To not drive dc to school (yr7)

[HippyKayYay]

DC just started secondary. School is a 30min walk (from village into town, all on pavements). No bus option.

aibu to insist they walk to and from school, even though we could in theory drive them?

DH thinks we should drive them (for an easy life), I think they should walk (because it’s secondary ffs, it’s only half an hour). I don’t mind giving a lift in ‘exceptional circumstances’ (pouring rain, etc), but I don’t want it to be the norm/expectation.

We walked to primary, but it was 4 minutes away!

Edited to add: there is suspected adhd at play that can make getting organised and out in the mornings challenging/ stressful for DC. This is DH’s main rationale for driving them. But I think we need to help DC be better organised rather than driving them.

I think walking is good for them

I agree with you. Health wise walking is a huge benefit but also I think fostering a sense of independence in children this age is important. My teenage DC get a lift to school but walk back, it’s a 50 min walk.

So do I!

Make the bugger walk, better for their health and fitness (assuming it's not a really busy road) better for the environment, better for stress levels when trying to park etc etc. Half an hour is nothing.

Can it be cycled? That might be a middle way that means it takes less time but the child can still be independent.

I don't blame you for being against lifts as standard. Children arrive ready to learn better when they walk or cycle to school and they develop important life skills.

Lifts when it's absolutely pouring rain, fair enough.

I drive DD and it's closer than that but only because she's autistic and arriving to school sweaty or damp from rain is a sensory nightmare and starts her day off poorly. At one time she did have PE and food tech on the same day so I picked her up on those days otherwise she walked.

She runs and plays rugby outside of school so not worried about the health implications from a walk to school. I also like to know she arrived safely.

I'd mix it up, sometimes walk, sometimes lift. No need to leave them to it every single day just for the sake of making a point. My opinion anyway.

I agree with you. DD is her final year of primary school and I'm being strict about her walking home herself. It's 15/20 mins max. Obviously if it's torrential rain or exceptionally weird weather (I'm west of Ireland) then I'll get her but at that age it's good to be independent.

Lift there if they have heavy stuff.
Walk home. Its part of the socialising time!

A healthy Y7 should be well able to walk for 30 minutes each way. Very good for them.

Is cycling an option?

Agree it's also excellent for children to be in the habit of getting an hour of light exercise 5 days a week, on top of any sports they might do. And seeing the car as a luxury rather than a first resort. Healthy habits can last a lifetime.

Steep hill involved that even I have to push bike up! But they could cycle and walk that bit and indeed even planned to do that, but that seems to have gone out of window now school has actually started

I would driving to school and let them walk home.

My neighbour’s DD walks 30 mins to the bus stop, then 40 mins bus ride (rural area.) Nothing wrong with a walk to and from school - better for the environment, better for their health.

Agree the exercise aspect but truthfully I’d worry at that age about being alone in public and unsupervised for this long on such a regular basis. They are still physically unable to defend themselves. Exercise is all very well but I’d go to the park with them still at that age. Yes to popping five mins snd back to the shop for an errand, but you are able to better ensure they arrive and return safely before anyone gets too far.

I think I would drive one way but probably also drive if it was raining. How long does the drive take?

If I was free and had the time I would probably drop them.

Oh let them try! Kids have got bags of energy. Even if they have to walk the hill for a while they'll probably be spinning up after a bit of practice.

There are very few hills that cars can get up but bikes can't if you've got youth on your side

probably about 5-10 min drive depending on traffic and where we drop off (annoying one way system involved).

If your dh thinks they should not walk he can drive them every day and not involve you

Yanbu. Half an hour walk is not much for secondary age. It’s a safe route. Better for their health, both physical and mental. Better for the environment.

edited to add: there is suspected adhd at play that can make getting organised and out in the mornings challenging/ stressful for DC. This is DH’s main rationale for driving them.
But they still have to get organised and out of the door if they get a lift, too. Even if it’s at a slightly later time (I’m guessing max 15-20 mins later than if they walk).

My ds has also started secondary which is 30 minutes away.
I drop to school in the morning and he walks home. He has decided he is going to cycle to school which is good.

I walked that distance there and back every day no matter the weather, I got picked up twice when I wasn’t well. I was a skinny teen. Are there others walkingthe same route? There was always a massive amount of us walking the same way. The only real danger was one road without a crossing and I had to time the traffic light just right and dash across

30 min walk is no distance at all. What would he have to do if both of you worked and were unable to drop him off or if the car broke? I suspect both you and your husband walked to school.. it would be quite unusual to be getting lifts back in a day.
Cycling is a good option too even if he has to walk his bike up a hill.

@Calliopespa plenty of bad things happen to grown adult males and I don't give my partner lifts to work or supervised walks in the park on this basis. At some point, you will have to let your kids be independent and let them take some risks.

Of course walk, mad you'd consider driving that distance (unless genuinely awful weather). No wonder there's an obesity and climate crisis. Or cycle, would probably take same time as driving.

You can't live in fear like this! So unhealthy.