School banning banter

[Citrusblast92u]

DS is in year 11. They had a whole school assembly yesterday's entitled 'banning bants', this includes banter between friends. One strike and they're in detention, 2 and they have to attend a workshop, 3 and parents have to attend the workshop, 4 and the police are called.

I asked him what they meant by bants and he said anything that anyone might find offensive. His mates have spent many hours at our house. They're a lovely bunch of lads, very polite and kind but their main form of communication with each other is piss taking.

Just after some opinions really rather than an AIBU.

Yabu-banter should be banned
Yanbu-they can't ban banter

Seems fair enough. A lot of "bantz" is actually quite rude and wouldn't be acceptable in a workplace.

Surely whether something is "banter" or not is all down to opinion?

I'm not a fan of policing everyone's language - of course, if someone is being bullied then that needs dealing with, but you don't do that by policing absolutely everything.

Theres a fine line between "banter" and bullying.

Realising what you are saying can be hurtful, even if the person appears to be laughing is important

The problem is “banter” is often actually bullying but they think labelling it banter makes it acceptable.

school have obviously have significant issues in order to decide this is needed.

Depends what the 'banter' actually is. We've had to do assemblies on this as too many students were saying it was just 'banter' when it was actually more like bullying.

It really depends.... I assume it's been a problem?

I work at a special school for teens with mental health difficulties. We haven't banned banter but we teach kindness, consideration and "inside thoughts Vs outside thoughts." I feel we have a good line without banning it, personally. But then we only have around 30 in our school. It would be different if we had 1000 perhaps

Fine line. I’m getting a shit load of banter at work from my team. They all laugh and see it as banter. I go home each evening knowing it’s bullying disguised as banter.

It’s only banter when the people involved all consider it to be, often it’s a form of bullying so good on the school for taking a firm line

I suppose on it's hard to say when banter stops being banter and starts being mean. Nobody knows how the "banter" is effecting the person it's directed at. I get offended by banter easier than other people and it really annoys me, I really wish I didn't! 🙈 But on the other hand this is going to contribute to the overall problem we have of young people being protected from any form of negativity and then going into adult life with little to no resilience or ability to stand up for themselves because they never had to. (Not that I think bullying should be used to teach this but hopefully you know what I mean by this).

All it takes is one comment too far and someone is annoyed, could lead to someone being upset or could lead to a physical altercation then! It has obviously been risen as a problem by some students.

Banter is often another way of bullying imho. If the school feel the need to ban it then there must have been issues of some sort.

Banter between friends is just the British way of communicating. I agree banning it between groups who the school feels aren't linked/friendly is a sensible precaution but between friends is a bit much.

I’ve heard teens “banter” and mostly it’s nasty, offensive and insulting. It often leads to an escalation and fights. The school are trying to avoid this.

So many kids are bullied and then the bully will say 'calm down it's only banter'. I think banning it makes it clear. Everyone knows where they stand. No gray areas

I used to work in a team that only seemed to communicate through banter, it was exhausting, the constant back and forth and trying to think of a whitty retort. I didn't last there long.

I see how the school are prepping the kids for the working world and that kind of relentless banter shouldn't be tolerated.

Nail on the head! Banter is basically a bully's opportunity to bully and get away with it. Good on the school for taking a stand!

They're already labelled as the 'snowflake' generation.

I'm assuming they are saying you can't use 'it's banter' to justify something that was experienced as offensive or abusive by those on the receiving end or by those overhearing if its generally considered offensive and discriminatory. They wa g the children to think about what they are saying more. I guess quietly in a group of friends you might say things not quite OK, so its about knowing your audience and not expecting others to let it go. I think it's a good thing but poor teachers policing it.

Between friends is ridiculous, that's often how groups of lads communicate. They need to realise the difference between banter and bullying and if it is banter I can't see the police being remotely interested.

Then ban things that are offensive and insulting - not all banter is like that.

I think it's also making a statement about casual homophobia or racism and (please) misogyny not being tolerated.

In my workplace a lot of “banter” would be classified as offensive and we’ve all had active bystander training to speak up against these micro- aggressions. I was a bit eye rolly at first but it’s really tamped down on the “male banter” of showing each other smut on phones with accompanying commentary. I always thought it was a bit off but not directed at me or any other colleagues so didn’t feel I could raise it as it’s just “banter”. Possibly teach them that banter is for outside of school.

In my workplace a lot of “banter” would be classified as offensive and we’ve all had active bystander training to speak up against these micro- aggressions. I was a bit eye rolly at first but it’s really tamped down on the “male banter” of showing each other smut on phones with accompanying commentary. I always thought it was a bit off but not directed at me or any other colleagues so didn’t feel I could raise it as it’s just “banter”. Possibly teach them that banter is for outside of school.

If its genuinely good natured banter between friends then its not going to be reported is it. Its only when its an issue that it becomes an issue. It may make kids think more about what they say.

Daft question here and I know no sensible parent would do this but here goes
Have you actually spoken to the school to find out why or have you just taken your kids word for gospel and being the sensible adult you are jumped on a bandwagon with only half the information