, but I don't think you are being unreasonable to feel as you do.

Tricky. But I think it would be hurtful to make a big deal of it. I like the idea of swapping it for two wedding rings. Alternatively, prod him to buy you a ring you’ve obviously admired, for a birthday or Christmas, and over time gradually swap which one you wear on which finger.

Congrats on your engagement. I personally think it’s important you have a ring you like, you are wearing it after all. I wouldn’t wear one I hadn’t had a part in choosing, and these days I doubt many people would. Could you get both weddings rings from the shop in exchange, and get an engagement ring from somewhere else?

I like it but if it’s not your style then that’s okay! How does he feel about you swapping it?

I think it would be a good idea to go to the shop together and see if there’s anything more suited to you. Also try on wedding rings, my engagement ring looks different with the wedding band next to it.
If there’s nothing there then I’d go with others suggestions of putting the money towards wedding bands.

That's rude! She wants to like the ring, she simply doesn't. It's not something we can choose.

@Iamawomandontcallmeanythingelse Have you never been bought something you don't like? You must be lucky if you haven't. She's acknowledged he's done a lovely thing and is not complaining about him.
It's also ok not to like what he's chosen and given she has to look at it every day, not unreasonable to debate how to tackle the problem and ask for advice. It's a little different to being bought a jumper you don't like and is very easy just not to wear.
Your post is harsh.

Fantastic idea. I'd do this!
He's already said it's OK to change it, and this way it turns in to something still wedding related and precious for both of you.